Adoptees- When you were younger how did you imagine you birth mother to be?

Mei-Ling

I imagined her to be some broken old woman living in a wooden shack with my father.

Seriously if she hadn't had the money to keep me, then I thought she must have been living in absolute poverty.

God, was my imagination ever wrong.

Flying Monkey #073177

My mom was Madonna but she had to give me away cuz she was young and wanted to be famous.

cruzgirlz3

The story I was told...don't know if it is true or not....was that my mother was in her mid-twenties, was a political intern and had an affair with an East Coast politician. She moved to the West and lived in a "home for unwed mothers" to escape the disgrace of having a child "out-of-wedlock"

So, I always pictured her somewhat like Katherine Hepburn. Pretty, strong, cool and sophisticated. Ha! I imagined my father as something like Teddy Kennedy...but a younger, better looking version than he is now.

Oh, and sometimes I pictured her as the Brady Bunch mom depending on the mood I was in ;)

Needless to say, my visions are much more realistic as an adult.

Linny G

I cant wait to see these answers. So many adoptees have a fantasy of who their mothers were, lol. In my mind, my first mom was Ronnie Spector from The Ronettes. Funny, because I am white, lol. I just always loved anything by Phil Spector.
I always dreamed I would be famous and my n Mom would see me on stage and instantly recognize me. What is really bizarre is that when I found her & she wrote me a letter after we first spoke on the phone, she wrote that she always dreamed she would see me on stage & recognize me as her daughter!!! Enter "Twilight Zone" music!

Anha S

When I was really little, I wanted her to be a nurse (because I wanted to be one when I grew up) and then it progressed to movie star, rock star, hippie, and then in highschool when people insisted I looked like someone from a popular canadian comedy, i really got to wondering. But by the time I found her, I just wanted her to be a person with her own hopes and dreams and goals.

Romany

When I was young, I didn't imagine her to be anything because I didn't know I was adopted until I was 31.

Then, depending on what part of my non-ID I wanted to believe - I imagined her as Bette Davis' role in "What Ever Happened to Baby Jane?" or a sophisticated woman who likes music, art and theater.

gypsywinter

I am not an adoptee..but I can tell you what I was told (directly to me)by my reunited daughter's 'adoptive step-mother (??)'. They imagined me as a 'high-society debutante' who had had an illicit 'love-affair' with the 'Family's Hispanic Gardener' which was highly unacceptable for my societal standing...and Heaven Forbid I carried the child of the Hispanic Gardener! Her amother would also tell my daughter..that she was in fear when my daughter was very young..that I would come to 'kidnap' her. Debutante or Kidnapper! And here I was (a few years after the surrender), just your typical average working woman, married and raising 3 children born after my daughter. My daughter herself would tell me she rarely thought of me in her growing up years.

Heather B

I couldn't picture her at all. As a child I'd shut my eyes tight and try to imagine her face. All I saw was the outline of a woman that kept fading into the distance.

I was told many years later that this is a form of grieving.

I would sit outside my house and wait. I thought she was going to come for me. I'd wait and wait . . .

Crucio

I never fantasized about my birthmother or natural family. When I was younger I thought of her maybe a few (1 or 3) times a year, one was on my birthday never thought what she looked like etc.

Laurel J

I truly didn't imagine her at all. I thought that would be disloyal somehow. And I didn't want to imagine someone who "didn't want me" anyway.

When I got older I imagined I would find someone "like me."

SJM

I always thought she'd be taller. Really. Most of what I imagined was fairly close to reality. Of course, there were days my brother and I would make up some really funny stories, but usually only because there was a blizzard and nothing on tv. Ironically, some of those were more accurate than I'd like to admit. Then again, some were obviously the result of boredom. We'd do stupid stuff like decide we were half alien, then pretend all day without telling our parents that's what we were doing.

But I really though she'd be taller. My dad is tall.

