Adoptees in reunion with their fathers?

SJM

Yes. I have a better relationship with him than with my mother. It's a different bond than with my mother. My mother and I were trying to repair a relationship that had been disrupted. My dad and I were beginning a brand new relationship. They were different experiences. Also, my adad and my then husband were trying to butt in on my reunion with my mom. When I met my dad, I didn't allow anyone else to meet him or even know about it until we had a chance to get to know one another. They were just very different experiences for me at least.

ETA: I should add that my dad never knew his mother, either. She died. Although it wasn't the same as adoption, we did at least both understand the loss, and it gave us some common ground.

JennaBear

My n-dad was THRILLED to be reunited with me! My relationship is so much better with my n-dad than my n-mom because he isn't struggling with addictions and doesn't force me to be a child again. To be honest, I feel more of a bond with him than my n-mom. I even look just like him. Meeting him was the best decision I could have done in my reunion!!!

cantstopLinnyG

Yes.
Awesome.
No, because the bond is different with a father. Its not as "primal" as it is with the mother, as the mother carried us. It is a familial bond, though.

L.A

Yes he was happy although he lives in another state we talk often and he has visited a couple of times. When I found him he remembered my birthday and all his family knew about me !
On the other hand my mother had told no one about me not even my grandparents, she didn't remember my birthday and after contact for a year or so dumped me again.
Now after 11 years she is calling trying to get back in my life, Im ignoring her calls..........
I feel a bond with him and nothing for her !!

âœ§ â“â“˜â“›â“¨ â™¥ kaelers, emy & bella

I am, have been since I was a teenager. It might sound cold, but no, I wasn't happy. I wasn't unhappy, I was just rather indifferent to him for a while. I was actually far more comfortable with his wife and my little half-sister, both of whom I took to immediately.

He wanted to be in my life and more of a parent than I was or am willing to let him be. While I do like and respect him, I don't think of him as a father. I have two fathers - my adoptive parents - and though I know he would have been a fantastic father to me had he been told of my existence, he was not there and I will never consider him to be on the same level as my parents.
That said, as an adult, I have a very good relationship with him as close friends. We live in the same area, so our families often get together and the lot of us all get on very well, provided he respects his boundaries as far as acting like a friend and not a parent. I know that bothers him at times, but that's simply how things worked out. I'm glad to have him in my life, though, as well as his wife and my sister.

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