Abortion is better than adoption?

Heaven L

I think abortion is way better than adoption. Everyone seems to think adoption is some fairy tale world with a bunch of loving people waiting to adopt. NOT. Children that grow up in foster homes grow up with mental issues, insecurity..not to mention the physical and mental abuse they suffer bouncing from home to home. Alot of them end up commiting suicide. Why bring a child into the world to suffer.. get rid of it while its an embryo, it cant feel ,think, or suffer. I think that all pro lifers should be forced to adopt at least 1 child, amongst the many millions that are up for adoption. Lets see how many of them will still be pro life then.

tickled blue

I don't care what you do with your womb....your decision.
Abortion, in general, is not a solution to adoption.
My 'little black boy' found a home, and I am thankful that he was not aborted.

<<adoptive mommy through foster care

Andraya

Yes.

Steve K.

Well, if that's the way you put it, I'm pro-life, and I've always intended to adopt more than one child. If that's your criteria, then I guess that I'm qualified to say this:

There is a 5-year waiting list for babies. If you are in a crisis pregnancy, then you will have NO PROBLEM finding a good family. And you can afford to be choosy about who adopts your child. You can ensure they go to an excellent loving home.

It is a shame that millions of cats and dogs are destroyed every year because they are unwanted. What's a bigger shame is that millions of babies are destroyed every year when there is a FIVE YEAR WAITING LIST FOR THEM!

Choose LIFE. It ROCKS!

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

I totally agree with you!

candlemaker101751

i have been on both sides of this fence. i do believe in abortion, i also have given babies up for adoption when i went to try and have an abortion and they told me i was too far along. it was just that there were 2 babies and it made me look too far along.
i think too many people are having kids when they shouldnt be. i think we should be like china and have a one child limit. too many people on welfare these days

Morecambe, not Dennis Wise

There are a lot of very one sided views on this. I've seen both sides of the coin and to be honest both need to be available in society. As the song goes, you can't have one without the other.
I'm not going to mention my views as I will get jumped down for them. All I will say is that we could all do with a bit more tolerance.

stormytexxxas

i was adopted to a wonderful couple who were unable to have children of thier own. they later adopted a boy. i grew up with every comfort a kid could hope for, including a college education!! i had a gorgeous daughter, who is 25 now and has a terrific husband, they just bought a new house. have given me 2 amazing grand children. i just bought the coolest brand new travel trailer...compliments of my adoptive mom, and she also bought my adoptive brother a brand new truck. NO SHES NOT RICH!!! she sacrificed her own retirement for us, by cashing in her coca-cola stocks, and took out a reverse mortgage on her home, that WAS paid for. my grand son is going into the 1st grade, and we are soooo excited for him!! (he loved kindergarden), and my grand daughter looks just like me. she is my angel. she has fire in her eyes and i know she will do so well with the men when she gets older because she already knows how to flirt so well!!
we never wanted for anything growing up, wether it was a new stereo, 10 speed bike, (since they didnt have mountian bikes back then), a car, transmission, etc etc etc....
i have traveled all over the country and seen some incredible places, met tons of people, including famous folks who have become 'friends' for many years now, i have made alot of money, and spoiled my own daughter rotten, and now, i spoil my grand kids to pieces, and every day isnt complete until i hear thier voices on the phone say "i love u nana".

but if my birth mom would have kept me, i probably wouldnt have had nearly the life i did, growing up, OR growing old.

if she would have aborted me, well.........
zzzzzuuuuurrrrpppppppppp, (u know that sound when u scratch a record)
and then erase everything i just wrote

those 'fairy tales of people who cant wait to adopt a child and give it a wonderful life" DO EXIST!!!!!!! I AM LIVING PROOF, AND SO IS MY BROTHER!!! the ONLY thing that i wish i had was some family medical history, and maybe some pictures, and contact with my sibling i know existed when i was born!!!

i think girls who do not use protection before they r ready to have a child r not just irresponsible, but down right foolish!!! would u want to live the rest of ur life as an AIDS patient, swallowing handfuls of pills that make u so sick u can barely lift ur head, and hoping u survive thru the winter??!!!!

