Adoptees: Growing up would you have felt better if you had an Ancestory DNA test done?

PhilM

Probably not while I was growing up. What I wanted while growing up was the knowledge of my first family. I wanted names, faces, stories, etc. The DNA might be helpful once I realized what it meant. But I would still be missing some of the most important things.

Still, I think the DNA might provide some touchstone. But I don't think it would have done it for me.

Andraya

I would have liked to know what part of the world I came from. Not out of being adopted but because I really wanted to be an archaeologist.

The adopted part of me wanted to know why I had green eyes and where my awful nose came from.

LaurieDB

If it had been available I do think I would have liked to have it. It would have been one little piece for me. I was always very, very curious about my ethnicity, but my aparents weren't really sure, so they tried to go by what they thought I looked like. Turns out they guessed partially correct, anyway!

Heather B

It's a crumb of information but at least it connects the adoptee to the human race. Something is better than nothing.

sunny

Why don't you just get information about his family?

Robin

What is so hard to understand (or why is it so hard to give) that a child wants to know who his PARENTS are? Yes, you are his mommy. And you still will be his mommy, even if he meets his first mom.

A DNA panel isn't going to tell me where I got my height from, or my green eyes, or my taste for sausage pizza, or my mannerisms, or why I'm the only one out of 4 kids to graduate HS & college. It won't tell me who I look like, or who I sound like or who I take after. I won't even tell me what I came to realize after I found my birth family, that I'm a blend of all these things - nature and nurture, biology and environment. My adopted and my birth families.

GOD! These AP questions are making me crazy! I'm so glad my parents weren't this flipping neurotic about my search! GEEZ Louis!

Sorry...but I can't take it any more.

ETA: Kristy~maybe you're trying too hard. A DNA panel isn't going to replace the questions your child may one day have. When I was growing up, I didn't think about my heritage. Probably b/c I'm mostly of eastern European descent, as are my adopted family. Although we didn't look alike, we weren't obviously different. I didn't know I am part American Indian (the blonde hair & fair skin hid that fact pretty well), or mostly Dutch. So, no, I didn't grow up celebrating that part of my heritage. My (a) grandparents were German & French.

If you're talking about Korean or Russian heritage, it's fairly easy to learn about & incorporate aspects of the culture into your life to honor this part of your child's heritage. And yeah, it's a nice gesture. Just don't make yourself crazy. And don't think will completely erase the loss he may one day feel.

Especially if there is no birth family to find. That's not your fault or anything you can fix. What you can do is simply acknowledge it if/when he talks about it. Don't deny his sense of loss. Don't take it personally, either. It's not b/c you aren't a "good mommy" or b/c you aren't "good enough".

Growing up, mostly what he'll want & need is love. Lots of love & understanding & acceptance. Love him for who he is. Let him BE who he is. That's all. Don't make it too complicated. Don't make yourself so crazy.

"One of the most powerful healing forces is available to every parent, free of charge: empathy. Empathy allows a person, even a tiny baby, to feel her feelings, rather than repress them, so they can be released."
http://www.quantumparenting.com/docs/wsg11-12-06.pdf

Good luck, my friend...

cruzgirlz3

I think it would have been really interesting. I had no information on my ancestry and I think my parents would have liked it as much as I would have. I use to wonder a lot about "what I was." I wanted to be Greek. My mother thinks I'm Italian. Sometimes I just made things up to tell people. I would have loved that info as a child, and I still would. Now it is not only a matter of where I come from but where my KIDS come from as well. I think my husband would also love to know.

I think it is a great thing you've done.

Crucio

I didnâ€™t not think about this as a child in fact I barely even thought of my birth â€œfamilyâ€ However I hope to have one done whenever I have the money for it. If I ever adopt any kids I will have one done for them as well.

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