ADOPTION: My husband and I met a young woman who just learned she's pregnant and doesn't want the baby...?

She's 23 and already has 2 kids and has had 2 abortions. She does not want this baby and doesn't want to have any more abortions. My husband and I are mid 30-ish and(due to minor health problems) are unable to conceive. I don't know this girl personally. I teach at a college and she's a student but not in any of my classes. I felt this was an opportunity I couldn't pass up and asked her if she would carry the baby full term and sign over her parental rights to me. She spoke with the biological father and without hesitation, they both said yes. I wanted to know what else needs to be done? We have a lawyer and would definitely have this thing done legally but what other things should I know or be aware of in this process? I live in Florida BTW...
Additional Details
Is it okay to ask her personal questions like if she uses drugs, does she have health problems. I don't think the lawyer will ask about these sorts of things.

Heather Leigh

I guess I am confused. Did you actually walk up to this pregnant woman, a virtual stranger, and asked her if you could adopt her baby?

ETA: Wow, just wow... I can only imagine how that conversation went. "Hi, my name is SmartyPants. I feel my husband and I are better than you, so will you give us your baby?"

I honestly think you are abusing your position to troll for a baby to adopt. Your way of going about this is anything but ethical. And I have to wonder how your employer would feel about it.

myst1998

You say she has only just found out she is pregnant? Why don't you wait until AFTER the baby is born to see if she still wants to place the baby. Trying to get her to commit to making an adoption plan so early on is just unkind and unfair.

I get that she has already got two kids and had two abortions but that doesn't mean she is ripe to give away her next child. What she really needs is some counselling and proper birth control.

astrud

Honestly, your lawyer should know everything that needs to been done to make the adoption legitimate.

Cam

An adoption attorney should be able to facilitate all of the necessary steps.

First you'll need to pass an adoption home study by a licensed social worker. That process can take a few months.

I'd also make sure that both you and your husband and the natural mother/father seek separate counseling. There are many things to consider when raising an adopted child.

The natural family needs separate legal counsel as well to make certain they are aware of their rights.

For the benefit of the child it is totally ok to ask them personal questions. I would also get pictures of them because most likely the child, when grown, will want to know who they are.

Anha S

And people don't believe this kind of thing happens. You actually walked up to someone you didn't know and wrangled a baby out of them. Thats atrocious. Complete abuse of power, I don't care how many "less fortunate women who abort their babies" come across your path, imo, you overstepped and took advantage. Its stuff like this that makes me worry for young disadvantaged pregnant women these days, there are obviously vultures just waiting to nab a piece.

MarlyC

Congratulations on your potential match. If you have a good adoption lawyer s/he should be able to act as facilitator and do all the work in screening this potential birthmom - asking for personal and family medical history, questions about substance/alcohol abuse, arranging for counseling etc. That's what they get paid to do, not just legal paperwork. If that's not the case, I'd say find a different attorney.

To your question about things to be aware of - be careful about expenses. Be clear with your lawyer how much (if any) expenses you are willing to pay to the expectant mother. Since there is always a chance the adoption could fall through, you want to ensure you are not paying too much in case you need to try again after this one. I hope not - but it happened to me and we paid for so many expenses that we are broke now and need to save to try again.

Good luck to you and I hope this works out great for everyone!!

Ethical Living

One Thing i want to tell you is, You are soo nice, blessed, there is somekind of feeling in my heart now, I wish you have that baby soon... Carry on, God bless the little one!

Take care of her,, YOU WILL DEFINITELY!

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