THINK ABOUT IT!!

Stormytexxxas

rwwar<33

i think tht whatever you feel lis right for you and you baby is the right thing
foster homes can really mess up kids tho
and theres already so many kids who do need help
but i cant choose which wich i would do because i havnt been thru a pregnancy or anything like tht

sk8ermom

Melissa, great job. This "question" has so many things wrong with it. I see another girl arguing with you but she is in the UK. We have 2 totally different realities. sometimes I wish the question posters would state their country so we can give them more accurate answers.
How anyone thinks that killing their child is better than letting someone else raise it is beyond me. Sure there is a chance they will feel different in the family. There may even be an insensitive comment or two throughout their lives but if the alternative is to kill them...Holy crap! I guess because I have children I can't picture being so hatefull and evil as to just kill one of them because they are not convienent. I feel like crying reading some of these answers. This world is so cold and selfish.

Look at all the thumbs down for people not wanting a baby dead! (?) I bet all those are from the adoption haters that are always on their soap boxes complaining that "AP's are selfish and don't think of the children". Now I see what you think about the children! You should be ashamed! My sorrow for you and my prayers.....well, maybe I shouldn't waste my time anymore.

emily

abortion is never ok!
see, im adopted, which really increases my hatred torward abortion. because i know that i could have easily been an abortion child.. but my birth mom chose to give me life, and a family. abortion is murder! please dont think abortion is ok! its not! please, choose adoption!

Vicki D

I think it is up to each woman to decide what is right for her. I think for some women, abortion is the best option.

With some of my friends who were adopted, they wanted to find their birth mothers. When they did it was painful for everyone involved. The kids were upset that mom gave them up. Mom was upset because she thought her responsibility was over when she gave the baby up for adoption, and the adoptive parents felt rejected.

Crystal Rolen

Every child deserves a chance of life. Evenif they have a rough childhood, they can still amount to be a great person. Abortion is never the answer. There are people who cant have kids who would love one.

Ally A

How can you think that killing a baby can be bettter than adoption? Please do some research on what the baby's go through during a abortion even if they are only 6-8 weeks pregnant. Just make sure you are fully informed before you make such a decision you will most likely regret the rest of your life. Remember the story of the woman that was having surgery in her abdomen area and was pregnant....the baby reached it's hand out to the doctors finger. It was all over the news. Check it out. That is a real baby...not just a fetus that is unaware.

AdoreHim

I wish that I had never read this question, and comment, because this subject is very close to my heart. First of all, it is sad that some children will go from foster care to foster care. However, that will never make abortion ok. So are you saying that it would be ok to murder one of those kids already born, because they will never find a home? Of course, not, so how can you ever say that adoption is worse than abortion.
If you ever got pregnant when you were not wanting too, I would pray that you would decide to parent , because I would not want to hear that you are one of those 4,000 women a day in America that have aborted their babies. By the way, not all "adopted" children are in foster care and bounced around.
Why am I so emotional and passionate about this subject? Because out of the 4 people in my immediate family, 3 of us have been adopted. I was adopted 50 years ago, then my hubby and I have 2 adopted children. Our 2 children's birth moms were actually told that it would be better to abort them. Guess what? I AM VERY THANKFUL FOR MY LIFE, AND THE LIFE OF MY 2 CHILDREN. And about abortion, it is not the easy way out, believe me. It can hurt you physically, and emotionally. What if your mom had aborted you?

StacieG

I think there are enough families that want to adopt a baby that really don't make race an issue (and if a family does make race an issue, they're not a good candidate for adopting a child of a different race, imho). I know several families who've adopted children (infants and older children) of color and have a multi-racial family. One couple I know of is as white as they come and they have three black or bi-racial kids (one is bi-racial, the other two are black) two boys & a girl. Another couple is extremely white, too, had two bio kids and adopted a black boy. I could go on with other examples just from my own friends, but I won't. We adopted two Hispanic girls and we're white.

