17 weeks pregnant... Adoption?

cantstopLinnyG

Please do NOT email any of the people here. They ONLY want your baby, Kaden. They could give 2 squats about you.

Know that open adoption is NOT enforceable in the US. It is a ploy agencies and lawyers use to get young vulnerable women to sign their child away.

You cannot give your child up for adoption UNTIL it is born, so do NOT sign anything with anyone. Please have your baby and get to know him a little more BEFORE you make this decision. Your son already knows and loves YOU and does NOT want to be raised by strangers. Your baby DESERVES to be with his oMOTHER...not strangers. THAT'S what's best for the baby. Please do not do this to yourself or your baby.

PLEASE listen to the first Moms and the adoptees here. THEY will tell you the truth...they do NOT want YOUR baby, and ONLY want what's best for you and your son.

Please look at these links to see how adoption will affect YOU and Kaden.

http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index....
http://www.adoptioncrossroads.org
http://www.amfor.net/acs
http://www.origins-usa.org
http://www.motherhelp.info/index.htm
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/the_primal_w...
http://www.thegirlswhowentaway.com/
http://www.nancyverrier.com/pos.php

Possum

Make sure you know your rights - and make sure you read this - by women that wish someone has told them what it would be really like to lose a child to adoption -

http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pdf

Open adoptions are not enforceable - so don't let anyone tell you how wonderful they are - because most adoptive parents close up the adoption once they have the child.
What's absolute BEST for the child (emotionally and psychologically) - is to grow in the family he was born to.
Babies want their mothers - not a family of strangers.
Adoption is a long term solution - to an often short term problem.
I've missed my mother every day of my 39 yrs - and my adoption didn't have to happen - my mother was forced into it.

Be very aware.
I hope that you can find a way to parent - it's what your baby wants the most.
All the best.

Oh - and those that will tell you that adoption is wonderful - and sunshine and rainbows - are those that want your baby - or one similar.
You'll find very few adoptees or first-mothers that will praise what has become an industry - adoption.
Adoption agencies make loads of money from babies - they'll tell you anything you want to hear - just to get your child.

efrain78223

u should keep your boy..

rachael

my first question....WHY do you want to give your baby up?

are you too young? i doubt it. i was 17 when i got pregnant, my daughter is now 18. we didnt live in a mansion but we did fine for ourselves. it can be done, i am proof.

you dont have the money? same as above. it can be done. its tight, its hard, but it is completely doable.

you need to remember-adoption is a permanent answer to a temporary situation. anything you are going through right now is temporary. but giving your baby up is permanent.
open adoption is NOT enforcable. you are going to have tons of promises, pictures, letters, visits. but when they aparents decided they dont want to do that any more-they can stop and you can to NOTHING about it. because you gave up your rights. i know many will tell you it is enforcable-but check it out. its NOT.

you need to make sure you understand what you are doing. my bmom had some of the best reasons to give me up. and she spent most of her life hating herself for it. every day was a constant reminder of what she had lost.
you should talk to her. she may be able to make you see what the after effects may be for you. Lori A-thats my mom. i highly recommed you contact her or any other bparent here. there is more to it then you are seeing. and it is FOREVER.

Jennifer L

I don't tell people to parent their children and I don't tell people to place a child for adoption. That has to be your decision and it has to be you that decides what is best.

I do advise people to make an informed decision. If you are considering adoption, make sure you understand all of your rights and all of the legalities in your state. Don't expect the adoption agency to be upfront with everything for you. Do the research and learn for yourself.

There are also lots of resources out there to help young parents. Financial assistance, housing assistance, even money for college. Don't automatically assume that you won't have the money to raise your child. Help is out there. But again, you have to do the legwork, fill out the paperwork, etc.

I'm not here to tell you which option is the best one for you. Just make sure that before you and your boyfriend make a decision, that you've really looked at all of the options out there.

Good luck.

Jaclyn G

What state are you in? And you do need to know ALL of your rights! I think Adoption is a great thing!! We are trying to adopt at the moment. It is a very hard process for the adoptive parents! But have you considered private or open adoption? What is it that you want out of the adoption? Set your terms and then find the best family for your baby! You can be as picky as you want it is your baby! You are giving them a gift!!

crzymmof8

I kind of want to answer Possum. I am sorry that your adoption was not good. My brother is adopted. He now has a relationship with his birth parents and also obviously still with us his adoptive family. He has had a relationship with both for quite a while (since he was 5 before that just letters and pictures). He is well adjusted and happy. I don't think that adoption is horrible. I do agree that agencies make huge profits (sadly). I do hope that my adopted children never feel this way. We include their birth parents in their lives because no matter what they are a huge part of them. No one can ever erase that and I am not saying this to take anyone's baby. Hope you make whatever decision is the best one for you.

The Lauren

Do not listen to those who are telling you to keep that child. Adoption is an amazing thing. If you feel like its the right thing for you and especially your baby, then that is the best option. Just make sure you have all the facts. Its certainly going to be very hard to give your child up. But if its a better option for both of you, its the best way. My nephew is adopted and I couldnt even imagine what his life who be like if he were stuck with his drug addicted mother. (not saying thats who you are too) If you feel like that baby will have a better life with another family, then thats the best choice.

Tiffanie might induce tomorrow!

You need to find and talk to someone in a local planned parenthood clinic so they can tell you the different options where you live.

Edit: Jeez people she didn't ask for a lecture, she asked for resources. Who are you to say she needs to keep the child, you know nothing about her.

spunky96

I think you need to speak to your doctor maybe on where to start as far as adoption goes. Have you named your baby already? It seems to be from your name. If so i would think it will be harder to give this baby up. You need to speak to someone about this right away and see what your options are before you make your decision. Good luck!

kattilac1

You can come to IA and give him to me, lol. I am almost 32, my fiance and I want to adopt, but cant afford it thru a center. You can go to your local hospital and ask them where to go, or call anonymously. There are centers all over the place, Im not sure where you are, so cant really help. If you are going to do it, Id get busy on it now, somtimes the process can be long, and they will want to go thru files, and med records and such. You would also have to decide on if it was going to be an open adoption, I am against that myself, but to each their own. Just do some serious thinking on it, and once you make your choice, stick with it. Its very hard for couples to be promised a baby, to have it yanked away from them at birth. Trust me. You can hold the future of someone lives, not just your babies, in the palm of your hand. Its crushing to have that happen. And think about your future and your bfs. Are you two financially capable of raising a child? Do you have your own home? Good jobs? Insurance? The time it takes to actually raise him? Do you have the patience for a crying baby, sick baby? Its not just YOU to think about it. Its all three of you. Its a hard decision. Not being able to have children myself, I cant say I understand, but I would hope that if I ouldnt take care of the child, Id help the child and a childless couple. I do believe in adoption, I think its great. Not everyone can adopt, they are screened, and majority turn out to be great people, so your baby would have a good home, which is what he needs. But if you two keep him, and cant handle it, it wont be the best home for him. You can learn to get over the adoption, if you keep him and dont raise him right, it will be harder to get over, and for him as well. Good luck to you both, I hope you figure out whats right for you all!

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