Adopting children... (also, adopted people, can you help answer the 2nd part)?

Kazi

I adopted from China and my daughter was just over 9 months when she was placed in my arms.

As for ages, you can state in your letter to the CCAA that you are looking for a particular age, however, China is not filling orders and an age request is very low on their list of priorities. Some couples who have asked for under 12 months have received a 2 year old. The CCAA is looking for the right family for a child not the right child for a family.

Unless you are adopting twins (which is quite rare), then you can only adopt 1 child at a time from China and there needs to be at least 1 year between when you being your child home and when you can begin your next adoption process.

You mention stable relationship, are you married? Singles cannot adopt from China anymore and China does not recognize common law relationships.

China is looking at a horrendous backlog right now of about 30,000+ dossiers. If you were to begin the process now, you would be looking at least 4 years. I believe the more realistic timeline will be 5 or 6.

I would suggest either looking into other international programs, or you can look in your very own backyard with children from foster care. You can adopt a sibling group from foster care if you wish.

Good luck.

ETA: People like I DON'T CARE should just not be allowed outside. Crawl back in your hole.

Zuko

It's great that you're so interested in helping out children... but that's not a reason to become a mom. You don't become a mom because you want to help an unfortunate child, you become a mom because you WANT to be a mother.

As for adopting multiple children from China, why in the world would you want to adopt a whole brood at once... especially if you've never had a child of your own.

If you're dead set on adopting, go one at a time. Us adoptees sometimes have issues that require attention... attention that you might not be able to give if you have four other kids running around.

Be patient. Be understanding. And if, when your adopted child/children get older they want to find their natural parents, be supportive. Never ever make them feel guilty about wanting to find their biological family. It's not a slight on you. I can't possibly explain to you how important it is to my that my mom (adoptive) is supporting and helping me find MY first mom... and I'm one of the few that actually had a positive experience as an adoptee. (Also, keep ALL the paperwork from the adoption so that if your child wants to, they can find their fmom without a search that spans years.)

A lot of adoptees are not happy with their situation. I don't think it's like what you're assuming it is... "How did it feel when you got a family to love you and to love?" It's not all puppies and roses. It's not like they bring you a child and they forget all about what they've been through, the disappointments, their culture, their family... and even if they're infants, they still want to KNOW where they came from. I can't count the number of times I screamed at my amom "Well you're not my real mother anyway" when I was a kid. Even though that's not necessarily the way I feel, I said it to hurt her (as kids will) and it worked. And be prepared for your child to come home one day crying because some snarky ex-friend made a comment. 'At least MY parents WANTED me.' (I still remember when that happened to me... and I felt awful.)

These are all things you have to be prepared for. Adoption can be a really rough road. Don't go into it with the expectations of a lifetime movie. If you do go into adoption, go into it with your eyes wide open.

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I'd also like to say that not tell them is Ridiculous!!!!! I can't think of anything more dishonest! My parents have been slowly explaining to me since I could talk that I was adopted. No abandonment issues here. If you wait until they're older and let them go through their whole lives believing that you are their biological parents, they'll hate you for it. And they'll never trust you again.

How horrible.

Independ"ant"

Help use that money from the wealthy family to help family's that want to keep their child but are forced to place them in someone else's care. A lot of children grow up resenting their a-parents.

Jeff G

I am going to be honest with you. If you want to adopt its a great thing, but don't adopt from china, adobt a kid that will fit into your family, one that will look like you and act like you. It will make it easy on him or her. Also, never ever ever ever tell them they are adopted, it messes thier lives up so much. I was adopted and we all have abandoment issues, trust issues, and all sorts of stuff. You best bet is to get a child and just raise them as your own and never tell them they were adopted.

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