The black boys who tend to bounce around from foster home to foster home are, sadly, generally the ones who have been removed from abusive or neglectful homes by the state. ANY older child is a "special needs" adoption because there don't tend to be as many waiting families as waiting children when it comes to kids toddlers and above. The statistics get worse when the child gets older - school age and beyond. It's nearly impossible to place a teen in an adoptive home and finding them foster homes is even difficult. This is regardless of race. However, you are right, when it comes to older kids (and even infants, I'm betting) race tends to be an issue. I don't care what color my kids are - they're just my kids.

One of the problems is that there don't tend to be as many adoptive black families as adoptive white families (I saw the statistic somewhere but can't remember where and can't remember what it is). I personally know of several dozen adoptive families & can point to two of those that have black parents. I'm not sure what the deal is there, but I wish it weren't a fact.

Another problem is racism - either in the actual adoptive family (people not wanting to raise a black child) or in the community (parents worried about the child encountering racism being raised by white parents). Another issue that parents can and do consider is whether or not it is in the best interest of the child to be raised by a white family - can the parents make connections with black people for the child, can the parents make connections with other multi-racial families for the child? These are concerns and they should be. Parents adopting a child of another race have to be careful to always consider the child's needs.

Now...about the pro-lifers adopting. I'm pro-life & I've adopted two children. We're probably not done adopting yet. I agree that people who stand for pro-life values should be part of the solution either in adopting, helping a young mother keep her child or in another way.

MomMom

I completely agree.

Sophie

OMG! You said, you couldn't imagine your kid "...getting talked down to, possibly beat & messed up for life..." but you'd rather kill it by ripping the baby apart limb by limb? Every child deserves the right to live.

Meagan G

Abortion is MURDER. Those babies are alive as soon as those cells separate. If you are so worried about the child, then obviously you have enough love to want to keep it. Babies should never be murdered.

Roberta

There are so many different types of adoption that sometimes I think it gets confusing for some people. Infant adoption these days usually takes place when the parents decide during pregnancy or even soon after birth that they can not parent their child like they want their child parented. In infant adoption the birth parents choose the adoptive parents, develop a relationship with them and can also choose to either have an open, closed, or semi open adoption. Open adoptions are not co parenting but rather extended family like situations. I have seen these develop very successfully. Again though it is the choice of the birth parents. By the way, the average age of birth moms is approximately 25 years old here in my state. Most teen moms parent. When women mature they are able to see outside of their own reflection and needs. Infant adoption is not easy, but oh my goodness it is the most loving option and it is a parenting decision.

There is also International Adoption which is quite time consuming, complicated, and costly, but so incredibly rewarding.

There is also Fos-Adoption. This is where children who have been abandoned, neglected, or abused are placed in foster care. Often times they are in foster care for many years while the system tries to reunite them with their parents. If parental rights are terminated then a foster child is open for adoption. The emotional ups and downs of this can cause great turmoil for the children and in turn they naturally act out their insecurities with misbehaviors...sometimes very damaging behaviors depending on their hurts. The lack of support both emotionally and financially, for foster parents in the system can leave them ill equipped to deal with the mounting behavioral problems and children can end up moving from place to place.

My husband and I have been therapeutic foster parents for over 13 years. Which means we deal with the tougher kids. We have one adopted son who came to us at age 6 after being abused (and almost drowned, choked to death etc.) by a mentally ill mother, placed with a family member and abused, and neglected by his father. We had him for 3 years while they tried to reunify him with his birth parents and subjected him to more abuses and hurt. Our son has come a long ways he is an amazing young man.

My brother, sister, and I are bio sibs who were placed for adoption by our birth father who chose our parents back in 1960....Closest to an open adoption as can be for the time period.