ETA: Once when I was tending bar, I had a customer ask me why an Amish girl was serving drinks. He acted really offended by it. I looked at him as if he were nuts, and told him I wasn't Amish. His son was with him, and he and I went to school together. He swore to me that if his dad said I was Amish, I was. His dad's wife was from an Amish family. As it turned out, my maternal grandfather is from the very same Amish family. I didn't find out until later. That was pretty weird.

Rainia W

Haha I never pictured her as a movie star or anything, but I did think she would be a very pretty woman who looked like one of my teachers in elementary school. My adoptive mom probably didn't help much because when we would talk about it she would say, "the nurses said you looked a lot like her, and since you are soooo beautiful, she must be too!"

Lol I think my mom gave me an unrealistic ego boost my whole life. Thank the Lord for moms like that! They compensate for the media haha!

I still have difficulty imagining that she might not be pretty and youthful looking... I still picture her to be the same age as when she gave me up which was around 24, but she would really be in her late forties now. I think it will be a shock when I meet her.

Atlanta

Oh this is so my question. I had and still have a way out of wack imagination, so I created some pretty hairy scenarios that changed over the years, as did my supposed bio parents.

My dads have been: Michael Jackson (only in the thriller days), Don Johnson (Miami Vice days), David Hasselhoff (Knight Rider Days), Davy Jones (During the Monkees whole reunion thing), Simon Le Bon, John Taylor (Basically all of Duran Duran - Believe me I had quite the interesting back story there), Senator Ted Kennedy (Not quite sure what that was about)

Mom: Madonna (So, that means Andraya and I are sisters!), Anne Gillian (Haven't seen her in years), Roseanne Barr (When it was revealed she had given up a daughter), Pat Benatar (Because she was just too bad ***), Princess Diana ('Cause I wanted a tiara so bad)

I'm the weirdo who never actually considered her bio parents could possibly be anything less than exceptional. I even decided they must have magical powers.

Minnimouse

I imagined her to be similar to me, but much prettier. Much younger than my adoptive parents because I thought my mother had given me up because she was young (turned out that wasn't true). So I was looking round for a 30 something year old woman with reddish brown crinkly frizzy hair and blue-green eyes, tall with freckles. Whenever I saw a woman like that I wondered whether it was her.

Then amazingly when I met my biological aunt for the first time she fitted my image perfectly. Spitting image of what I had imagined. When I walked up the driveway to the house and she came out to greet me my jaw dropped, I had seen her before sooo many times in my head. I haven;t met my biological mother yet but I have photos, she doesn't look quite like what I expected, a bit older of course, more like 40-50ish, but still nice.

BOTZ

I only ever imagined one celebrity (actress) was my mom -- Tyne Daly.

I imagined her because she was so many things that were DEAD OPPOSITE of my a-mom -- smart, gutsy, earthy, raw, tough and strong. She was also so REAL, so NORMAL (for a celebrity) and looked a lot more like me than anyone in my 'real' (adopted) world.

It was a phase when I was a teenager. Mostly, I imagined my Mom was a regular gal, a lot like me (except prettier) and that she was married (not to my Dad) and had more kids. I was right about all of that. This was what I imagined before AND after the Tyne-Daly-is-secretly-my-mom phase.

My Dad, on the other hand, I pictured many celebrities (mostly actors) were my Dad. I had some basis in reality always though -- I chose East Coast actors/celebs only (I was born in Massachusetts) and only men who were tall (which was one factoid I had throughout life) and about the right age. The one that 'stuck' the longest in my mind was David Morse.

I never really had a 'regular guy' image of my Dad until I found him. He was a lot more imaginary than my Mom. I wasn't even sure he knew I existed -- turns out he did.

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

I seriously don't remember thinking about her very much. I know, I'm the weird adoptee.

Rowan

Same thing you did, an older version of me. I thought she was this young, pretty girl whos boyfriend left her and she wanted us but couldnt give us a good home. I used to fantasize she was famous..lol

I miss my childhood fantasy. Reality is much more...real.

bananarama

I tried not to imagine what she would be like, i guess i didnt want to be dissapointed because she wasnt what i expected but my ap's always tried to tell me not to expect much and be gratefull for anything i find out

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