Adoptees: Doesn't it annoy you when people say...?

Heather B

It's an ongoing joke between my adoptive mother and I. When someone says it we just look at each other and burst out laughing. What else can you do? it's just so silly

Ashley D

my adoptive parents were originally my aunt and uncle. so since my father is related to me by blood, i do look like him, but i always get comments on how i look like my mother's side of the family, and im not related to her by blood at all. i cant figure it out.

it doesnt actually bother me too much because, well, it just doesnt really. i was adopted because my birth parents died, so its not like i even know what they look like anyways. so at least i look like someone who is my parent....i hope that makes sense

Jennifer H

lol..it doesn't really annoy me as much as it is just a completely absurd statement. I am taller then both my parents at 5'8. Both of my parents are on the "petite" side a guess and i am "normal" back in the day before my dads hair went gray it was blond and my moms hair was red and they both have bright green eyes. I have dark brown eyes and hair. there is nothing similar about how we look...its funny actually. Matter of fact i am pretty sure that i am a genetic impossibility :)
Oh well, i try not to let things like that bother me. I think both my parents are very beautiful people and its an honor to be told i look like them.

Randy B

Its never bothered me in the least and the truth is I do look very much like my maternal grandfather even though there is no blood connection. I've often been told I "have my mothers chin" but again, no blood connection there either. I've never had it with my own kids though but they are racially different so there is less chance of it all.

I think people say these things in all sincerity and then get flustered when people correct them and they don't know what to say. Kind of like when people ask how old my grand daughter is. She's actually my (adopted) daughter, she's 14 months and I'm only 45 but I don't bother correcting anyone just yet. What difference does it make if the cashier at Walmart thinks that and why bother if it will only make her feel bad? They mean no harm or insult. Once the child is older then I'll worry about it.

Cambria

I would laugh my a$s off if someone said that to me. Me=short, curvy, dark skin eyes and hair. My mom=med. height, skinny, blonde, light skin blue eyes. My dad= 6'8", red hair, pale skin, blue eyes.

SJM

Not really. My adad and I do have similar traits, and I've been guilty of doing the same thing. In fact, when I was introduced to one of my friend's sons, I commented on their similar traits. His son looked at me with a straight face and said, "I'm adopted." I burst out laughing, and responded, "Me too." Three years later, we were both looking for our own traits in our newborn daughter. It's human nature to look for similar features between parents and children. If I hadn't been looking for those similarities, our entire relationship would have probably been reduced to a casual hello. Most people are just at a loss for words once they realize there is no genetic relationship.

A's Momma

haha, That's never happened to me. I'm Asian and my Family is Caucasian. Even the other kids that were adopted. It wasn't planned that way, cuz my brother is half Hawaiian. I love my family though!

Emily D

I've known people who have biological kids who look nothing like either of the parents, but could be a clone of an aunt/uncle.

But no, it doesn't annoy me at all. I do look just like my dad's side of the family (my genetics professor was at a loss when he saw my pictures compared to that of my cousins on that side). In my family, it's usually the girls who resemble the fathers and the boys resemble the moms. Personally I think it's great. They say something about it and it gives me a chance to talk about being adopted. Of course, it seems I'm one of the few around here who love talking about their adoption.

Even with biological kids, I've heard people make comments "oh you have your mom's nose" and other things like that when it's just not there.

sizesmith

I think my adopted son looks just like his adopted daddy. But of course, he and our son's first mom would have passed for brother and sister, because height, body build, hair color, cheekbones, ear and nose shape are so much alike. His coloring is just like both of us, however, his beautiful brown eyes give it away, since we're both blue eyed.

I hadn't ever thought about people offending our son by saying something like this, so we'll put a stop to it. Already, instead of saying he looks so much like his bio brothers, or his first mom with his first dad's chin, we just say he looks like "J", who is a wonderful, good looking little guy.

AdoreHim

I am adopted and do not look like my adoptive parents at all. However, I have 2 adopted children, and my daughter actually does look like me. And our son looks like my husband. They have always got a "kick" out of it when someone mentions that. As a matter of fact, my family believes that it is amazing- and something only God could do. It does not annoy them at all. When one of their friends say how much they look like us- they actually smile.

When we met the birth mom of our son, we thought she could have passed for my husband's sister!

The Truth Hurts...

sometimes I get that because my amom and I are both blonde (mine is fake though) and we both wear glasses. Once when someone said that I said "I guess thats because we are around eachother so much." my amom thought it was the funniest thing.

What a ride! =D

Yes it does annoy me a lot, though it's funny too..
:)

cantstopLinnyG

Yup. It bothers me even more when people say it and they KNOW Im adopted. I look NOTHING like my a parents. It's hilarious. I think they just say it to make my parents feel better or something. Not that my parents are ugly or anything, lol, it's just very obvious I look nothing like them.

Rowan

not really. it was never said to me. it helps i dont look like them..lol.

Maybe if it was said to me, it would annoy me a little, but..ehh.

ladedamom

It is a completely ignorant statement. I hear that all the time about my son and inside I just laugh because they have no idea what they are talking about. Unfortunately even in the world of information that we have people are still ignorant about adoption and will make uninformed comments or statements that they have no clue what they are talking about. I still remember the comment that I got when my son came home from the hospital and some one asked me "so, is he a pure bred" as if he were a dog or animal!! That comment irritated me beyond belief because how that could matter - well, to me it didn't. He could have been pronounced that he was from Mars for all I cared as long as he was healthy and happy. Try not to let it get to you..and remember that you also don't owe them any explanation by even telling them you're adopted when they make ignorant comments- unless you want to.

Jorjie

No,i find it funny :) And good,knowing that your adopted but you fit in looking like the family anyway.

Becky

Well sometimes people can't really tell the different to me I look nothing like my real parents but my niece is adopted she is actually my bro and myself lil cousin but honestly she looks just like my Sis in law wich is actually no kin other than her adopted mom but you don't have to look just like them to have resemblance sometimes the more people are around each other they start having resemblance to each other...if they were good parents just be thankful if no one can tell the diff

! Luv my babies!

Yes, that is very weird! I actually do look a lot like my mum (adoptive mum) we have the same colouring, height and features but nothing like my dad, and nobody ever said I looked like him!

Also, when I met my bio mother she insisted I looked just like her, which I don't look a thing like her I look more like my bio paternal grandparents.

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