APs: If you have more than 1 adopted child, do you have more info on one than the other?

Particularly regarding the first family. If so, how do you handle it? How do your children handle it?

As we are in the adoption process once again, but this time through foster care, we realize that our second child will come with a lot of info, including first family info and perhaps even the opportunity for contact. Which of course is a painfully stark contrast to our daughter from China who came with nothing, not even a name (she was named by the orphanage). I am anxious about what that will mean for her. How she will process that. I am probably going into over-thinking mode, but I am also saddened that it might build resentments between the siblings, i.e. my brother or sister has all this and I have nothing.

This question is also obviously for adoptees. Did you have siblings who were also adopted and had more info or perhaps contact with their first famiy when you did not. How did you feel/handle that?

And as always, this question is open to anyone with valid insight.
Additional Details
Bob, that's exactly what we have too. Not much sadly.

â–ºBobBâ—„

both girls from China. All we have are the social welfare agency records. Basically, where they were found, approx date of birth, guessed by the agency doctor, a copy of the ad they placed in the newspaper, and medical records.
The only name we have is the one the social welfare agency gave them.

Jules2u

We are in the same boat. We have a son from China with very little background info....as well as a daughter from the USA with tons of info (and contact with her bio family). I made each of them a lifebook (scrapbook) of all the info and photos I have from their younger years. There's nothing I can do to really make things "fair" for them...but in a way, I think it will help show them how life doesn't always play out the way we hope. All I can do for them is to love them and give them a good sense of who they are in my eyes....truly loved little individuals who never cease to amaze me with their uniqueness!

soccer rules!

well me and my brother are both adopted from the US. different states but same adoption agency (Catholic Socail Services i believe). I have less info than my brother (possibly because he came from around here while i was born in Iowa). but (this really has nothing to do with the question but i like to tell this story) my brothers birth-mom filled out around half the paperwork, the pretty mutch dissapeared for 3 weeks! when she did return to finish the paperwork i suppose she gave more info than my birth mom did. we never really fight about who has more info, if thats what your worried about. neither of us have contact with our boi-fams. i really dont feel any different than my brother, even tho he has more info. i suppose in my mind, we are in the same boat, no matter what.

my best friend's family has 4 adopted kids, each with different ammounts of info. i know that some of them have contact (Christmas cards ect) and others dont. they still are fine with some knowing more than others!

dont worry about info on bio-fams! no matter what they are YOUR kids now and both adopted.

Hope this helps!!!

Katie

I adopted both of my children at the same time and have some information but not a lot. We adopted them from Russia so family contact is not a possiblity. We plan on telling the children that we love them and wanted to give them a better life than the one they had in the orphanage. As they get older we'll share what we know as it is appropriate.

I'm sure I'll get the thumbs down for this answer but what matters most is the life you give them, that you love them and care for them and cherish them. Answer their questions as best as you can. Don't make an issue out of the fact you have more bio info on one than the other. You love them, they are your children. That's what matters most.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: