ADOPTION..any advice?

Heather B

Please don't give your baby away to strangers; particularly those soliciting expectant mothers over the internet! Your Baby wants his/her Mommy - that's you.

Here's a booklet written by women who've walked in your shoes entitled "What You Should Know if You're Considering Adoption for your Baby":
http://www.cubirthparents.org/edd/index.php?id=1

Yes, the father has to consent.

Zuko

Britney C is actually full of crap. Yes you CAN change your mind after birth. Because no papers are signed until that child is born.

However, if the agency or PAP's paid for medical expenses and such, you are required to pay that back.

Technically, you DO need the father's consent. Women do find ways around this however. If you list the father as 'unknown' then there are steps you are required to follow to find him. Talk to a lawyer.

If, at any point, you think you'll regret relinquishing a child, don't do it. It's a permanent choice. You can't change your mind once you relinquish.

Serenity71

Heather; That booklet you recommended is well written. Good advice in it for women. Good for adoptive parents (or future) to read as well. Its the best I have seen from a birth mothers prospective. (Without condemnation or high emotions dominating it.)

Meand. A birth mother in another question gave a very good answer to why she chose adoption. (Not to say this is what you will do, you might find a way of keeping your baby once you get over this initial shock of finding you're pregnant. I hope you do.) Very mature for her age at time she chose that course to think of all those things that she spoke of.

I'm just not sure which one it was at the moment. Hopefully she'll see your question. If I remember I'll edit and direct you to it.

Jennifer L

Unless you can prove the father is unfit, he must consent to the adoption. Fathers do have the right to raise their children, though sadly, their rights are often pushed aside.

You are only 4 months along, so you have a lot of time to look at options and resources before deciding what you want to do. In fact, you do not have to make a decision until after the baby is born.

Use this time to take inventory of your support and your resources. I recommend counseling independent of an adoption agency to help you look at your options. Young parents can also be good parents. There are plenty of options and resources available to help you parent your child.

Please research adoption thoroughly. Know your rights and know the laws. Avoid the trap of feeling as though you owe it to some other couple to provide them a baby. You don't. You owe it to yourself and your baby to make the best decision for both of you.

Ultimately, you are the only one who can determine what is the right thing to do and I really try avoiding telling people what to do on these kinds of forums. But please take the time to make an informed decision.

Best of luck.

Demi

I don't know anything about adoption, but I know there are places where you can give them your baby after is born and they will put him up for adoption. You can only do this as a last resource and only if you are sure that you don't want to keep the baby but I believe starting adoption procedures now is better, I believe you can Always say no once the baby is born but then you have to be responsible for all the cost. Go to a local Catholic charity or a hospital and get informed on all the options available for you. Good Luck to you and the baby!

Rosa G

how old are you? and were are you?if you are think about adoption your baby out, it's up to you and have you talk to the father of the baby?l am a mother of 7 sons and l give one of my baby's up for adoption it was up to myself to do so
l was just 14 years old and l need my schooling. but think about it all gets hard.

Britt

If you do not think you will be able to support it, i advise putting it up. You can find a way to choose a specific couple i think, that way you dont wonder if your baby is safe.
If you choose to, you must go through with it. You cannot hold the baby after birth and decide, he is apart of me and i want to keep him, You must go through with it if you decide to .
Good luck!!

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