A- parents, have u ever adopted a child thinking that u were infertile only 2 find out that you can have kids?

aloha.girl59

I adopted my son nearly six years ago. Apparently I am infertile.

The media hypes up the women that "think" they're infertile, adopt, and then have biological children. In actuality, those women make up about 5% of the population that adopts. The other 95% truly are infertile for whatever reason and never do become pregnant.

I know a woman who adopted her son thinking she wasn't able to have children biologically and then did become pregnant. As far as I could tell, she treated both of the children with love and compassion.

Serenity71

Ahhh typical toddler reactions to a new sibling taking all of mums time. It doesn't matter if they're biological or adopted. Little kids can get possessive of their parents. Why would you suddenly love a child less because they became more challenging in your life? It just means the dymanics in your family have changed.

T MAMA

by the look of your other question you and your dead beat hubby has also and it doesnt matter if its an a child or b child all children act out for attention when a new baby comes in their home my 4 yr old was 3 when her new baby brother and sister (twins) came home and she was so jelous she would call them its and would not play with them and when i would hold them she would be up my butt but now they are about to be a year and she loves them she has calmed down and even helps me take care of them because to make her feel more like she was loved also i let her help me by throwing away the diapers and holding the bottles for them and sitting in the middle of the bed and holding them and now she kisses them all day and every other minute she tells them she loves them she acts like a little mommy so maby that is what you have to do involve your first child with the new baby and yes i said your first child not the word adopted because as soon as you signed those papers you bacame that childs mother but anyway on your other question i seen you say your hubby ignores the child well have you thought maby he acts bad to get attention from daddy?? that child dont know what hate is he is to young he just knows what love feels like and strives for it and feels he gets even less now that the new baby is here so let him join in on helping feed the baby giveing it a bath and even changing diapers involve the older child and praise him when he helps out dont just ignore the problem love them both and dont even think of the word adopted cause i was adopted when i was 6 months old and we never say that word ever cause they are my real family no matter whos belly i was in it is about who loves and raises you and you need to show more love to the older child that way he can show love back to the new baby without feeling like the new baby is trying to steal you away

Gaia Raain II

What does your infertility have to do with a child needing a home? Or did you adopt thinking it was a cure for infertility? If that's the case, well, it worked. Wonder if your son is now feeling like he's no longer needed, beings that your "infertility" is cured now. I'm pretty sure if I were brought into a family because the adults had problems, and their problems were solved, I'd be feeling pretty worthless. Kind of hard to explain to a child that now that his job is fulfilled, he's still loved. That's what happens when you bring a child into your family with a job to do. That's a bit too much to put on a small child.

mediddly

I've known families in this situation and it can be hard. You need to assure both children that you love them equally and that fate (or god) sent them both to be with you, they just took different paths.

And if your adopted child was an only child, this could be normal sibling jealousy. They're afraid that they won't be your baby anymore because this new kid has come in and taken all your attention. I suggest looking for a good parenting book that addresses this.

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