Adoptees, if you had not been adopted and stayed with your natural mother....?

Lillie

I would have been raised by my mother AND my father as they got married a few months after I was given away. I would have grown up with my siblings and entire extended family, who are a VERY close-knit bunch and do everything for one another.

cantstopLinnyG

No. My N parents have post graduate degrees. They have traveled the world, and all of my siblings have college degrees.

My a parents are "lower middle class" as far as their incomes went. Higher education was not stressed. You could probably even say I was poor growing up.

kateiskate

I have no idea what kind of life I would have had. My birthday would probably be a real date instead of a random date manufactured by health proffesionals on my behalf, I would have had the chance to bond with the woman that gave birth to me, I would have knowledge of where I came from.

Knowledge is a powerful thing..

Rowan

i would have been raised by a 24 year old stripper and a slightly older(i dont know my bio dads age)man who worked nights loading stock onto trucks.

She did not finish high school, so yes, she would have been uneducated. Poor, thats debatable. I think, had she kept us, she and my bio dad might have tried to find better jobs. Whether she would have found one, who knows.

The sad fact is, she just could not cope. I have found out she was mentally unstable before we were born, and keeping us probably would not have been in our best interests. It makes me sad for her. .

army21wife

My adoption story is sort of different than most.Yes,my mother was poor,uneducated,and single.But she was also 35 with 5 other children besides me.My brothers and sisters ranged in age from 4 to 17 when I was born.Now,my mother is a GED teacher who is married and very into my kids' lives.

As far as my adoptive parents,they are what you would say as "middle class".They made too much for me to get free lunches at school but not enough not to have to scrape to pay for them.They made too much for me to get medicaid but not enough to be able to pay for a dr. outright.My mother and father worked very hard to make sure I had opportunities(sometimes 2 jobs).

Furthermore,I am a teen mother and I have worked hard not to be the stereotypical teen mother you describe.My life may not be perfect but it's the best I can do.

BOTZ

No.

As it turns out, I was ADOPTED into a life of poverty. Not by teenagers, though -- quite the contrary. My APs are old enough to be the parents of MY PARENTS. They are also educated -- not that it did me any good...having a degree does not prevent one from abusing the vulnerable; nor does it ensure income (ANY income, not just HIGH income). My APs have declared bankruptcy...not once, but twice.

To fully answer the question, I would have been raised by a well-off, educated, ADULT woman and man. My Mom was over 20 when I was born. My Dad WAS 20. Both have college degrees, one post-graduate. Both have families (are married and have more children) and they have never suffered poverty nor wanted for anything basic, or even a few luxuries.

Heather B

No! My Mom was a medical student at the time she had me and went on to qualify. Actually, my kept sister had oodles of opportunities that I missed out on!

Adoption does not necessarily mean a 'better life' I have an aversion to people who state that as fact, when their crystal ball is spouting dangerous nonsense

SJM

My mom's too good to pump her own gas. A year or two of trying to make ends meet wouldn't have hurt her a bit.

I wasn't relinquished because my parents were in poverty. I was relinquished because my grandfather was worried about what the neighbors would think. Neither of my parents are hurting, and I'm sure they would have done everything in their power to make sure we had running water, wood floors, glass in the windows, and all that.

Jackie B

Maybe if I stayed with my mother, I would have lived the life you described above. Or maybe I would have been the catalyst she needed in order to get educated, enabling her to support us, regardless of her age and maybe she would have ingrained it in me that I could rise above any obstacle.

But it didn't happen that way, obviously.

This is not a question anyone can answer. I don't know, she doesn't know, no one knows. Speculation changes nothing.

Lori A

Hard to say, maybe I would have gotten away from my family sooner than i did if I had her as an incentive. Maybe I wouldn't have drank away most of my life wondering where she was and how she was doing. maybe I would have gotten an education sooner. I did quit drinking on my own before meeting her. I did get a GED, I did attend college all on my own. (something my family thought was a waste of time.) If I had kept her and not taken the initiative, she would have no doubt suffered.

