Adopting through foster care?

Randy B

Our adoption was of an infant through Foster Care and it worked out wonderfully. We also adopted internationally once and that worked out wonderfully as well. Of course, every ones experiences are different.

There are plenty of children in the Foster Care system who are available for adoption. Infants, toddlers and teens. Some age groups have more children available then others. The amount of time you spend waiting for a match will depend upon what you stated you are desiring in a match.

As I understand it, there are two systems working in conjunction. Children in foster care waiting till they are able to go home and those children in foster care who will not be going home but who wait in the system till they can be adopted. The only reason they are in foster care is because there are no orphanages (or not that many) any more so they stay in foster homes till they are adopted.

Call your local Children's Aid and speak to an intake worker. They can answer all your questions accurately as pertains to your area.

Expect some negative comments here but you will also get plenty of good sound advice from people who have been there before you. Contact me through my profile if you have any questions.

Zeena

Don't worry about those who claim that you shouldn't adopt because you are infertile.They are just bitter people.

I would go to your local adoption agency and ask them information.Perhaps google foster care adoption for your county.

Rebecca

I know two people who began fostering children and ended up adopting them, so I don't think you should have many problems. The best thing to do is start taking classes with your adoption/fostering system. The classes take a while and you must complete them before you adopt. My sister has been taking classes to begin adopting, even though she can have her own children, she just wants to adopt as well. I would also like to one day.

I wish you all the luck with fostering and adopting, don't listen to people's negativity. Sorry I couldn't be of more help but hopefully someone else will have more experience.

Looney Tunes

Why is there so much confusion in the world?

There are TONS of kids in foster care who are "legally free" to be adopted and WILL NOT be going back to the bio-parents. All ages, races, and both genders. Although getting the "prized baby or toddler" might be more difficult and you might actually have to foster them while the rights of their parents are being terminated or while the parents are trying to work their case plan.

HERE ARE THE STATISTICS
Of kids in foster care:
50-60% will eventually return to bio-parents
10% in kinship care
5% are missing

..that leave ~20% WHO NEED HOMES.

And lady, kids are always better off with their bio-parents if they are not abusive and neglectful.
Children NEVER EVER get over losing their bio-parents...so to say that children are better in foster care than returning to their bio-parents, you need to read something about CHILDHOOD BONDING, DEVELOPMENT and WHAT IT IS LIKE BEING A FOSTER KID.

In fact, many foster children who's bio-parents were TPRed return to them when they age-out of the system...even if it was abusive. Why? Because they will always want the love of their bio-mother.

READ, READ, READ, READ, READ, READ

wifeandmom

honestly there is a chance but life is about taking chances. If you go on adoptuskids.com you will be able to find children who are up for adoption. It also says if they are legally free for adoption. Good luck. It will be rough but also great. The day you walk out of the court room with your baby will be like going home with them from the hospital. For us it was like we were a new form of family when we walked back into our house. Something I will always remember.

aloha.girl59

I adopted my son through foster care 5 years ago. He is now 7-1/2. I too went through infertility treatments. At the same time, my (then) husband and I contacted L.A. County's DCFS so that we could begin the process of adoption. I wanted to be a parent. It didn't matter to me whether or not I gave birth to a child; I just wanted to be a mom.

My son's first mother's rights had not yet been terminated when we brought our son home. My understanding is that that is true for most children in foster care. The county does not want to make the children wards of the state by terminating parental rights before the children are placed in permanent homes. However, if the child you are matched with is being placed with you as a foster-to-adopt child, then the likelihood of his or her first parents' rights being terminated is quite high. Reunification is the first priority and only when the first parents are unable or unwilling to complete their programs (parenting classes, drug or alcohol rehab, etc.) will the children be placed as foster-to-adopt. At least I found that to be true in Los Angeles County.

With adoption there is always the possibility of the children returning to their natural parents, which is best for the children if the parents are able to take care of them. When that is not possible, their kids are placed in foster care. These are the children who truly need homes and loving families. Try not to be discouraged or worry too much about reunification with natural parents. Keep in mind that it is BEST if the child goes back to his or her first parents! Though it will make you sad, adoption is supposed to be about the child, not the adult(s). Prior to being matched with our son, we were matched with a 5 year old girl and were thrilled. It was heartbreaking to us when the little girl's grandfather was located and said that he would take guardianship of her, but we knew it was best for the child to be with a member of her biological family. Reunification DOES happen but it is always in the best interest of the child for him or her to be with biological family members who are willing and able to care for them.

Hang in there and do what you need to do, including research and lots of reading, to be the best AP you can be.

Mei-Ling

"My husband & I have been TTC for several years"

As you stated:
TTC = Trying to Conceive

Which usually means that if you can't conceive, you start looking into adoption. Which means it's the second option/choice. I would not want to assume that people feel that way, but when such statements are made like the above... I can't help but get the impression that that is what they think - because the first natural option - having "your own" - may no longer be there.

I encourage you to do foster adoption rather than international adoption. No child wants to be taken from their homeland, culture or native tongue.

True, I've heard other prospective parents say "It's not our second option, it's our ONLY option" but the point is that IF many adoptive parents could conceive, they would - implying that adoption is "not as good." The adopted child is *usually* (not always) the second option.

I understand that this whole conceiving issue has to do with wanting to be a parent. But when people put it THIS way - "we've been trying for x number of years to conceive and are *starting* to look into adoption" - the whole "trying for x years" makes it sound like adoption isn't as good as. As if it's the "next best" option because the implication is that conceivement is "better."

Yes, you are human beings and you want a child to love and raise. You want to be parents. You want that little bundle of joy and you want a family. But from the adopted child's perspective... can you see how they might think of their adoption as being "second best"?

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

adopting a kid doesn't "fix" your infertility.

the bottom line is that you are only adopting bc you can't have kids. so, the kid would be your second choice, and they will always be aware of that.

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: