Adoption: Where do you stand?

julie j

Hi Kazi,

You fall into the mainstream of what adult adoptees here feel - that adoption should be reformed, pre-birth matching should be abolished, and records should be accessible to the adoptee.

I also agree with all of that too. What I would have suggested on your list would be to encourage kinship care and guardianship in cases where that is possible because it is in the child's best interest. That does not necessarily mean that all adoption should be abolished. Many adoptions are not necessary though.

My reason for choosing reform is because I believe that honesty is the best policy. It is time for the lies and secrecy of adoption to stop! Thanks for asking.

julie j
reunited adoptee

Gaia Raain

For me, I'm kind of between 2 and 3. I think adoption should ONLY be for children who need to be outside of their own family due to abuse and neglect, and when adoption is necessary, those children should have full access to their own information without restrictions (unless restrictions are imposed for safety reasons). And adoption should only be an option for PAP's who have spent plenty of time learning about what it's like to be an adoptee, and people who are willing and able to understand that adoption does not create a family without first tearing one apart (even if it's necessary to tear the first family apart due, again, to abuse and neglect).

I think some MAJOR changes need to happen, and I would rather that most adoptions didn't happen at all. I would gladly give up any chance I have at adding to my own family through adoption if it meant that adoption reform was well under way and heading in a positive direction for adoptees.

Dark_Fire_Angel

I suppose i am the pre reform. I'm a birth mother to a wonderful 15 moth old girl. I have an open adoption with her and i see her on weekends. My daugther has a great life with 2 very special people and it does make me happy not only did i complete they're life but hers and i see that. Now here's the part where your all going to hate me. I do think that if the birth parents willingly dont want contact from them they shouldnt be forced into it. I think they should give all the medical history they can and write a letter to them explaining why they wish not to ahve contact. My friend found her b mom and was hoping for a tearful reunion got a door slammed in her face and b mom said i dont know you or want to and i cant tell you how hurt she was. Like i said just my thoughts let the booing and thumbs down being

tish

door no. 2...

and to return adoption to it's original purpose of providing homes for parentless children and not children for childless parents, for profit.

Any answers please

I live in Australia where all adoptions are open.
I have a sibling who is adopted, and enormously loved.
She see's her birth father once every 8 weeks.
Unfortunately, her birth mother dropped out of the system, so my sister hasn't seen her for a long time

I'd have to say that open adoptions are about the truth

Cartier

I am a 2- but not just for adoption... for foster care as well.

Agape

2.

as an adopted child there are things I need to know that I can't find out even though I know who and where my bio parents are....

i.e. medical info... bio parents should be required to comply with ANY and all requests for medical histories of self and other bio family members...

Gershom

I am number 3.

I believe in abolishing the system and rebuilding it from the ground up. I do believe this will happen, it doesn't take a perfect world, and it will happen in my lifetime.

The system needs to be completely restructured so the kids who need homes get em' and those who don't, stay w/ their families!

no private agencies
no non profit agencies
no for profit agencies
no private / independant adoptions
unconditional access to birth certificates for the adoptee AND surrendering parents
fees should never vary on race
no pre-birth relationships
mandatory parenting time after birth
available parenting assistance
open records / open adoption if adoption is a must
nobody should financially benefit off of the adoption of a child
( i'm inclined to say remove the money entirely but I haven't thought that part out in depth yet )
surrendering parents don't get to chose adoptive parents
adoptive parents don't get to chose child

BPD Wife

I am pro-reform.

opedial

Number 2, I thnik the biggest reform area needs to happen wth private adoption and with adoption agencies.

sir_galahad_ks

I am super-pro adoption. I wish people would stop creating more children until all the children without paretns had a set.

Instead of reforming I'd suggest we think of being more informed. There are all kinds of misinformation floating out there.

Jennifer L

I'd say 2. I think opening the adoption records is a good idea. I'm still iffy on the pre-birth matches; I can see both pros and cons to it.

I don't think adoption should be abolished or "restricted" to only orphans or cases of abuse. If a woman makes an informed decision to relinquish her child for adoption, the state has no business coercing her to parent or to place the child only with family.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

3. since that will likely not happen, 2.

oopsydaisy

I have never really thaught about it until joining YA. You can put me in the Pro reform slot.

There are many things about adoption that need changing. I dont see adoption as a bad thing, aslong it is done for all the right reasons.

HappyMomAnna

2-- Pro reform (support adoption, but see areas that need to be changed: open records; no pre-birth matches, etc.)

I think there needs to be vast changes in nearly every area of Adoption.... But, believe the only way it will be abolished is when there are No Children who need substitute parents.

*

The OTHER Boelyn Chic

Number one for me!

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