Adoption. Good or Bad? Expensive or Worth it?

Gaia Raain

Bad, unless necessary. If a child in another country is in need of a home, every effort should be made to find them a home in their own country, where they will be able to connect with their own people, their own culture, keep their own language, etc.

It's free if you adopt through foster care.

The child doesn't care if s/he is raised both the same. They KNOW they're different, and no matter how many hugs you give, it doesn't change facts.

MamaKate

Dear Jay,

Before you consider adoption, please, please, please, EDUCATE yourself about adoption. While it seems like a nice idea and is usually portrayed as a wonderful thing, like anything else in life, it is not black & white but in fact many shades of gray.

Raising an adopted child IS NOT THE SAME AS RAISING A BIOLOGICAL CHILD. Adopted people have four parents, not just one or two and no paperwork, legal mumbo jumbo or even love and time can ever change that fact. Aside form this fact, there are many things you need to consider about the future needs, emotions and well-being of the child you would be raising. Adoption effects people in many ways and you need to be prepared for the emotions and possible issues that can arise. International adoptions can be even more complex.

You need to understand that adoption should be ALWAYS, UTMOST and FOREMOST about THE CHILD. It should not be about "checking something off" or about the altruistic desires of adults.

Please consider adopting from your local foster care agency. There are literally thousands of children who need loving homes and are legally free for eligible families.

If you are truly interested in adopting, please make sure you do it in the most ethical and healthy way possible. Please stick around here, read some blogs and informational sites (not run or promoted by agencies!) and read some books before you make the decision to bring a child into your life through adoption.

Here are some things to get you started:

Blogs:
http://harlowmonkey.typepad.com/harlows_monkey/blogolicious/page/2/
http://warriorwoman1.blogspot.com/
http://antiadoption.wordpress.com/2008/10/13/adoptees-are-special-pain-love/
http://adopted-abused.com/nl/content/murderous-thoughts
http://chezblot.blogspot.com/

Websites:
http://www.adoption-articles.com/adoption_ethics_oxymoron.htm
http://www.adoptioninstitute.org/index.php
http://www.ethicanet.org/itemlist.php?pagestyle=itemlist
http://adoption.state.gov/about/how/hague.html
http://www.unicef.org/media/media_41118.html

Books:

The Primal Wound: Understanding the Adopted Child
Nancy Verrier

Journey of the Adopted Self
Betty Jean Lifton

The Language of Blood
Jane Jeong Trenka

Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew
Sherrie Eldridge

This is just a small sampling of what is out there. Please take your time - if you have room in your heart to adopt, please make sure you do it in the best way possible. Good luck and hope to see you back here again!

maybe

"It's one of those things in life that I'd like to check off."

That has to be the worst reason for wanting to adopt that I've ever heard.

Sofia

It is a long process. I know people who are adopted and there parents had to go through rough interviews and years of waiting.

In the end though, the mere fact that you are changing the life of a child is worth it. I think for the majority of adopting parents, the money and time spent on the adoption process is insignificant once you get your child.

Good luck, you will be doing a worthwhile thing.

chef ramsay is HOT!

its not that easy.

ppl who cant have kids gets in the list first or unles ur a multi millionaire and pay ppl off

we wanted to adopt but we couldnt due to some rules 1 being we already had 2 children it was insane!!!

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