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Angie
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id hold fire!!!!!!!!!!!!!! im currently expecting my 3rd child, at first i was so sure i didnt want it but also couldnt face abortion so was looking into perhaps having the baby adopted. I just didnt want to loose my life all over again, i lost all maternal instinct, completely went of kids and everytime something went wrong id blame the thing inside me!!
at the 12 week scan my partner looked in awe at the baby on the screen and i didnt feel even just a bit of love, at the 20 week scan i nearly fell asleep i just wasnt bothered and i didnt want the baby. tho at around 24 weeks watching the lil thing squirming round my tummy, getting used to its waking and sleeping patterns and worrying if i hadnt felt movement, i suddenely realised i wanted the baby and never ever would be without it now!! its part of me, i dont know if it was hormones or what but with that i suddenely got all cooey over babies again something i completely lost in the first months.
Please dont do anything until youve had a lot more time to get used to the baby being inside you, wait until you feel it moving, realise its patterns and find your protective hands clasp over your tum. The very last thing you want to do is commit to giving up that baby and feel forced to at the end with an awaiting family there to take it on.
If your feelings havent changed late into the pregnancy then contact them but please dont commit to anything now. i never thought id change my mind as im the least maternal person i know but id rather loose a limb than loose this baby inside of me now......................good luck |
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magic pointe shoes
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Most of the people said to contact when you are certain that is what you want to do. I disagree. You cannot choose adoption before the baby is born. Sure you can make an adoption plan, at the same time making a parenting plan, but you cannot make the actual choice to place your child for adoption until after the baby is born. To say otherwise is coercion.
By all means, make some phone calls and figure out all your options. Here is a pdf file of ideas of making sure your rights aren't trampled as you are considering adoption. |
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Wise Advice
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Make a list of local agencies now. Check their literature and their web sites to see if their policies and their history show that they're reliable and are in line with your own philosophy regarding openness, religion, and ethics. Then just put the list by the phone. One day in the next month or so you'll see it and it will feel like the right day to make the call(s) and ask your questions. You don't have to be, as some answerers have said, SURE about what you want to do--in fact, you probably will not be until after the baby is born. You're in the planning stages. Sooner is better than later, of course, so you don't feel rushed down the line--but remember, the agency and the adoptive parents are responsible for most of the paperwork and jumping through hoops to get ready. You're in an unusual situation, more mature than many potential birth mothers, and the agency counselors will be helpful to talk to about all aspects of this. Follow your heart. Listen to your body. Call when you're ready. |
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slipper
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I'm sorry but I can't understand why you are in the predicament you are in. Surely you have experience and are mature enough to make sure that you do not become pregnant. Perhaps it has something to do with your beliefs but if I were your I would have made sure that I couldn't fall pregnant if I didn't want any more children.
You may be feeling that you don't want this child now but I am so very sure that when you give birth you will feel so differently about it. I'm sure you love your children and would never give them up and it will be the same with this one. If you have no problems with raising the child and being able to give him/her all that he/she needs to live a happy and healthy life then there should be no reason to give the child up for adoption.
Then again this is how I feel and you may have a different outlook on this subject.
Just remember nobody can love a child as much as it's natural mother. |
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emnari
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18 yr commitment ... is this how you really feel about your children?? yes?? then you should call right away ... so that if this something your serious about you can go forward and already think about giving your baby up for adoption. |
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C K Platypus
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You should contact an agency after you've given birth and are no longer on any painkillers that may affect your judgement.
http://www.keepyourbaby.com/articles/BOOKLET.pdf |
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Mandy25
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as soon as you know you want to put the child up for adoption. get it taken care of and the agency will go through the process with you. i contacted an agency about the same time and all i had to do was fill out paperwork and then look for the right couple. |
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lahdh4
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Even if you are not 100% you can start calling agencies and asking questions. It may take awhile to find an agency you are comfortable with. Find one with prebirth counseling, this way you can discuss both parenting and adoption.
Good luck |
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Mnky_Luv
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i say that u should contact ur agency as soon as what u decided to do |
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calgaryjenhere
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Hi Lori, when looking at making an adoption plan it is best to contact them as soon as possible. They will send out forms for you, and they have an interviewing process, then they gather profiles from the potential families for you to see, you can choose the family you like. Then if you are looking for an open adoption, which works wonderfully by the way : ) you will want to establish a relationship with the adopting family,which takes time, and give them time to get there paperwork all in order too. It can be done as a rushed process but it is so much better and more comfortable if done with lots of time. |
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xkristalx
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You can contact them as soon as you are comfortable. There is an agency that I placed through in Texas that does open adoptions. I still see my son and talk with his adoptive family about once a week. The level of involvement is up to the placing mother and the adoptive family she chooses. It is illegal (in Texas atleast) to make a woman sign away the rights for her child prior to birth. If you are considering this option get as informed as you can.
