Adoptees: have you mostly gained or lost in being given up and adopted?

Mei-Ling

I'm not sure.

It's hard to compare my now-life to a life I've never lived. As of late, I find it especially hard to compare the "me" with the "me" that would have existed in my birth country because I've been... doing some spiritual things lately. It's almost as if my Taiwanese parents have become more "real" to me lately, as if they linger behind me, always quiet but always smiling at me.

Pros: gained great adoptive parents, who are my mom and dad. Gained the best older brother! Learned English astoundingly well which in turn helped me to read and write better than most of my classmates during my elementary school years. Had a fun childhood growing up.

Cons: lost a set of perfectly good parents and my (original) elder brother. Will probably never be able to speak Mandarin as fluently or even at least PASSABLY as well as I would like to. Can't read enough characters to save my life, can barely write most of them anymore. Didn't grow up around other racial minorities.

Problem Child

I lost more by far...now there's a big gaping hole where my heart is supposed to be. My self-worth and my self-esteem was irreparably damaged and I lost a piece of my soul the minute I was born and given up for adoption.

medusa

I can't quite say yet, as I'm not old enough to meet my birth mother, but I know many people who are much better off being adopted. My sister for example, she was one of maybe four children given up between her b-mothers drug addictions. And my friend is one of three taken away who grew up in a wonderful home as opposed to her b-parents who treated them like ****.

Steph

thats almost impossible to say, because i dont know what kind of life i would have lived had i not been adopted. i've had a great life, but i've also struggled due to issues with my adoption. potentially, i could have lived a better life, or a worse life, but i'll never know. i try not to think about it. everything happens for a reason.

kateiskate

I have gained so much in being adopted. If I was raised in Korea as a woman I would have never had so many opportunites iwas offered to me as I have here in the United States. I have gained a mom who would fight for me no matter how hard I tested her, and a Dad who would do anything for me. I gained a sister who has made me stronger and an entire lifetime of character building life lessons.

Also another gift that many other people donâ€™t get was given to me because of my adoption. I am completely non racial and there has never been a person thatâ€™s been quite so color blind. Iâ€™m Korean, raised by a white family and engaged to a black man. Being adopted into a family of a different race at such a young age made me blind to a lot of the racist things people do and say in society.

I am grateful that I was adopted.

Sweet and Spicy

I gained a loving mother and lost a birth giver. That is the best thing.

cuttie<3

i think you have gained because you're going to go to a family that really wants you. its not like your really parents didn't want you, i mean like you don't why they gave you away but you're going to be with someone who truly cares about you.:)

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