Adoptees: Did you have a strong desire to have a child when you were young simply to have a blood connection?

LaurieDB

I very much wanted children. Having a blood connection was part of it. A desire to parent was part of it, as well. I did hope to have children fairly early (in my 20's.) Being infertile, it never happened for me, though. I'm 44 now.

I do understand that desire for the blood connection, though. I remember as a child being preoccupied with genealogy, genetics, ethnic connections and the like.

LOIUSE

My husband and I had our daughter at age 17. I was adopted. I did not plan on getting pregnant. However when my daughter was born I was over joyed to look into the eyes of my bio daughter and see myself in her.
How ever I know that many parents are over joyed looking into the eyes of there newly born child. So is this an adoption issue????? Maybe maybe not.

cruzgirlz3

No, I didn't feel this way. I was very excited to see my children for the first time and I did feel VERY blown away looking into the first faces in my life that actually looked like me. I can't really explain it but I have never felt so "adopted" as when I gave birth. It was due to the experience of childbirth but also the emotion of having that biological connection with someone for the first time. But this took me completely by surprise. I was not in a rush at all to have kids. I never even thought that much about being adopted until had a kids of my own. Just my experience.

Heather

Nope, but when I did have children, I was very excited about finally having a flesh and blood connection. I don't care how wonderful your adopted parents are, and mine were, there is something missing until you have your own children, people who look like you and act like you in some ways. It is something I have found I am particularly tuned into that other adoptees might share.

JennaBear

no, because I was freaked out that if I was 'too young' I would be pressured to give it up for adoption like I had been. so I'm even in my mid-twenties and am still freaked out about having kids and being a good mom...

PhilM

Yes. Yes. A thousand times, YES. It's a good insight. Obviously I cannot speak to your friends in high school, but I know that, for me, this was true. I didn't have children (very conservative upbringing), but the urge was very strong.

Carnie C

i see your point in your question....but it wasn't the case with me; my daughter was not planned. However, I love having a family and if i had my way in life, i would be a stay at home with three kids just because I like that life. Is it because i'm adopted -- i honestly don't think so; i think some people are just wired to be moms and love that life BUT i can understand how one would think that is the reason.

I think it's just one of those things -- there are people who were raised in their 'natural' families and they don't want kids -- could we say it's because they have a blood connection and didn't feel the need to procreate to get that?

Interesting question -- glad you asked and i'm looking forward to the answers from adoptees.

amyburt40

Yes I did. Of course I waited until I was 30 to have my first. I was 34 when I had my second one. I don't know if adoption necessarily played a factor. I was intensely protective of both of my daughters. It feels wonderful to have some one that I am connected to biologically. However I am worried about their futures because I don't have a connection to my past.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

yep. now i'm 40 and i still don't have any. i want one, but not as a single woman. for me, to be married is a prerequisite.

Pazit.

Nope, never. I had too much self respect (courtesy of my adoptive parents) to do something like that. Of course, I'm still young (20) and getting married within the next six months, but I want to wait until I graduate from college to have children.

Sophie

I'm not an adoptee, but found this question interesting. I am wondering if your young adopted friends had any relationship with their natural families growing up... as you mention they may desire for some biological relationship with someone.

La Fille

my friend arlene was adopted, but she had a lot of problems as she had been abused as a tot. even though her mom loved her to pieces, and arlene loved her too, she was very promiscuous throughout her teenage years. she got pregnant, on accident (pr thats what she told me) but her daughter, korinna, was born very very early and died.

van_tastic5775

maybe they want to show this new life that they brought into the world that they were going to look after,protect and be the best they could be to the baby as their parents, mothers, fathers were not to them, its great they are willing to be there for their kids and are happy about it, It obviously stems from being adopted and not feeling wanted and they want their kids to feel wanted and maybe it was just the right time for them. Everything happens for a reason and the fact that they were so happy COULD NOT BE A BAD THING LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! just be happy for them! and be supportivexx

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