The agency I went through is Abrazo. Their website is abrazo.org |
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Laura E
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Bless you for considering Adoption.. there are so many people out here that want a child and can't have one...I think you should contact a Christian adoption agency right now. They can help you work through the decision with out the pressure to place your child should you change your mind. They offer free counseling and all sorts of other support you might need before and after the adoption.
My prayers are with you on this journey. |
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Lovemykids
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I would call them as soon as you and your husband are 100% sure you want to put the baby up for adoption. |
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Carrie H
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as soon as you are sure this is what you want to do. |
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tgray8104
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As soon as you are sure thats what you want to do. That way you can get in touch with some parents and help choose the one you think is best. Also I dont want to sound mean or rude but if you aren't ready or not willing to have another commitment of a child then maybe one of you should consider being sterile. Tubes tied? Best of luck to your family. |
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charliesgirl1954
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If you seriously are going to give this child up, and I can certainly understand your reasons for doing so, then the best time to contact anyone about it is NOW. Get things set up and in motion.........don't wait until the last moment. Let the adoptive parents be a part of this pregnancy. That will thrill them no end. You are giving them a gift that not just anyone can or would give, and I say................God bless you. |
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versantly
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what a brave and selfless woman you are! let your OB know of your choice. most have infertile patients and can help the process. |
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onerockinmamato2
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I also suggest contacting an agency now because they provide free counseling for women who have unplanned pregnancies. However, they will only help you make an adoption plan if you suggest that it is your wish to do so. Counseling pregnant women is my agencies priority, helping them make adoptions plans come second.
I wish you and your family the best. |
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dmommab@sbcglobal.net
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Honestly I would begin the search now because it may take you a while to find the agency & then the family that matches your wants. A friend of mine who is due in Aug contacted an agency in Feb who led her to believe they could place her baby in a local open adoption with no problem. Now in June they are telling her the only places they have families that are willing to accept biracial babies are New Zealand & Minnesota!!! She is in Ohio & wants an open adoption so neither of those will work. She is now looking for a new agency but sometimes it takes more time than you think it will. Good luck to you! |
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BPD Wife
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I would recommend contacting an agency now - even if you aren't 100% sure that you want to do this. There is typically "no obligation" so you could just learn what types of options are available to help you make a better informed decision.
Good luck to you. |
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stef423
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ASAP. You will want to interview the potential parents and that whole process may take a while. Also, get a lawyer to make sure it is truely an open adoption. |
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sxysalsa
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Soon as possible. Then you'll need to discuss what type of adoption you want and the potential parents usually foot the medical bills so you wont have to worry about being financially strained during your pregnancy. |
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Rebecca
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I agree that you need to decide if adoption is right for you. Once you have decided that it is, you should contact an adoption agency right away. Our agency offers many birthfamily services. You are also able to pick which adoptive family you would like, and how much contact you would like. My name is Rebecca, and my husband and I are unable to have children of our own. There are many other families just like us. Our agency is call Lifetime Adoption, you can contact them via their website www.lifetimeadoption.com or you can call their office 24 hours a day, 1-800-923-6784. They can give you more information, and tell you about the services that they offer to you.
If you would like to know more about us our website is http://www.lifetimeadoption.com/for_birtmothers/families/scott_rebecca/index.html
This is an amazing gift that you could give to a couple, if you feel it is right for your family. You will be in my thoughts.
Rebecca |
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david42
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I suggest the sooner the better. As an adoptive parent, one needs time to prepare legally and physically for a new one. |
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Momof4beautifulGirls!
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Contact them as soon as you and your hubby are sure you want to give the baby up for adoption. that way they can find a family and that family can be there through the pregnancy and the birth of the baby. good luck. |
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Still Me
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It is good to call once you are certain. Or when and if you need counseling to decide, or need more information about adoption in general. Plan on calling several and find the one that fits you best.
If you need referrals to ethical ones in your area, let me know through my profile email.
Good luck to you.
"It is never too early or too late to consider adoption." |
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CountryLove
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As soon a possible they can give you some in site on how it works and things to think about the more time and info the better |
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Ayawi
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You should contact an agency right away, even if you are not sure. A good agency will discuss all of your options with you, and help you make an informed decision.
Besides that, if you do decide to go ahead with the adoption, it gives you more time to select a good family. It may take time to find a family you want to trust with your child.
Best of luck! |
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mchri954
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You should contact an adoption agency as soon as you know this is what you want to do. Even if you are wavering back and forth but are pretty sure you will want to start the process. Plus, this way you can discuss and decide all the adoption options with the agency (open, closed, etc.).
Good luck. |
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Kyle M
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I would do it now and let them know plenty of time in advance |
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Liz S
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eww gross, i know you diffently don't want a grandchild about the same age as your child. It would be like Father of the bride 2. So soon would prolly best but remember how that kid will feel when you tell him/her that you didnt want it after he/she fids you when he.she is older. |
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