Adoption: Good or Bad? ?

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

DO you think adoption is a good idea?
Yes and No, but not your average adoption. If the adoption is from Foster Care, or even *SOME* international aoptions, then they can be the best option the child has. I don't think it is a "good" thing, but maybe the best we've got. I prefer Permanent Legal Gaurdianship. *Might I also add: Adoption is NOT the cure for infertility. The child you are parenting is different from the child that you may have had. I have no problem with someone who is infertile adopting, the same as I have no problem with a gay, or single person adopting, but if you are only adopting because you can not have a child naturally, then that is WRONG! If, after you have come to terms with your infertility, and gotten past the emotional harms of that, and you STILL want to parent an ADOPTED child, then go ahead*

What about gender discrimination?
HATE it! I do not think that children should come cooked to order. Now I do understand that If you are adopting an older child that has "issues" then you need to be prepared and able to handle it. Not every couple can. If you know that you cant handle a child with ______, then you should acknowledge that. I am NOT for placing children in homes that can not meet there needs.

Age discrimination?
Again, HATE it! I do not give a rat's *** if you only want a cute little BAYYYBEEEE! Guess what, adoption is not about YOU! It is about the child. I think it is sick that people can not love a child because they are older than 3!

Wealth Discrimination?
It is wrong! I do not think that poverty should be a reason to separate a family, same as I don't think that only rich people should be allowed to adopt. I do however think that if you are going to adopt, then you should be able to care for the children. I am happy to have my tax dollars help a mother and/or father keep their children, and to help a family that has adopted from foster care. But domestic infant AP, too bad, your on your own!

Psychological well being of the adopted kid?
Adoption comes from loss, and that should be recognized. Honesty should be key, and emotions should be validated

So is Adoption a good altternative to abortion?
Not only is it not a "good" alternative to abortion, it is not an alternative at ALL! People have already explained why. However, even if it was an alternative to abortion, I would still rather see a woman have an abortion than to relinquish her child.

Lori A

I have not read the other answers you got but you need to understand that the two have nothing in common. I am confident that this will be point out to you by others. I am pro choice, as sad as it makes me to say that, I will not force a woman to follow through with a pregnancy just because she was designed to do so. It has it's own inhumane affects.

There will always be a need for adoption. Again as sad as that makes me to have to say it, it is the truth. I hope for the day that ALL adoptees get the homes and the nurturing that they need to sustain a somewhat normal life.

I don't think I see gender discrimination in the sense that one gender is preferred over another, but I do not agree with selection.

I think there are huge amounts of discrimination when it comes to age and I wish that there weren't. I think some people are still under the impression that babies are blank slates, and that again makes me sad.

Wealth is another huge area of discrimination. I would love to see ratification in areas where money controls adoption. I hope for the day that families are more important than haves and have not's.

Psychologically children of adoption will always suffer, but that too could be majorly changed and minimized if people would only listen.

Mom to Foster Children

To clear things up for you a bit!

Adoption happens AFTER the child is born

Abortion happens BEFORE the child is born

There is no comparing the two of them as they have nothing to do with one another

You can't begin the adoption process until AFTER the child is born, therefore abortion is not an option, just like you can't think about starting the abortion process AFTER the child is born as it's too late.

Adoption in itself is more bad than good. A child must lose everything to make this happen. Now I do believe that adoption from foster care due to drugs / abuse...etc is a better idea than what the child is living through I don't necessarily think it's a good idea. What a good idea would be is that the resources out there for parents are actually used and they would "fight" for their children - but that is a fantasy world that I live in.

Mei-Ling

How does this apply only to adoptees?

You could say that ANY mother who wasn't certain about her first-time abilities at parenting could have aborted the fetus during the first trimester. Abortion is about choosing to carry the fetus to term. Adoption is about what happens after the pregnancy occurred. When you choose abortion, adoption isn't even in the picture because *gasp* you haven't even started parenting yet!

And when you choose adoption, there IS no choice for an abortion because the fetus has already been brought to term!

This whole abortion vs. adoption argument is ridiculous. I can see why it would hold some water up in an argument about abortion vs. religion or the morales, but against the adoption?

