Adoptees: how are your adoptive parents?
Find answers to your legal question.
Adoptees: how are your adoptive parents?
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do you feel they 'bought you' or really care for you? why did they 'get you' in the first place?
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Possum
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My adoptive parents had 2 children of their own - then adopted me.
They really did care for me - but later I had a step father (my a-father died) and he liked to make me feel as if I should be grateful for being adopted - as if I had been bought - and saved from a fate 'worse than death'.
In reality - my biological parents married just 6 months after my birth - and went on to have 3 more kids. They were pressured into relinquishing me - simply because they were unwed at the time.
My adoptive parents main 'faults' - they would not let me talk about my biological family - & they would not allow me to ask questions. I was made to feel as though I was being unfaithful to them - simply because I wanted to know where I came from.
In reality - they should have had more faith in their parenting skills & in their love for me - and they should of encouraged my natural curiosity for the part of me that is 'nature'. |
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stray
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well my adoptive parents didnt buy me because I came out of the care system but i dont really consider them my parents because they were incredibly selfish and abusive.
As far as I can see they got us because they wanted people to think they were good people helping out the charity cases |
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nean
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I was adopted by mother's new husband. And it was horrible. I felt like I was there to be the punching bag, the one who had all the responsiblities when "his" biological children were born. No, I never felt he cared for me at all. He was mean and hateful, and when he died 12 yrs ago, I was left out of his will because I was not a "natural" child. Talk about a blow! |
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Gershom
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my parents REALLY care for me, and i love them too. It doesn't change the fact that they bought me. They got me to have a child that they couldn't have naturally on their own. They definately weren't prepared for the extra issues adoptees come with, but they validate that for me now and we get along great!
when money is exchanged for the the delivery of an infant, no matter how much they must love us and usually do, we have still been bought. Their LOVE for us doesn't take that away. Its just a face. |
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So_Cal_QT
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My adoptive parents love me as if I were there own flesh and blood. They were unable to concieve so they adopted me from a young woman who was not ready to be a mother, let alone a single mother.
I can't imagine anyone who is adopted thinking they were "bought"... but maybe there are some people like that somewhere... that's a terrible shame. |
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JENNIFER M
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In no way would I ever feel that my adoptive parents "bought me". They are the two most loveing and giving people that I could have ever had as parents. In all of my 21 years I have never felt like I was an outsider in the family or that I was any different then anyone else. My adoptive parents still to this day continue to give me all that I need to become a successful person and to make them proud. I was adopted from within my family because my biological mother was unfit to take care of me. She had some cognitive issues (she was slow) and couldent provide for me. |
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LivewireT
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I loved my adoptive parents and still do-they adopted me when I was 6mos. old. They are my true parents, because anyone can have a child, but not everyone can be a parent. Unfortunately, they have both died, and I am left with a lot of unanswered questions. But one thing I do know, is that the love that a parent has for a child is a strong bond and can never be broken, adopted or not. |
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megs
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My adoptive parents are my parents and always will be. I was lucky to be adopted i have met my bio family and wouldn't change a thing. |
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cassie
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well im going through the process nowe and no i dpont think they bought me and they love me like a normal parent and i love them however im not going to answer how |
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freedomsring23
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I can't imagine my life without my parents. They are my best friends and the most important people in my life.
When I hurt, they hurt. When I'm in pain, they're in pain. When I'm happy, they're happy. When someone messes with me, my dad wants to go after them. lol.
There's no words out there that could describe my relationship with my parents. It was like I was born for them. The 3 of us are such a close family, and we've been through A LOT together.
I've known since the day I came home (at 3 days old) I was adopted, and it was important for them for me to know early on, since my mother cannot physically have children, and all she wanted since she got married was a child.
I can't picture my life without them. I would be totally lost. |
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Enginerd
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no offense, but that is a fairly ignorant question.
I was adopted and consider myself to be an incredibly fortunate man. No, i dont feel bought, my PARENTS could not concieve, so they adopted myself and my sibling |
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To interacial/international adoptees? |
| have you ever been with your family in a line and the cashier thinks you're the next person in line?or you had a family member in the ICU but because you weren't the same color as them the ... |
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I did not sign? |
| i did go to ocy and they cancell the appointment they had for me. the judge at the time told me when i was incarcerated that he had seen my childrens and they look find,and he could not understand ... |
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How do you tell an adopted child they have siblings? |
| The child I will be adopting will have three full sisters, 1 full brother (who she will be raised around) 2 half sisters and 1 half brother from her mom. 3 half sisters and 1 half brother from his ... |
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Has anyone read this about biased adoption counseling with an agency? |
If you are considering adoption, be aware that these factors come into play in most agencies!!
http://paragraphein.word... |
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Getting adoption papers, I'm the adoptee.? |
I asked this the other night, but it has not gotten any replies, so I am asking again and putting it in a different section...
I'd like the get the papers that tell me who my birth ... |
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I see many complaints about the Adoption industry, but is it a supply problem or a demand problem? |
| I have heard the complaints that adoption industry goes after white babies because that is what people want or that they go after single mothers to get the babies. Thinngs need to change with some of ... |
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What all is considered when adopting? |
| My husband and I are wanting to adopt a kid, we applied for a homestudy but I was wondering what all is considered? Do you have to own a home or can you be a renter? How much income do you have to ... |
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Has anyone ever given up a child for adoption? |
| How did it feel in the beginning once your child was born and then gone? How do you feel about it now? Do you have any regrets? How did you decide this was the best option? I don't want to give ... |
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Do you agree with this? |
In an answer to a question, a "regular" on this forum said this
"In my experience, "emotionally mature AP" = oxymoron. Readily admit tho' that I have seen the ... |
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After an adoption has been finalized is it possible to reverse? |
| Alright i am 18 first of all and i just had a baby on january first. But at the time my girlfriend was underage and i didn't want to admit it was mine because i was afraid her parents would have ... |
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FPs, APs: Question about naming a guardian? |
| Obviously this would apply primarily to those in an open adoption where a relationship has been established, but when it comes to naming a guardian in the event of your death (adoptive parents) have ... |
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How do i explain my recent adoption to my nieces? |
| they are 5 and i adopted transracially. they are going to be curious and i want to know how to explain this to them without giving them insecurites. i dont want them to think that they could be put ... |
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Until what age can a person legally adopt someone? |
| I don't have chiIdren of my own, but, I would like to adopt my 19 year old god-daughter is that still possible?... |
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What causes adoption fog? |
| I wonder, if I am very open with my children, and if I help them to process their feelings whenever they need to (assuming they feel comfortable telling me about their feelings, which I hope they do),... |
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Adopting a child woth r.a.d. and a.d.h.d. ? |
| my husband and i are going thru the adoption process right now and the 2 children that we are looking in to have been diagnosed with a mid form or reactive attachment disorder and we are wondering if ... |
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Were you and your spouse always on the same page about adoption? |
| My husband and I have been married for a while and hoping for a baby, but that doesn't seem to be happening. I've always been open to the idea of adoption, but he doesn't seem to be. ... |
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ADOPTION...selected by agency...? |
| Wow!! We were just selected to be the adoptive placement for a child through Social Services...We are so very excited!! We will find out more of his background in the next week, but I was just ... |
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My adopted child does not looks like chinese? |
| Many pple said the child looks like malay. How should i deal with it especially we are chinese. Does anyone out there have similar case, how are you dealing with it. Family, friends, stranger........ |
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3-5 year old after school care in the UK? |
I am in the process of adopting a child with my partner here in the UK. We both hope for a 3-5 year old but paniced today over money and after school care.
Does anyone know of what after ... |
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