Adoptees, Did your background information turn out to be complete and accurate?

Linny G

It was very vague.
I got my non id info from Catholic Charities. Said my n mom was a "student" from the midwest, that my n dad was "unknown". That's how they get around getting the n dad's permission to relinquish.

I verified that it was incomplete when I found my n mom, by "illegally" gaining my original information..(paying someone who had a connection) My records are sealed, so I had to break the law to get my mother's name.

Non-identifying info is just that, and usually the agency picks and chooses what they want to put down on paper.

My n mom gave my n father's name, age, major in college, and a lot more of her info, too, but, well, the Church had other ideas of what was pertinent.

There was no current medical info, either. People who go back in hopes of getting medical histories are in for a big disappointment. History changes. Just another example of how secrets and lies hurt adoptees, and adoptees families- my n siblings should have known about my cancer, so they could take a more proactive role in their preventative health care.

Possum

12 Years ago I finally got my ID and non-ID info about my mother and father.
(they couldn't release my father's name as he's listed as 'unknown' on my birth certificate)
I have since found my father - and he has verified most of what is in the notes.
The information listed all the details of what my mother told the social workers at the time of my relinquishment - her background and education and interests - a tiny bit of health info - her appearance - why she chose adoption - the social worker observations etc.
Of course it doesn't say that she was sent away - and told not to come back with the child - instead it states that she 'chose' adoption because she thought that marriage wouldn't work based only on a pregnancy. My father had offered marriage (this is in the notes) - but she stated that she thought she loved him more than he loved her.
*sigh* - she had extremely low self esteem - but apparently her mother used to verbally abuse her - saying how hopeless she was as a person etc etc etc. How could she win?!
My mother and father married 6 months after my birth - and had 3 more kids - and they're still married 39 yrs later.

I was able to get my information on turning 18 from the NSW Department of Community Services - they have a special adoption unit - for adoptees. We've been allowed to access our info since the early 1990's. Most states in Australia are the same.

I'm thankful that I can get my information - unlike so many in the USA - where no matter their age - their documents are sealed away for life - as if they're a criminal.
Records need to be open. The current system in the US is cruel.

Sly

All Social Workers, as part of their undergraduate degree plan, must complete a course in Creative Writing. I believe that my SW used the "NonID" information given to me and my son as her final examination.

Laurel J

I was adopted through the state and I got my non-identifying info from them. It did turn out to be accurate. It contained my mother's birthday, with which I was able to find her. She told me the info I'd been given was true.

Lillie

No.

It stated that my father didn't want me to be adopted and he was the reason it took 4 months to get the papers signed.

Because of that, I came very close to paying the agency to search for him first...good thing I changed my mind at the last minute and did a search for my mother, because I found out from her that no, he was all for the adoption and SHE held out for 4 months because SHE didn't want to give me up, and if I had searched for him, there's no doubt that he would have denied me any contact or information and the case would have been closed right then and there.

I'm sure the agency knew that, too, and that's why they lied on the non-ID info. Nothing like trying to prevent a reunion, the sleazebags.

Heather B

Once I was finally thrown a few crumbs of information it was all very secret and non-identifying.

The information came from the State, who gathered it from various places like the DSS and Family Courts. Lots of people got to look at MY life, but it was not available to ME LOL :(

The only way to verify it's completeness and accuracy was to show it to my mother when I found her many years later.

Some of it was accurate, alot of it was not, and there were alot of omissions which made situations sound totally different than they had actually been.

Anha S

I got the non identifying information from the Ontario CAS. I was able to verify it's accuracy after I met my first mother. According to her, the information only included a small fraction of the information she gave them, she also gave them my baby blankie and a letter that she wanted given to me if or when I requested my info. I never got the blanket or the letter, the information left out aunts and uncles that were completely present and accounted for at the time of my birth and adoption, it was just a mess really. They also skipped over about 1/2 of the medical information my first mom gave them.

Not Adopted

The only information I was given about the adoptive parents was approximate age, occupation, and other kids in the home. It was accurate (verified upon reunion).

ETA: I don't know what kind of info was shared with the a-family or if it was accurate. This hasn't come up yet.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!...

EVERTHING on my paper work was a complete and utter LIE.

my medical info was the worst. if it had been accurate, i could have avoided 20 years of suffering from a very rare genetic disease.

Zeena

First information was wrong...went back and received second information that was correct.

rascal0718

I was able to get copies of the initial intake information that was provided to the Home where my mother went to give birth to me. The info that my adoptive parents had given me was not quite accurate. That made it more difficult to find my birth mother when I was searching for her. My adoptive parents never told me what my birth last name was. Only what my first and middle names were at birth. But when I was 40, my adoptive dad snuck some papers to me without my mom knowing, and these included my original birth certificate and medical records up until I was adopted at age 7 months.

I had known my last name since I was in my late teens, as my dad kept a small security safe up in his closet and I knew the password. So one day, being nosy, I opened it up and read through the papers he had there. Once I learned my birth last name, I started searching for my birth mother. Back then, though, there was no internet, so the search was difficult. I abandoned it until after I had my children in the early 80's. Then I started looking again. But I stopped searching after awhile because I wasn't having much luck. It wasn't until my adoptive dad passed away in 2002 that I starting searching with a vengence.

It turns out that my birth mother was not 16 as I had been told, but she was actually 19 when she gave birth to me. I wrote to the State for my adoption papers, and they sent them to me. The information in those papers helped me to find my birth grandfather, who had died back in 1987 (I think). I had cut his obituary out of the newspaper because his last name was the same as my birth last name, and I thought that maybe someday it might be a clue to my past. Turns out, it was indeed. Using the obituary and the info that I got from the State, I was able to use the internet to find my grandfather's family history. I just continued to search and search until I eventually found my birth mother's sisters, and then finally my birth mother.

Once I met with her, I was able to verify some of the info that the State had given to me, but also to get some info on who she thought was my birth father. More internet searching, and it seems that (if my info is correct) he passed away back in 1985.

I am now trying to search for his family to see if I might have any half brothers or half sisters out there somewhere.

I think the only way to verify any info given to adoptees is to find the birth mother and father. I wish it were easier for adoptees to legally find their birth parents. It helped me to fill a void that I had. I never understood why that void was there, and it wasn't until I met my birth mother that I truly understood the need to find her. It just completed me somehow.

Adam D

I was told many lies as a child. When I found my real mom I got the truth and then we went to the California Adoption Authority and she and I signed the forms and weeks later we both got the thick file. I was in the foster system for the first 2.5 years of my life. The info in the file was very detailed and quite interesting. It answered a lot. I'm so thankful for the clarity and my mom. I also understand and forgive her. I love her with all my heart. Life is good now.

Erin L

I'm not an adoptee, but I'll tell you about dd's information. We adopted internationally. When we first got our daughter's paperwork, it was fairly vague and incomplete, but contained some family background information and family medical history. While we waited for travel, we did get good medical paperwork (actual hospital records), but nothing more about family background. When we traveled, we got to meet dd's parents and the picture of family background and reasons for relinquishment came a lot more into focus. That first hand knowlege is priceless to me and I'm sure will be to dd. Hopefully she will be able to find out even more if she is able to reunite in the future.

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