Come on, people.

horseychic

When i was younger i hated the fact i was adopted, however now i have my own 2 wonderful girls i am so glad i was adopted.
had i of been aborted i'd not be here now and not of had my girls, i realize if i were aborted i wouldn't know those feelings but i sure am glad i was adopted by my parents who have raised me since i was 3 weeks old.
wealth has nothing to do with it in my opinion, and nor should age.
adoption or abortion, what a choice, i am glad my biological gene pool mother adopted me instead of aborting me.

â™¥Tomâ™¥ (I'm a Girl)

Yes. Abortion is legal murder

crazychickizback

I think adoption as a whole is great- children get better homes, more love and stability, couples that wouldnt get a chance to parent get that chance. However I think the fees are outrageous and there should be no discrimination other than mental health. Its an excellent alternative to abortion, although I am pro-choice

Sophie

Good
Yes
Gender selection is fine
age selection is fine
what does wealth have to do with caring for children?
good
YES

Winterlieder

Adoption is one of the kindest things that can happen for a child who has been placed into state custody. It is a positive way of creating a family for the child who has lost their birth parents for numerous reasons. Adoption is a wonderful way to give infertile couples a chance at creating the family they have always dreamed of. There are millions of good reasons for adopting a child. There are also millions of wonderful experiences that come from the gift of adoption.

After you have adopted a young child. You are given as much back ground information as the Adoption Agency has on file. In some cases this is just a small portion of what you actually need to know about the child. Health issues is one of the top areas that we never seem to have enough information about, when adopting a child. Things like birth mom's health issues or birth dad's health history fall into this lack of information quest.

Other things that you need to know about your child are: Educational History, History of emotional, physical or mental abuse that the child may have experienced.
Treatment plans or history of counseling the child has or has not received after placement in state custody, does the child have any violent behaviors? Is there a legal issue pending with the child? Has the child ever been in trouble with the police?

All of the things listed above can give an adoptive parent insight as to what the child has gone through and if the child may need extended therapy after the adoption for any emotional, physical or mental issues. In which case the adoptive parent can respond immediately to the needs of their new adopted child.
Often helping to prevent on going trouble in the future family life.

There are bonding issues, RAD issues, ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) issues, educational delay issues, EMI (Emotionally Impaired) issues. The list of negatives and disorders can go on and on. To which no prospective adoptive parent can diagnose without living with the child and having the child evaluated for behavioral issues.

Leah Baby

DO you think adoption is a good idea?- Yes..because the kid gets a 2nd chance at happiness

What about gender discrimination?- is wrong

Age discrimination?- is wrong

Wealth Discrimination?-is wrong
Psychological well being of the adopted kid?- what do you expect when you adopt? the kid has been through a lot.!

So is adoption a good altternative to abortion?- Yes!!! Because the kid got to live, who cares about how the world economy is, the kid got to live...

hurtz-t-die

"So is Adoption a good altternative to abortion?" i dont get that sentence, but if you have a kind heart, and you are willing to put up with people being rude and mean spirited, then i think adopting a child that need a loving family/ parent is a good idea

beckski

To give a child a chance of life is always a good choice over abortion, which i don't think anyone could disagree with to be fair.

I think one of the reasons why woman choose abortion over adoption, is because they know if they gave birth they wouldn't want to give it up, i mean maternal instinct kicks in pretty much as soon as you hold that little bundle in your arms.

I think if your going to adopt a child, they should not have to meet a criteria, you adopt a child because you want to give them a loving and stable home.

Ana E

hey well i think adopting is very good bcause there are alot of kids with no dads or moms or they never met them and this is a good way to help them out. think about it this way if you were homeless would you want some one to give you a home and give you every thing you need or would you want to stay in the streets? so adopting is a good helpfull way to have a son or a daugther..

bridges

In both adoption and abortion:
You can pursue earlier goals and plans You can live independently
You will not have to parent prematurely You will be free from the financial burdens of parenting You will have the freedom to choose if you want to have a long-term relationship with the baby's father You can resume your education or career

in adoption :
Your pregnancy ends with giving life
You may feel good and positive about your choice You will remember giving birth
You baby will have a future
You can hold, name, and love your baby
You have a choice to have contact with your child

abortion:
Your pregnancy ends with death
You may feel guilt and shame about your choice
You will remember taking a life
You will never know or treasure your baby
Abortion is final: you can't reverse your decision

Mad,Mad World

Adoption is a WONDERFUL alternative to abortion. As long as the adoptive parents are capable of taking care of the child, they should be allowed to do so. In my opinion, abortion isnt even an option. Adopt!

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