Adoptees, do you think that you have a right to your mother's records from her maternity home stay?

SJM

This gets a little more complicated. As far as medical records, no, those are private. Any professional counseling notes should also be private. Social worker notes, on the other hand, can be kept in the child's file as well as the mother's. Anything that's in the child's file should be accessible by the child (as an adult), even if it contains the opinion of Aunt Flo from Timbuktu. Adopting parents are sometimes given background information taken from social worker notes in the child's file. There's no reason the child shouldn't be provided that information as well.

ETA: I should point out that for those of us born during the BSE, our file at the maternity home contains the only access to our life for the first few months. Many of us were not adopted at birth. We were placed in foster care until the agency was sure we were healthy. I spent 5 1/2 months in a private foster home under the direct supervision of the agency. I don't even know the name of my own pediatrician without access to those files. I do know the name of my foster parents, but many adoptees do not know their own whereabouts during that time. My aparents tell me I had measles when I was a few days old. They didn't know me then, of course. I really have no way of knowing if that is even true without access to those records. Many BSE adoptees do have a good reason to want access to maternity home records. Of course, we don't need to know how many times our mother was assigned bathroom duty during her stay. We don't need our mother's file. But we should have access to our own file.

ETA again: I don't believe the only information an adoptee should be granted is the OBC. The maternity home/adoption agency was my legal guardian for 1 year, 6 months, and 16 days. They are a private corporation, but they are also a state licensed social services agency. They had full legal custody of me from three days after my birth until the adoption was final. They did not place me in my future adoptive home for nearly six months. They kept records that include social worker notes, medical records, foster care placement, developmental information, and my name for the first six months of my life. I feel as if I have a right to see their records pertaining to me.

[Sorry about the wall of text, but I don't really care if my mother said something to my social worker that she doesn't want me to know. With privacy comes responsibility. I still should have access to my own records maintained by my legal, state licensed guardians who sold me for cash.]

Flying Monkey #073177

I think I should be able to access the medical records pertaining to my birth. Other than that no. While I would love to see them they are about her story, a chapter in her life. That chapter includes me but it is not my story to own. If my mother wanted me to see them I would want to look of course but beyond any medical notes from my delivery it is not my place. It would be like demanding someone's private diary, just because she was pregnant with me at the time I don't have any right to know her personal thoughts or the thoughts others had about her.

Randy B

If adoptees are to be treated the same as anyone else (which is what the majority of people here state they want) then if a non-adoptee doesn't have access to their mothers records then an adoptee shouldn't.

Yes, non-adoptees have someone they can ask and draw information from but they don't have a hard copy file of their mothers records unless their mother gives it to them. While adoptees don't have the same luxury of having the person around to ask question of, I don't think that entitles them to someone elses medical records without that persons consent.

So, to get around that issue why not have birth mothers sign consent forms so that either copies of those records can be shared with the child or sanitized copies could be given if the mother does not want her ID known.

LORI

No, thats insane and disgusting.
I think basic info like name, date of birth should be given. Also maybe a little more stuff like problems during delivery (just basics or my records not her actual medical records) would be OK since it is kind of relevant to me/the child but it would have to be something that actually effected the adoptee.

I think giving anyone social worker notes, actual medical records, etc without the mothers permission is totally unethical and offensive though. Everyone has a right to privacy and placing a baby for adoption doesn't/shouldn't take away the mothers rights, I can't see how it would even be legal.

I'm sure there would be some things in those files that I would be really interested in knowing but I don't have any right to see them. Nobody actually gives out those records do they?

rachael

i have to say no with the exception of

1. mother if found to be dead at the end of the search. and only the medical background should be given
2. medical background of any sort.

i dont allow my children to have access to my medical records. and i dont have access to my amoms....so in my mind unless its a medical issue that can be passed genetically, we should not have access.

i understand why someone would want them, but there is a difference between what is our entitlement and what we just want. my children are entitled to my medical background, not my whole records

yeahright

I am not an adoptee but I don't have access to my mothers personal health records--this is personal private history and frankly she has rights to her privacy. Why would a mom who is giving up her child lose those same rights? That goes up and beyond open records for adoptees personal records.

Your own Birth cert and your personal history--absolutely. Your mothers personal and private mental history--not so much.

BOTZ

My mother did not stay in a maternity home... but no, still.

My mother's records are her records. Medical and otherwise. She (and my father) has (have) fallen over themselves to give me everything they can think of that I might want or need. They, THEMSELVES, have given it to me, MYSELF, directly and personally -- because they wanted to and not because it was requested (it wasn't).

I wanted to find THEM -- the real, living, breathing people. I found them. Everything they have given me (which is more than I imagined in my wildest dreams) has been 'gravy'.

I know that, to many, it seems that it may be more 'PC' to say that one wants to search for medical reasons or for "records/information" only so as not to appear ungrateful or to hurt their APs feelings. I am not big on "lies of kindness" as my a-mother called them. I believe in telling the truth gently and with sensitivity, rather than telling a lie (or lying by omission) to spare someone's feelings.

I learned to tell the truth about my intentions regarding my search. It worked out better than I had ever hoped. I had no expectations but even my private hopes were far exceeded.

