Adoptees if you generalize aps as?

AdoreHim

You know something, it is getting so old that people here think it is selfish to want to adopt children. I don't understand the reasoning. I know plenty of biological parents that lie, that are greedy and selfish. What I don't understand is people say ask "for those pro-life people why don't they put their beliefs into action, and adopt those children that are saved from abortion". And then in the same breath they say "adopted parents are selfish and greedy". DOES NOT MAKE SENSE. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting children. Some women can have 14 children, guess who I am referring too, and some cannot have any. Why is it that the women who cannot have any should not adopt? Wake up people

greeneyedevil

My adoptive parents were none of those things, they wanted a family. Why should we make people feel bad for wanting to expand their families by adopting. Whether you are an adopted child or a biological child you will always find fault in the way you were parented. Nobody escapes childhood unscathed. The goal is to do better than the previous generation.

Mei-Ling

I think of my own parents as good people.

But it's just not that black and white. There are consequences for everything, regardless if intended or not.

Someone could have the most pure intention in the world, but because of how they set out to do something, it may not end up the way they thought it would.

The future is not the past, but it is usually if not always affected somehow BY the past.

ETA:

Randy: LMAO!

Laurel J

I don't generalize them as such things (at least I never mean to). I love my adoptive parents very much.

The world is, let's face it, full of "selfish, greedy, lying...manipulative" people. It is also full of selfless, honorable, compassionate and caring people. Sometimes the good people don't get the recognition they deserve because our attention is on making the bad people stop doing bad things.

We're lucky if we get born to OR adopted by good people. But not everybody is good, and their kids shouldn't have to suffer because we're afraid of offending the good ones. The good ones look past the anger, find the reasons for it, and (very often) end up supporting adoptee rights. Both my a'parents did.

Randy B

It looks like we have a new flock of trolls around now too.

My own parents? They are great people and I owe everything I am today to who they are and what they did to raise me.

Oh, and they adopted me too. Selfish, greedy, lying and manipulative SOBs that they are.

cantstopLinnyG

I don't. I only call ap's those things if it warrants it, like ,"My child does not care about their first mom" (because they really dont know what their child is feeling) or, "I want twins" or, "I want a perfect newborn" or "I will stop at nothing to get a baby", or "Anyone know where I can find a teenager who is pregnant?" (some of those things were just said this week by pap's here on Y!A)

eta* for áƒ¦Îµâ„“ysÎµ
"They wanted a child and made a huge donation in order to get you"
Ummmmmm, yeah. Pretty much. Aahhh, the innocence of youth...

Flying Monkey #073177

I calls em how I sees em. Not all APs are any of those things, I know plenty who are amazing people and parents but I won't candy coat my words to the ones who do act badly.

My issues with my APs have nothing to do with how I see or respond to others.

PhilM

If you generalize all adoptees as characterizing APs this way, aren't you guilty of hypocrisy?

I don't see Adoptees generalizing to all APs. I see some APs and PAPs acting this way. But that doesn't mean all of them do. And just because some Adoptees say negative things about some APs doesn't mean that they think all APs are that way or that all Adoptees think the same.

Kashi

I think parents can be selfish, greedy, lying, etc. no matter if they are birth parents or adoptive parents. It's not one factor that makes them that way. They were probably that way before they had children as well. Plenty of blood related parents are bad as well.
My adoptive parents are wonderful people. I was adopted 35 years ago and wouldn't change a thing. I'm in contact with my birth mother as well and she's wonderful too.

John M

a was lucky I got to know all of my parents, And loved them all.

áƒ¦Îµâ„“ysÎµáƒ¦

I think that's a horrible thing to say about any parents, especially adoptive parents. I know that it's not exactly a walk in the park, I'm not saying that at all, but still... that's a bit disrespectful.

I was adopted at thirteen months from China and I'm glad I was adopted event though it doesn't always seem that way when you see me today. I'm having a lot of issues with bonding and stuff, but I'm still very grateful for my parents adopting me. If your parents didn't want a child, then they wouldn't have adopted you. Think of it that way. They wanted a child and made a huge donation in order to get you. Just think of all the other kids out there who don't have a house at all, and who don't have people to love them or anything like that. Thinking of that just makes me so much more grateful.

I do admit that I do get in a lot or arguments with my parents and everything, and while I can't necessarily say that I love them, I do respect them an awful lot and am very thankful that they adopted me. I was about to be put on the 'non-feeding' list and I probably wouldn't have been alive today if it weren't for them. So just think about how lucky you are and just stop being that disrespectful.

gibberish

Who would do this. I love my parents. There are like seven people on this place who feel this way. that is all, my love.

SJM

Which ones?

kateiskate

*SIGH*

It really works both ways doesn't it?

You generalize adoptees as being biter, mean, nasty people who hate children, hate adoptive parents, hate rainbows, hate ponies, and want to let poor innocent orphans suffer and die in orphanages. You and other aps and PAPs constantly generalize us as whiny people who would
"get over it" if we were only a little more grateful we were not aborted.

I don't generalize here or on any other forums. If your Q & A reeks of selfish entitlement, I will say so. If you "get it" I will say so.

y n

your parents influence you greatly adopted or not. but you can't spend your life blaming someone else for what you do. this blame game is crap. you can be anything you want to be and you need to take responsibility on yourself. i am sure there are exceptions but most of us need to stop using our terrible childhood as an excuse.

Heather B

Aren't YOU generalizing that adoptees generalize this way

Just saying

BOTZ

My "OWN" parents are the ones I was born to.

The ones that adopted me? I think they are selfish, greedy, lying and manipulative.

Oh... and they are abusive.

(Here's the part where you tell me how "ungrateful" I am because they "saved" me and gave me "a better life".)

News flash -- I am; I didn't need to be "saved"; and they didn't.

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