Adoptees, do you consider yourselves lucky?

Randy B

After reading this forum for a while I'm very much convinced that I was much more lucky then some of the people who post here. My parents did an excellent job in raising all of their children and I can only hope to be doing as good a job as they did. Adopted or natural, we are all successful in what we wanted to do, well adjusted in our lives and happy. After all this time I know that feeling will never leave me. Yes, everyone's life has it's ups and downs but the core of who I am will always be there.

sunny

Hell no.

I was a product of bad timing. When the 'enlightened' Western world thought it better to take babies from their mother, and have them raised by strangers.

In addition to that, I pulled the short straw by getting financially irresponsible, dysfunctional, and abusive parents.

Lillie

Oh sigh.

Yeah I was lucky to get a truly wonderful adoptive family who didn't beat me or starve me or make me sleep in a chicken wire cage, like that Leekin woman in Florida. *shudder*

I was lucky that "somebody took me in" and I "didn't end up in a dumpster" *maniacal laughter*

But that's where it ends. Being given away from my family, my roots, my identity, has been a very jagged little horse pill to swallow. Society doesn't recognize that loss...most people expect me to be grateful and feel, well, LUCKY that I lost my mother, my father, my full brother, my half sister, my grandparents, my aunts, uncles and cousins, all because of what? Because my parents were 18?

What was I "saved" from, what did adoption really do for me, other than trade one perfectly fine family for another?

And in the process, totally obliterate my past, seal up my records, deny my prior existance, make inaccessible my own birth certificate, my records, any right whatsoever to know the people to whom I share the same DNA, the same bone structure, the same love of art and cats and history? How are we a "danger" to one another? We are not. Yet the government and society likes to think that we are.

Is that "lucky" to you?

It isn't to me.

DevonChaos

I don't feel lucky, nor would I expect someone who is raised with their firstparents to feel lucky they weren't aborted. I wouldn't say I'm UNlucky, but I would say that I have a different hand to deal with than people who aren't adopted.
My birthday is the worst day for me. I also hate filling out any forms that ask for family health information. Why can't they just have one box to check for "I'm adopted and have NO CLUE!!!"? Its just a reminder that somewhere out in this big world, I have a whole family I may never find. When I was filling out the papers at my ob/gyn it reminded me that I was giving birth to some unknown person's grandchildren. I know I'll always feel this way. Even if I found my first mother today, I would still feel such loss.

Linny G

This sort of goes along with the "GRATEFUL" question.

Lucky for what? I have never won a sweepstakes, beauty pageant or lottery. I did come in 2nd place in my 5th grade Spelling Bee- but luck had nothing to do with that. I studied that little red book for weeks.

I dont believe in luck. I was the next baby in line for my adoptive parents.

I wouldn't classify having emotional issues stemming from adoption "lucky". I do, however, consider knowledge and strength to work through these issues a good thing.

If you want to compare getting decent parents to winning the adoption lottery, I guess you could say Im lucky. Kinda like "Baby Bingo"??

Will what feeling leave me? The adoption blues? Never. I feel it everyday, but mostly on my birthday, which I detest.

Heather B

I could never feel lucky that my family and true identity was missing for 37 years, no.

I do, however, feel lucky I was parented by the people who adopted me rather than some of the yahoos out there, I mean YIKES!

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

i in no way feel lucky. losing my mother fo 20+ year does not feel like luck was on my side.

i'm 40 now and neither of us has recovered.

Mei-Ling

Why would I feel "luckier" than the rest?

I gained a family but I also lost a family. Why couldn't I be like any other non-adopted child and ONLY receive the gain WITHOUT the loss? Isn't that what happens to non-adopted children - they are born to a good family and expected to be appreciate of what they have, but because that is their biological kin, they aren't expected to "be grateful" to the same standard nor have they lost any connection to their roots?

I don't know if this feeling of loss will ever leave me. I'm in the middle of "reunion" so I can't answer until I go back.

When do I feel it the most? When I'm doing Voice Chat and I can barely understand anything anyone says to me at the other end. It's an awful, UNlucky feeling.

drkangel210e

I don't feel lucky. My adoptive parents tried their best, but I resent the fact that society expects me to thank my lucky stars that I exist. It pains me whenever anyone says that "unwanted" children should be aborted. They are so secure in their right to exist... I was "unwanted" because my mother was 16 when she fell pregnant by my Latino father. Her family hated him for his race, and the situation he'd put their daughter in. Today, I sometimes hate that half of my identity because it was one of the sources of my rejection. No, I'm not lucky.

towanda

I think it all depends on how your life turned out.

Me personally yes I do feel lucky, luckier than my half sister because I didn't have to be raised by a psycho mother. After meeting my birth mother and seeing what a horrible mother she was to the daughter she kept I feel very lucky to have been raised by the parents that I was and not by her.

However I don't feel lucky for being given away and not wanted by the one person who is suppose to love you unconditionally.

Rowan

i feel very lucky. 1. i had adoptive parents who loved me and my twin.2. That, unlike my younger sister i wasn't raised by a woman who no matter how hard she tried(and she did try) could not get the whole parenting thing down.3. That i've had a happier experience then some of the adoptees on this board.

I dont think the feeling will ever leave me. i was very lucky, and i thank God everyday for it.

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

Luckier than what? I've never been NOT adopted so I don't know how to feel other than how I feel.
I feel lucky to have the best mom ever created. She is my hero.
I feel lucky to have good health, wonderful brothers, nephews, neices, and children.

Other than that (and I'm not being a smart @ss), I truly don't know what you mean

Zeena

I feel luckier than some people on here.Unlike others, I had a great experience and I am glad I was put up.My parents are the best...the birth parents, eh, not so much.They aren't "bad" people.I just prefer my parents over them.

I think that they made the right decision.I always felt a "hole in my heart" kind of feeling...but not much.I don't believe in the fact that your family makes your identity.That is my job.

But then again...I have a whole totally different faith than the majority of people and that influences what I believe in and how I feel.

AdoreHim

I will start out by saying that I do not believe in luck. I fill that God has a plan for everyone of us. This is not going to be a popular answer, but I am really not here to be popular- even though I would hope that people would respect me for my answers, because they are what I have experienced. I believe that God has a family for every child that HE CREATES. I feel thankful that I was not aborted- being thankful and lucky are two different issues. I am thankful that my birth mom loved me enough to give me life. I love and respect her very much- but I feel that she followed God in her decision, even if she did not realize it. Thumbs down are what i am expecting. And that is ok with me.

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