Adoptees with infertile amoms: Did she have her infertility issues worked out before she adopted you?

Anha S

Amom without a doubt had not worked through her grief and issues. She jumped right in to adoption, using it as a "fix all"

Yes, it very much affected my childhood. I knew, quite well, that the only reason my abro and I were adopted was because her body failed her.

Emily

I was adopted by an infertile mother, and by the time my adoption was finalized, I think it was about 7 or 8 years after she had one of her ovaries removed because of a tumor on it. The first few years she felt like she had no other option, but then colleauges from work told her about adoption (since many of them had adopted children themselves. My parents put in an application, and I am now proudly their only child.
All & All, I think at first she was disappointed but once she discovered adoption, she realized that infertility didn't matter, and that adoption was the answer :)

Erin L

Why is always assumed to be the woman who is infertile when a couple doesn't conceive? In only 1/3 of the cases is it solely the woman whose body is the only reason for infertility. COUPLES need to work through infertility if they don't conceive. The adoptive family friends we're closest to are a couple in which the man is infertile. HE had a lot of baggage to work through with that, SHE had a lot to work through to accept that, AND their relationship needed patience and work to get through it - and they did that before they adopted. I just think there is this undertone of hostility toward adoptive mothers on here in a lot of questions that really distracts from tackling real issues the way they are experienced by real families.

Sparkle

My amom (my aunt) was infertile but I didn't blame that as the culprit for everything that she had made me mad about in my life nor did I even care about her fertility issues it wasn't my business so I stayed out of it , as long as she didn't bring it into my life I minded my own business!
she was very nice to me she never treated me as second best nor did she treat me as a remedy to her infertility

*This is what I believe*

-Some women with infertility make great adoptive parents if they handle there infertility situation properly and adopt ethically and treat the achild like a family memeber and not a void filler

-Some women with infertility whom don't handle there infertility properly
and make horrible adoptive mothers, those women shouldn't be allowed to adopt

- Natural mothers make great mothers most of the time and this is great there is nothing better then a child being raised by his/her natural parents whom are good parents

-Some natural mothers are horrible mothers like my mother who abused me, those women should be allowed to parent

Its not the womens fertility or lack thereof that makes them a good parent its there personality and there natural character as a person, and ( how they handle situations in there life, like ''infertility'' ) is what makes a women a good mother .. period

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