Mei-Ling

Heck no.

A mentally stable woman - my mother - would have raised me.

How do I know this?

www.wretch.cc/album/ryohei1013

Because of my biologically-kept sister.

marycollette@rocketmail.com

My birth Mother drank heavily while she was carrying me, but she as not a teenager that I know of. My adoptive family was a way better situation for me.

sunny

No.

I would have grown up in wealth and privilege. I would have had ample educational opportunities. I would have traveled extensively. I would have known the love and encouragement to become my best self.

Instead I grew up lower middle-class with adoptive parents who discouraged education or self worth ("Who do you think YOU are?!") I wasn't allowed to ever participate in one extracurricular activity, and began babysitting at 12, and real work in restaurants at 14. I never traveled out of state, except with a girlfriend's family.

All due to the 'miracle' of adoption in a time when people believed that children were better off with MARRIED people, as opposed to their own mothers, and the young men (who impregnated these women) were allow to shirk their responsibilities.

I'm just grateful that my children have/will benefit from my natural family's 'gifts'.

Laurel J

No, I would have been raised by an upper-middle-class, educated single woman over 21, probably with help from her mortified parents. I truly believe we both would have been miserable and that I did have more opportunities with my a'parents.

But no way did she fit the stereotype. My a'mom says one of the state social workers they talked to couldn't shut up about that, as if my mother were the only "nice girl" to ever "get in trouble." It's just not true.

Oh, and you forgot "drug-addicted" and "squalor." All children who are kept instead of relinquished live in squalor.

equineriderfourlife

I probably would of had money struggles yes as my mother was 18 and not in school i believe.
Though my birth mom supposveily really loved me didnt want to give me up but she knew with everything that it would be better.
Well still haev money problems in the family im in but I definatly have been able to really explore evertyhing which might of been lost in Russia. Though my mind i would push for thing probably but being adopted and coming to the US has very likely giving me more oppertunites and things then I would of ever had back in Russia.

Dreamweaver ILF posse 2009

Wow...

um no. My bmom was 35 years old, married, and had 3 teenage kids.

Me as a bmom....My family was wealthy, but yeah, I was a jr in high school and single. My parents (in their late 50's) would have ended up having to raise him more than me...at least for the first 3 years.

~~ little miss horsaholic ~~

omg my mom was like 13 when she got me, so I would have DEFINITELY been raised by a poor, ... mom.

Randy B

My crystal ball has been in the repair shop for some time so I've never really settled into the "what if" pattern of thought. I've always just played the cards I've been dealt and its work well for me thus far. I could have been raised by someone as you describe. I could have been raised by someone rich. I could have been raised by someone average. I do know how I was raised though and I'm quite content with that.

Ali

1st
"poor uneducated and single teenagers" are ignorant sterotypes.
not are natural mothers are any of those three.

2nd
some people just can't handle a child at that time, so the choose the most WISE and EDUCATED choice, adoption.

3rd
most natural mothers pick a family, so they go into good hands.

Ok I am neither but i will answer from a natural mother i know. She was working two part time jobs with no health insurance and made to much for medicaid. she was in college. If she kept her child something would have to go probably school because she needed the money. The baby would have had to go to free clinic she would not of graduated. She had no help from her family before getting pregnant even though her dad made over 6 figures. They really disowned her when she became preganant out of wedlock. She believes and so do I that she would not of finished school and she would of been in one bad job after another. She was living in an apartment with her boyfriend out of state and had no body to assist with child care, etc. The boyfriend who she is no longer with was a pot head and she admits she was in a bad situation out of teenage love (she was 19 and followed him out of state when his parents kicked him out)
She has a home now still single no kids and is doing well but she attributes that to giving her baby up. She thinks she would have a very different life if she had kept her child.

gibberish

Sadly, yes, this is the case for me. I never ever in a million years would want to be raised by my birth mother.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: