Adoptees: What can an adoptive parent do to help their child with identity issues?

Lola

I guess moving to his country and instead of making them move to mine would be a starter. What u tink?

Anastasia's Mommy

Let them explore their background. A lot of times adoptive parents know at least the nationality of the child they adopt, a lot of times that can help. Because if a child is free to explore their own nationality and be a part of that group of people, they feel much more connected to who they are.

Linny G

So far, all of these suggestions are good. I would also suggest it be mandatory that all a p's read "Twenty Five Things Adoptees Wished Their Adoptive Parents Knew". (in a perfect world, lol)

There are tips to help with exploring the child's heritage, in addition to many other very valuable things to help a child.

If this book would have been around when I was adopted (bse) my life would have been dramatically different. It's a great read for all a p's and adoptees.

Flying Monkey #073177

LISTEN TO THEM! Actually listen, hold them when it is overwhelming, talk about where they came from, initiate conversation and know when to give them a hug and call it a night.

sunny

Find their mother for them.

kateiskate

Listen with an open mind and open heart and realize that the questions we might have don't have anything to do with you personally.

Research my heritage so you are equipped enough to answer the questions I ask you about it in an educated way.

Be open to any kind of feelings I might have about my identity, good or bad. Don't judge how I feel or take it personally.

Counseling might help in a lot of situations.

Anha S

Be willing to pass along information, about heritage, culture, parental traits, something that the adoptee may be able to identify themselves in. Be a part in researching, and discovering things about their culture and history.

SJM

Don't discourage them. Don't imply that they are selfish for wanting to confront the facts. Maybe even develop an honest interest in the heritage of your own child. Be supportive. Don't treat them as if they are being disrespectful toward you by trying to show respect to the blood that courses through their veins. Etc.

Jackie B

Just listen and don't offer your own 2 cents. Therapy is one way to get a third party objective point of view. There's also age appropriate books that might make understanding a little bit easier. I know there's adult adoptees support groups and I'm sure there is something similar for children. Every child needs to be able to feel like they can express their feelings without worrying about how others feel or whose feelings they hurt. As the adult, adoptive parent need to understand the feeling of something missing is a real thing and should they should be supportive in their child's quest for seeking the truth (that is assuming the child is old enough to "handle" the truth and whether or not knowing the truth right now (as opposed to being older with a little more perspective) would be detrimental to their well being.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: