Adoption Problems?

This is a question from my cousin.
"I am 11 and I am an only child. I want a sister my age really bad an dmy parents said we could talk about it. But they said we would probably need to adopt like a 2 or 3 year old. Would an 11 year old be ok? Maybe a 5 yr old? Please write what you think a good age would be. Oh and my parents are 36 and 42." That was the question. Please answer she is really very lonely.
Additional Details
This question is from her parents "We know anything older than 3 may have bad memories. But the couldnt be like horrid memories could they? But if they were like ok memories we are working on kepping those memories out of her mind if we got her. Would that work?"

Lillie

Maybe your cousin's parents could get her a puppy or a pony instead, you know they are really loyal and fun to play with, and won't have all that baggage that us nasty old adoptees do.

Ted

You don't adopt because you want a playmate. That is the wrong reason. This is a real person that we're talking about, not a Kitty Kerri-All doll (for those old enough to know what I'm talking about).

Kassy

For your cousin:
There are no guarantees that a child your parents adopt would turn out to be a very good friend or companion for you. Are all of your friends best friends with their siblings?

I would think if you're lonely, a two or three year old isn't going to be the best companion for you if you're looking for someone to do things with, someone who you can talk to about things at home, etc.

I have a nephew who is an only child. He's fourteen, and he hates being the only child. His parents decided after having him that they really didn't like having children around, so they wouldn't consider adding to the family. Instead, my nephew spends time with my kids, he has taken them on as if they are his younger brothers & sisters, and my children love him to bits.

Also, I have a friend who was an only child and she chose for herself certain friends that became family for her. We've been good friends for over twenty years now. My children call her Aunt, and they love her very much.

If you and your parents really want to adopt, the whole family should work together on research and becoming prepared. But keep in mind that you could also reach out to friends or extended family to find what you are looking for.

Jennifer L

It's usually not a good idea to adopt a child the same age as a child already in the family, like a live-in playmate. This usually doesn't work out well.

Nahira

People gave really good answers. Another factor... a playmate/friend is not a good reason to adopt. The child will resent everyone because they were not adopted for love (Cinderella). If your cousin's parents want a child already, then they could consider it.

sk8ermom

Finding a 2 or 3 year old is extremely difficult unless you do international adoption. Actually under 12 is difficult domestically unless they do foster care first. It is true that most of these kids (domestic or international) have come from very bad pasts but many of them have delt with this in therepy and are really good kids. I wouldn't go for a sister your age. That can be difficult to have that compition in the house. Its known as "twinning" and it can happen at any age. I think 7-9 might be a good age if you are looking to bond with her and still play together.

wahine1990

Hi,
We have adopted a boy who was 10 years old from the Philippines. I have two -bio children. He was 6 months older then my son. He was about three years behind in school. The kids treat him like an older brother. He is a great kid. Now we are in the process of adopting a young boy. This could work out great and give you a best friend/sister. The boys go every where together . Just make sure you are not going to be jealous and remember everything is new to this child. You can see my daughter's web site
www.shoes4orphans.com
good luck

LDM

I don't think that adopting a child older than 3 is a good idea. Then they coud remember things that were bad while growing up. if you get a young child, they probrably wouldn't remember anythng bad or even sad that ever happened.

P.S. I am adopted

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