A person used adoption to be my friend?

My husband and I have never been able to have children. Recently, a lady I worked with told me she had a friend that was giving her child up for adoption and wondered if we would be interested. Of course we were. About three weeks later, she called to tell me that the baby was over and would I like to see her. I broke all speed limits to get there, only to find out that the people who have her now, have no intention nor ever had any intention on giving the baby up. I cried all the way home. Not only for myself and my husbands "loss", but for the humiliation that our encounter had brought. She has still been calling, and I am troubled with the feelings that I am experiancing toward her. I truly feel that her only intention with this offer was to try and gain access to a friendship.
Additional Details
In answer to one of your questions. My "daugher" is a step-daugher. Please forgive me for not being more clear on that. She is very important to me and besides that her really mom is a turd.

Diane D

YOU NEED TO TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL ! BECAUSE THEN THAT WAY YOU CAN GET IT OUT IN THE OPEN AND SHE SHOULD BE TOLD HOW SHE HAS MADE YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND FEEL....POEPLE LIKE THAT TAKE AVENGAGE OF THE GOOD POEPLE IN THE WORLD!!! DONT LET HER DISCOURAGE YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND ...ME AND MY HUSBAND ARE WANTING TO ADOPT AND THAT SCARES ME THAT THERE ARE PEOPLE OUT THERE THAT WOULD PLAY ON PEOPLES FEELINGS!! GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR SEARCH AND FINDING THAT SPECIAL LITTLE ANGEL(S)

Doodlestuff

I don't know why you need to ask this question. The next time she calls, tell her that she lied causing untold pain and do not call again. Then hang up.

madmax

Either that, or she is sadistic. You should sever your 'friendship' with this sick cruel woman, and get some counseling. Avoid this woman at work, if possible. You should be civil to her, but do not socialize with her. Someone you know casually at work is not the ideal person to be sharing your personal travails with. The next time this woman calls you, tell her how you feel about what she did to you, tell her you have no desire to be friends, and that she needs to stop calling you, or you will report her to your HR manager at work.

You need to go to a reputable adoption agency if you truly want to adopt a child.

twinsisterwendy

Report this lady to the police. I find it highly questionable that she offers you a child for adoption when the child is not even up for adoption. There is something fishy here.

K Ditty

Thats horrible to put you through that. She obviously wouldn't make a very good friend.

talkztoomuch

what a ***** ive heard srorrys like this befour and its so sad, just be happy it didnt go any further

Sunshine

That is terrible l!!

You should talk to her and make it clear you do not like or approve the way she behaved and that you are not interested in having any kind of contact with her since she, intentionally, hurt your feelings. You simply can not trust her anymore.

wigandw

your other question says that you do have a daughter. sup?

magic pointe shoes

Never mind this lady... what were *you* thinking?!?

Did you ever meet with these expecting parents? Have you ever been through the homestudy process? Did you even have legal representation? Did the expectant parents? Was there counseling involved?

Seriously. Adoption is serious business. Not only are you risking your own emotions, you are also risking your future child's emotions, and your child's family of origin's emotions. You have a responsibility to go in as ethically as possible.

Edit to add:
http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/publications/2007_01_Birthparent_Study_All.pdf

Please read that pdf.

I am so sorry you had to learn all of this the hard way though.

Virginia J

>You need to tell this Joker, to Hit the Road Jack, put her phone number, her smoke signalllllllllll and anything else she uses to connect with you. She doesn't deserve you or husband's friendship or extension of concern for her. You need to put her name in your Black Book, don't look back. take a deep breath and thank your lucky stars you have me to tell you, straight up. This is from NumbZZZZZZZ, I know!!!!

I cant imagine the pain that she put you through I think that the next time she calls that you should have a serious conversation with her and ask her why she would do something like that, but I dont think she is capable of being a friend she obviously does not have the morals that you do.

ladyellei

What a sick ****.

I would not accept her calls. If she doesn't get your ignoring her, just tell her, she is not welcome in your life anymore.

Sometimes it helps to write a letter to that person, but do not send it. You just need to get it off your chest.

theman134

God does things for reasons- beyond our understanding.

Trust, pray and keep searching for your child- they will come...

pineapplebabe23

i feel for you. she could have done it because she is lonely maybe you should give her one only single last chance you never know, it could be a begining of a beautiful friendship from yhis last chance you can juge weather this is her intention or weater it is not and it is because she is heartless. all my good luck and wishes

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