ALL about foster care?

Mother of Many

Your mind set, be open, ready for the unexpected, on your toes. It can take months or years, and it will be stressful at times, but the good times and happy memories you will share with a foster child and your own children will outweigh the stress of the foster care - adopt system. Patience is required for sure. Good luck and I hope you do choose to adopt from foster care, its the best way, and in my opinion it should be the ONLY WAY.

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

Yes, many foster parents have fostered small children and then later go on to adopt. I just cannot stress enough that the goal of children in foster care whose parental rights are still intact is to return to their parents......Only after TPR does that goal shift to adoption. When parents are still involved it is much easier on everyone if you keep that in mind because you may have to meet the natural parents and you may have to talk to them and you may have to take instruction from them on their child's likes and dislikes and then you may have to pack up their belongings and send them back home. When it goes smoothly, for the most part, it is a rewarding experience to see a child and their mom and/or dad regain themselves and go back home together...but it is not always roses.

Adoption is secondary.....

sweetjane

We are fostering a 20 month old--waiting to adopt. Most states have two seperate programs--foster care and foster-to-adopt. If you are going just for fostering right now, then your process will be involved, but less intense and will generally take less time...especially if you are open to all types of children. It is always stressful to some degree--an upheaval of sorts. I would prepare your other children and talk with them often. Make sure they are all on board. You will need room for this child...space for him to play. If you want to eventually adopt, it can take months up to 2-3 years. You would have temporary guardianship, but the parents rights are not yet terminated in most cases....and that takes time and allows them the chance to get their lives together. It is a 'risk' that you become attached to the child and he would return home to his parents. But, their first parents are always the best possible option. Most states only place foster-to-adopt children when their parents have a HIGH probability of losing or surrendering their rights....i.e. not visiting with child for months, abuse, severe neglect, etc. Straight foster care is for the children that they are trying to return to their parents. It takes wonderful people to do this job. It is hard, it is stressful, and it is often emotional....but you would be providing a vital service for a family that simply needs to get their lives back in order. I won't say it is easy at all....it isn't.....but it is wonderful work and absolutely vital to the many parents who need specialized care, treatment, parenting courses, etc. and to their children that need a safe place to live and a wonderful family that provides them love and encouragement along the way.

leila

Fostering is a lot of work it takes a special person to work with the state and the biological parents. Most people are not that special, hence the reason is why everyone is against it. These children come from a background of abuse, neglect and medical conditions resulting from inutero exposure to drugs, and psychological issues from trauma and abuse. These children can be aggressive and sometimes lack boundaries ie you put them to bed and they wake up in the middle of the night and clean out your cupboards, jump on the bed or hurt your bio child. If you are prepared to be calm, consistant, handle any behaviors that arise, bring the child to all of their medical, therapeutic appts like O.T., P.T. and speech and psychological appts, work closely with the bio parents towards reunification and be the back up if that doesn't workout, then you would be great. But that is what you have to be prepared for and as I said most people are not that committed to other peoples children.

the lord hears all my cry's

umm well i was in foster care for 3 years and hade a baby and well she was adopted but i say its great when there little its a real joy and if they stay with you long enough they grow on you like your own baby it is hard being in the system babys need a second chance im glad you can see that

Mom to Foster Children

We have done foster care now for 2 1/2 years and the youngest that we have had placed with us was 6 months old at the time and he is now 2 1/2 and still with us. The oldest child we had placed with us had just turned 4 and he is also still with us.

Now about how long it takes to adopt from foster care - if the rights of the parents have been terminted then the whole process can take about 1 year, depending on how long it takes you to get a court date.

The goal with foster care is to reunify children with their natural parents - adoption is not even in the picture yet if there is still a case plan to follow and the parents are attempting to follow it. Adoption doesn't come into the picture until the rights have been terminated (this can take years) and the child is deemed by the judge available for adoption.

The 2 year old that we have was pulled from one parent - lived in foster care for 1 1/2 and sent home to the other parent and was pulled again. He is expected to go back home to the parent that he was placed with.

The almost 7 year old that we have has been with us since March of 06 and has been in foster Care since Nov of 03 (5 years). We will be adopting him this month.

You need to have an open mind and a huge heart that will be broken many times. Not necessarily by the child who is placed with you but it could be because they are upset / they miss their mommies / missed visits...etc. These children have gone through more in their lives already than you have.

I suggest you do a lot of reading and listening to not only "foster parents" / "case workers" / but also first mothers / adoptees...listen to everyone and get a good grip on what you are about to take on.

wifeandmom

I would start out looking and seeing if you want to go through foster care or go straight for adoption. Here are some resources if you are wanting to go through adoption only. There is a heart Gallery in your state that travels and shows pics of children waiting for an adoptive family. For your age range they might not have very many children. You could also go to the www.adoptuskids.com. It is a website for the whole united states of children up for adoption. You could also go through the classes and then have your adoption specialist put out what you are looking for in a child and then she will get responses from workers all over when they have a child meeting your characteristics. (yes I know this is horrible but they do it). You could also get to know foster parents in your county that might have children who are coming up on a TPR and may be able to let you know who to contact if you are interested in adopting that child. But remember if a foster parent has a child for a certain amount of time they get first choice on that child. That is why it seems to me that adoptive parents wanting babies foster first. That is how many foster parents adopt a child they have had since birth. I hope this helps and please everyone be nice to me. I am just giving resources. I am not saying this is how I did it.

Cindy

My grandmother had them. They younger the better! Trust!

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