Abortion, people think it is a quick answer that gets rid of a "problem". I personally can tell you it is a life long sentence that will keep you wrapped in guilt. It's horrific and it takes a significant amount of spiritual work to overcome the hurt.

I think unplanned pregnancy is a tough and emotion filled topic. However, being where I have been: adoptee, adoptive parent, foster parent, and a pregnancy, parenting & adoption therapist, I am personally comitted to the love and care of children and abortion is not that.

**Just want to add on here, You asked for those who have adopted at least one child to then give you our protest so I did. AND I adopted a child who had been abused by a parent who selfishly wanted to own this child rather than place him from the beginning with a loving family. He has permanent scars from it. I am glad she did not have an abortion, because if she had I would not have the fabulous and talented son that I have today. I HATE what she did to my son though.

I speak from personal experience with abortion (years of self hatred and grief) and adoption (years of dedication and love). I AM PRO CHILDREN, which means I have to be PRO LIFE.

Melissa G

You have an antiquated view of adoption... And, many of your "facts" are just plain wrong.

* Black boys are adopted every day.
* Children that are not adopted and "go on unwanted" are often not even "available" for adoption. Or, could have been adopted earlier in their lives if their parents would have allowed it.
* Adopting families have to go through rigorous background checks. You don't have to to get pregnant.
* Adoption doesn't mean a kid goes from "family to family". Adoption is permanent -- not like foster.

Open adoption is a blessing for everyone.

Grow up, learn about adoption, and educate yourself before you make assumptions and statements as if they are fact.

CELTIC P:
I think you are misunderstanding my point. I agree that I would never put a child "in the system". BUT... with open, private adoption, it is permanent and your child doesn't go into the system. Children who are voluntarily placed in foster care are typically not available for adoption for many years -- but a mother can make an adoption plan any time and insure her child finds a home.

I am sorry for your situation, but adoption IS a blessing, far more than taking an innocent life through abortion for convenience sake.

Clare S

I am strongly against abortion, you don't even give the poor kid a chance! If many families aborted then a lot that we have now we might not of had! For example:

if albert einstein was aborted then we would be living in the dark!

But, I do wish more people were up to adopt childeren for other countries.

Lilly R

Adoptions better 100%.
I love your reference to unwanted black boys who will never find a home. =
Nice.
If you do find a couple for your child, this is where lawyers and social workers come in for interviews, background checks and so on and so forth.
Your child would not be "wondering" through life nor jumping from family to family. Adoption = permanent home. Why would they be talked down to? They're a normal child just like anyone else. Why would they be beat or messed up?
So you're saying you wouldn't give your child the chance to live? To be something great? Who knows. That child you aborted may have been the next president of the United States.
You're making all these assumptions.
This is a very controversial topic so I'm prepared for a flood of thumbs down.

Edit:
Look, I didn't mean to start anything. I'm stating my opinion and some facts. Adoption is permanent. Children are NOT bouncing from home to home. That's foster care. How did I turn this into a race issue? I didn't say anything but repeat what you wrote.

im worried about my sister

no its not better but kids that are in foster home attend to feel angry and unwanted because they have no idea what they did to deserve this but if i was to ever become pregnant im 16 i would have to give it up for adoption in search of a better lyfe then what i could give her ( but if some one was raped and ended up pregnant then i would consider abortion but then its not that babies fault) so it would be adoption is better then abortion)

Chatterbox

My personal opinion: abortion is wrong. You are holding a child's life in your hands. A child should not pay for an individual's total stupidity at not using birth control. I do not believe it is difficult for any healthy child be get adopted. Check your facts. And a young girl should not keep the baby. Adoptive parents are screened, your can have an open adoption to make sure the child is ok. The child would have a much better chance at a good life as adopted than staying with a totally unprepared mother who won't have the ability to support her child. Ugh, I could go on, but just the fact that anyone considers abortion really disgusts me.

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