I got all the medical information I could have ever wanted -- and lots and lots of other 'types' of information -- and many wonderful, joyous, ongoing relationships out of my reunion.

Nope, I am not entitled to anything that belongs to another unless it is freely given.

gypsywinter

I was not lost to adoption (born illegit, but my mother won! and she was able to keep me and raise me), my mother was a resident (inmate?) of a Mother & Baby Home in England (the British version of the American Maternity Home) while she was pregnant with me and for 3 months after I was born. After my birth I roomed with my mother, then my grandmother allowed mom and I to return 'home'. My mother lived in that British maternity home for 3+ months before I was born. She never spoke of it and I never questioned her for the 52 years after I was born. I always felt that if I had asked her questions it would be most upsetting for her and truly didn't think it was any of my business concerning events in that maternity home before my birth. If she had offered any information, of course I would have been all ears! After my mother's death, I was helped in locating the Roman Catholic Nun Order that held those records. A very old nun wrote me a very long letter. Of course she gave mostly glowing accounts of this maternity home and it's 'residents', included my mother's admission and discharge dates, and nothing of a personal nature concerning my mother. BUT! she did say this...'It was a most traumatic event when mother and baby were separated and those few times when mother was able to leave with baby, a most happy time'!! To me, I myself a surrendering mother, those words were most important and the words that would have the hugest impact on me. Here was this almost 90 yr old Nun..who remembered working at that home and how terribly sad and traumatic it was to separate mother and her baby. That said volumes to me. Too bad no one said that to me, here in America, when I was 18 and losing my newborn to adoption in 1964. I also was not in a maternity home. I do not believe that the maternity home records should be part of 'open' records for those adopted, but certainly should be made available (total access) to any mother who was forced to stay in a maternity home and she wants those records. From knowing my mother as I did and knowing now the many mothers that were forced to live in maternity homes while pregnant and birth...this chapter in a mother's life is extremely painful and very, very difficult for many women to speak about, even today. To those mothers who were forced to endure such emotional and physical pain, in the most vulnerable state a woman can be in...pregnant...I am sorry that you had to endure such pain and humiliation and then life's greatest pain...losing your baby to adoption. No options other than adoption. I cannot ever assume to know what mothers in maternity homes had to endure...but I surely know the pain of losing one's newborn to adoption.

Carol c

even though I'm not an adoptee - no - that is private information that should only be shared if she chooses to do so.

adoptees have the right to their obc.

amyburt40

No I do not think adoptees have the right to that information. However if I got that information, I would turn it over to her. Adoptees should only have access to the OBC as a minimum and the adoption decree at maximum. That is the only information that actually pertains to us.

Jackie B

If it is without her consent, absolutely not. No one, even people raised with their natural mothers are allowed to view medical records without consent. I have to sign a release form to have my own medical records released from one doctor to another.

BelgianPrince18

nope

cantstopLinnyG

No. I have no right to that, as those are considered her personal health records. I only want what pertains to me, which is my original birth certificate.
Adoptees dont want special rights, just equal rights.

Problem Child

No, I believe that kind of access would be an invasion of her privacy and would be morally and ethically wrong.

I do, however, believe I should have access to MY medical records and the social worker's notes pertaining to MY first days and months of life in the hospital and then in foster care. I know nothing of this period of MY life and those records are regarding me directly.

Everyone else who is hospitalized or has a case with social services has the right to obtain copies or their records...why not adoptees??? Just another example of how we adoptees are second class citizens.

Dreabby<3

Well not really i know your thinking oh she's my mother but still don't you think that even your mom should have a little privacy just like you just cause she i your mom doesn't mean you can go snooping in her things just ask for her permission it wouldeen't hurt:)

mom to be

No, I do not think we should have access to any ones personal records but our own. The notes that social workers and the medical staff are private. I think the HEPA laws would cover this. We are not able to get information on our spouses with out their permission. I would not want my bio-parents to have access to my records, I will share the information with them if and when I choose.

Daisey Duck

No. No one can get my medical information and records without my consent so why should I be able to get hers. It would be an invasion of privacy. You have to sign papers at the dr's office now stating who is allowed to obtain information, those kind of records are private information and should be given only by consent. Otherwise anyone could get private information on anyone they wanted and that is just not right. Everyone is entitled to their privacy.

Philippa

No, unless the mother is dead. I feel adoptees deserve to know but the information should come from their mothers - I've given my son medical information.

pleasant

I think adoptee's have a right to know their mother and father's medical problems so they know what to expect in life.

Independ"ant"

Considering how unethical and disturbed the social workers and staff were back then (some still are)........I wouldn't trust the accuracy of those kinds of records.

They should just be given basic information and how to contact you. Mothers can then tell the truth.

A lot of lawsuits can be created over untruthful records made by those sadistic wack jobs.

Heather B

No way. I don't have any right to another person's medical records without her permission.

I would, however like my own records

Temperance

Adoptees have a right to know everything. Her name for one would be great, the rest would be icing on the cake.

Krystal<3

it depends on what there former parents want for them now in life

dvdclarke

Adoptees supposed to know their rights.

Juliet H

yes.

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