A Few Questions About Adoption?

I recently asked a question regarding whether or not a single man would be able to adopt a young girl? Some people were saying that I was a paedophile because I was asking the question but that's not true. I would also be very concerned if young girls were allowed to be adopted by single men but if that single man is safe, sensible and trustworthy then they should be allowed.

For example:

I'm currently seventeen years of age and I plan on having my own children in the future but if I was like thirty and had no partner then I would strongly consider adopting if I was financially stable. I really want a daughter so a young girl about four or five years old would be my preference. I don't know why I'd rather a daughter than a son but I think girls are generally more well behaved and cause less trouble. Why would there be anything wrong with that? If I find a young girl who has been put into adoption and I wanted to give her a good life then what's the problem? Some people say that it's wrong for a child do to have a mother-figure around but surely one parent is still better than none?

Also, I don't really know much about adoption but what is involved in the whole process? Do you go to an orphanage and select the child you want or are you given a child randomly?
Additional Details
I'm not thinking about adoption. I'm talking about in the future. Like I said, I'll probably get married and have my own children at some stage of my life. However, I find the topic very interesting and I would certainly look into the possbility of adopting a child if I do end up being on my own in fifteen years time. Although I shouldn't be negative now but at least my life would have a meaning.

sizesmith

The hardest part about adoption is finding a child to adopt. Since you'd prefer the 4-5 year old stage, foster care adoption is the easiest to adopt from.

There are hurt children in the system, but there are also so many more that need a loving home that are wonderful, and become well-adjusted citizens with the help and love of good parenting.

In a situation like yours, (future) if you knew a woman who was placing a child for adoption, and did private adoption, it would be the easiest. Quite frankly, a young man like yourself, that has his head on his shoulders, and actually desires a family is a pretty hot item to find, and chances are, some woman will snap you up in a heartbeat, and together, you'll have children, and maybe adopt too.

You'll have to have home studies done, and the laws vary so much from state to state. Google adoption, your state, and do a lot of research. Start the processes of the education early, and if you decide to do foster adoption, it will take about 9 months before you're placed with a child.

kristysearching

"I don't know why I'd rather a daughter than a son but I think girls are generally more well behaved and cause less trouble."

Just a note and in my own humble opinion...

Girls generally are FAR more difficult to raise then boys. You had better do some more investigating :).

I have an 18 yr old son and a 17 yr old daughter, not every child is the same but, wow, girls are much more difficult.

Most of my friends have had similiar comments. They are precious, you adore them, but more stressful to raise.

As far as the single male wanting to adopt part, I think you would find alot of doors shut on you just because of that. I do not know your motives, and they could be wonderful but most agencies prefer an intact family unit to place. As far as foster care adoption, I have no clue.

BLW_KAM

If you want to learn, there are many places on the Internet that can help you. Here's a place to start: http://www.theadoptionguide.com/

This site will only give you a brief overview of the process. There is much more to it than that. You need to think about international adoption, domestic adoption, open, closed, foster care, agency, private and more.

You need to educate yourself about how adoption effects the adoptee, the natural parents and the adoptive parents. It's a long journey.

Hayley France

You apply for adoption and then you will be expected to attend several meeting with social workers and child care workers to see if you are suitable. You will be allocated a social worker who will conduct home visits to ensure your home is a safe and suitable place to bring up a child. S/he will also want to speak to members of your family and people who know you to get a good idea of what sort of person you are.

A background check will be run to make sure there are no criminal convictions etc in your past and they will make sure that you are financially stable to have a child.

If you are suitable to adopt you will tell them what you are looking for in a child and what you could not cope with. For example; your preference is a girl between the ages of 4 and 5. You do not feel you could cope with a child with a particular disorder etc. They pretty much use this as a "search criteria" and narrow down children that would be suitable for you. They will then send you informationg regarding certain children you might be interested in and if you decide you like the sound of one of them through the paperwork given to you on that child a visit to that child will be arranged. You will have to make up a little "portfolio" of yourself which will be given to the child in advance so that she can see a picture of you and read about your interests etc.

Then you will visit the child a few times and take her out first with and then without her foster carers. When she is use to you she will visit you at your home with her foster carer who will leave her there alone after a few days staying with you to make sure the transition goes smoothly. Then the child will live with you and a date will be set for you to appear in court to have the child legally signed over to you.

seorph

Well unfortunately it really depends on where you adopt from. We just adopted a daughter from China and they do not allow single parents to adopt. The country where your daughter lives will set the rules governing the adoption. Hope that helps and good luck in the future.

sunny

If you are really a 17 y.o. male who is thinking about adoption, well, I think that's odd.

You should be thinking about LOTS of other things. You might want to go to a qualified therapist to find out why having complete control of a "4 or 5 year old girl" is important to you.

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