Adopting a child from oversea's aged 3/4 and changing their name?

Anha S

I think it's not healthy for the child to be renamed at all, regardless of his/her age. For a child aged 3/4, they have been known by their name for all that time, and I think it is far too much to expect a child who has been torn away from their homeland, their language and culture, put them with strangers, and expect them to answer to a new name. It just seems cruel to me.

I think children of any age should be able to keep their name, adoptees should at least be left with that much of our beginnings.

Ms Minger

I think it would be incredibly selfish to do that.

At that age they are well-aware of their name, it's part of their identity.

Roger S

Well, if you adopt her, she will have your last name, your family name. I would suggest that you NOT change her first and middle. She can always pick a nickname that is local to your country if she wants that for herself later. By changing her name, you're saying that her culture and Heritage are not important. You should always value her culture and make sure she understands and is proud where she came from as well as were she lives now with you.

Mom to Foster Children

Why would you change a 3 to 4 year old childs name? I believe that maybe you could shorten it or give the child a nick name and maybe add a name of your own, but this is truly too old IMHO to change a childs name.

cantstopLinnyG

I think it's a dangerous idea. The child is gaining a new family, but has also lost so much already. Changing their name would really be an insult to him or her. Its a good way of honoring the child's past. Even if the child's past is not so great, his or her name will be the only thing they have of their past.

tish_part deux

no.

my 3 year old responds to HER name. most 3 year olds respond to their name.

there is no benefit in changing a child's name.

Ginny Jin

Ask them. At that age they can give you an answer.

kateiskate

In my opinion to change a child's name when you adopt them robs them of their identity. IA already face the loss of their culture, the loss of their first country, the loss of their first family, and often the loss of their language as they are thrown into the language spoken by their adoptive family. To change the name of a three or four year old (who is old enought to associate their identity with their name) would be emotionally damaging and confusing to the child.

Jennifer L

Unless a child brings it up and wants to have their name changed, I don't agree with it. Children are old enough to know their own names and that is a vital part of their identity. It's not for the APs to say that their name is too foreign or too difficult to pronounce.

Unless there is some major compelling reason, I don't support the idea of APs changing the name of children.

Independ"ant"

My opinion is that it would say a lot about the ignorance of the Ap.

Those types of people are lacking self respect and are not capable of giving it to others.

Adoption doesn't mean buying a child like you would a pet even though that is the current practice.

suniclouds

i wouldn't change their first name, at that age you respond to the name you have been given, like some one said when they are older you can give them a nickname that they can choose to use.

Beau.Gus

You don't want a child, you want a pet.

Sunshine

Friends of my parents adopted a child from another country whose name in this country was something embarrassing. Soooo, at home they'd call her her own name AND their loving nn for her which was "Sunshine". They'd sing to her lots of sunshine songs and when people (strangers, because their friends had already been clued in) would ask her name, they would speak up and say, "she is our little sunshine" because if they'd said her real name, it sounded like a swear. Still at home, they would interchange the real name with Sunshine which soon became Sunny. The mother said that about 3 mo. later, someone asked her name and before the mother could answer, the little girl said, "My name is Sunny" Good idea IF the name is one that would cause the child to be laughed at in our culture.

Philippa

Depends on what their name is? Sorry don't mean to sound flippant.

If it's a difficult to pronounce name or one that the child might be teased about then I would probably keep the original name as middle name(s) so they still keep it.

jack g

I don't agree with changing names - even for very young children - I think it gives the message to the child that their name wasn't good enough - they go through so much change already - what's in a name?

If they are old enough to be asked and give an opinion fine - but If not best left alone - or you could add some middle names - we did that for our son and he was just over a year old (not adopted from abroad though adopted from foster care)

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