A pregnant woman is confused and wants to research her options, she goes to an adoption agency and?

sunny

I think it's like walking into a car dealership with a bad credit rating--only the strongest can come out without being talked into something they don't need.

There are people at both places who have sales goals to meet.

Lori A

Let the subtle tactics begin.

IDK!!

Oh, I think as soon as she walks in the door, she's GOLD. She is smothered with pats on the back and "atta girls" for being so selfless,

grapesgum

Does the adoption agency make money if she decides to keep her baby? Need I say more?

Some of the tactics are not all that subtle. Unfortunately, they are applied on young women who have no other viable option as she may have been kicked out of her home by her parents or boyfriend or husband.

ETA - What lou said - exactly.

Shannon T

l have to agree with: Let the subtle tactics began. They're basically wolves preying on unsuspecting sheep.

Flying Monkey #073177

Let the subtle (and not so subtle) tactics begin.

â™¥â™¥Mum To Superkidsâ™¥â™¥

Well, an adoption agency exists for one purpose. To make a financial profit off babies placed for adoption. They say adoption, I say human trafficking.

It's like saying you go into a supermarket for them to talk you out of buying something.

kitta

Adoption agencies claim to offer unbiased options counseling. But since their business depends on payments from paps, not from mothers who keep their children, it is pretty obvious what sort of counseling will likely be provided.

And no one checks up on them, to observe their counseling methods.

Tactics which are used to gain the confidence of pregnant women include the use of counselors who claim to have surrendered children themselves. These ''happy birthmoms" tell the pregnant mothers that they will be doing the right thing if they surrender their children to a " loving couple." These counselors say, "I did it this brave deed and you can too.Your child will thank you."

These counselors are trained to convince mothers to "think first of the child, and to believe that adoption is best".If the mother starts to falter, the counselor tells her to remember her earlier resolve to do what is 'best" for the baby..adoption!!The counselor will ask the mother how she can deny her child what the adopters can give, the assumption being that they are so perfect and so much better in every way.
Better than she is, better than the average person, better because the agency has carefully screened them.

Adoption agencies will not tell a mother that adoption can actually harm a child

magic pointe shoes

Nah, she's already been screwed with coercion wise by the time she gets to either calling or visiting the agency. Enough people have told her that adoption would be the loving choice. Enough people have told her to think of all those waiting families desperate to parent a wanted baby. Enough people have told her enough times that she isn't good enough for her child.

Odds are that she didn't go to a phone book to pick an agency. Odds are that she went with someone who presented her with the agency they used to adopt from, or based on a Dear Birthmother letter that shouldn't have even been seen by her until she got proper unbiased counseling. Odds are she's heard about all those cruel birthmothers who changed their mind and took that baby back that should have been kept with the adoptive parents.

By the time an expectant mother contacts an adoption agency or private adoption lawyer, there have been so many people dogging on that woman to talk her out of her own abilities, and trying to railroad every choice that needs to be made, that the adoption agencies have a fairly easy job. They stay positive and loving. They tell the expectant mother of all the things that she gets to decide on to make the decision easier to make. Every choice is loving and caring and respectful. There is no drama and absolutely no rocking the boat when it comes to that expectant mother/prospective birthmother. Because things like informed choice, respecting the gravity of the situation, coercion free decisions, or actual counseling that reflects the needs of the people involved with take that step in the wrong direction of possibly scaring away a woman who should give her child away. Because that is the common thought, if a woman should consider adoption than she really wasn't really fit to parent her child anyway.

I dunno. Domestic infant adoption practices frustrate me to no end. But even worse than what they do is the denial by others that such atrocities exist.

Camira B

Exactly what Andraya said.

kateiskate

Obviously subtle tactics. After all, they are in the business of adoption. They aren't there to help first moms. They're there to help PAPs adopt.

Ashley

let her have all the info she wants so she can decide for herself its no ones chose except her own and its the hardest thing she will ever do so dont make her feel worse in the process

mama

I think private adoption agency's which deal with yet to be born newborns will not be objective. They have customers waiting for their product.
However, I think if a woman went to a public social services office she would be be given objective information and she may even be given options that she did not even realize existed so that if she chose she could properly raise her child.

Carnie C

No one should get their information from just one place. I'm sure she's also looking on the internet for varying POV's like shown here on Y!A as well as other areas.

I won't even buy a car without looking at several different resources-- I'm not just relying on my salesperson. And that's not even nearly close to a life changing decision like relinquishing.

Anytime you're making a big decision, you need to do your research and look around.

eta: fair enough freckle....sometimes i see loaded questions and I think *ugh* but fair enough you were looking for real answers :)

AdoreHim

I know for sure that a woman that goes to an adoption attorney does. At least the adoption att. that my husband and I used when we adopted our 2 children. Both of the birth moms were offered counseling to make VERY sure adoption was for them. About going to adoption agency and not getting strings attached? How about a woman that goes to planned parenthood, they give no adoption info at all. how do I know? Because a friend of mine called and they told her they had no adoption info to give her. So is that fair either?

EDIT- there is - pregnancy help clinics will tell all side of the story- the truth about abortion, adoption and parenting

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