Adoption and babyshower?

spydermomma

A shower might be something the family would appreciate, but I never think a surprise baby shower is appropriate, and certainly not in this case. You all should just ask her what she prefers, and what the family needs. Follow her lead. She might love to have a shower right away, or she might want to wait for a month or so, or until the adoption is finalized, or she might hate such things altogether. Just ask!

What they might really appreciate would be having someone coordinate meals for the family for the first couple of weeks. If each person made a nice casserole or something and froze it, that would be a wonderful gift. We had friends that did that for us, and it made settling in with our daughter so much easier.

And I really appreciated hand-me-down baby clothes as well. They go through clothes so quickly, and hardly ever have occasion to wear the expensive baby shower finery, but really need basic outfits to change into when they spit up or something. Also, if this is a newborn, get clothes for 6 or 9 month olds, because they won't get nearly as much of that.

Santa's Lil' Helper

My family and my husbands family gave me the BIGGEST baby shower under the sun.

However my shower was given eight weeks AFTER she was born in case dd's mom changed her mind. This will save allot of heartache because woman change their minds....it's their right....their child until they decide to sign the paper. Proceed with caution.

wholelottacats

I would say absolutely throw her a shower - but not right this second. Instead, could close friends (or one close friend who can pass along the information) ask what she NEEDS. If it happened fast, she may not have all of the basics (bottles, formula, etc.). You could help her out with those things now, then throw a celebratory shower in several weeks. Babies won't need most of the stuff you'd give at a shower for a little while anyway.

Throwing a baby shower and having a lot of people stopping by to see the baby is probably not what she needs right now - she may not have given birth, but she's still going to be getting little sleep, still be caring for a newborn. And the baby has been through a lot. Don't overwhelm them, but absolutely celebrate the new family when they've settled in.

grapesgum

I suggest that you wait until things are settled. The inconsiderate "birth" mother might change her mind and keep her baby boy.

ilovethemboth19

Well, seems like you'd be crunched on time to plan a shower. I'd say everyone should just bring a gift when you visit. If some people can splurge and go in together on some bigger things if she needs them, I'm sure that would suffice.

MayberryNR5

If it were me knowing how expensive adoption is...I would bring a little toy or something when you visited and then you could sneak a peek at what they needed and throw a shower later.

if you did not want to bring a toy you could bring a stuffed animal,frame, a box of goldfish crackers or a box of wipes.

or if you know her mom or sister you could call and ask if they have something in the plan..and then get the details then

Dwight

O NO
NOBODY has multiple accounts on here.

I think someone was jst busted in a lie.

Liar liar pants on fire

primalwhiteknight

My daughters adoptive parents had three showers thrown for them. I was even invited to one. We are very close. Anyhow, the one I went to was thrown a month after baby was born. So it doesn't have to be right away. I only knew they were gonna be the parents a few weeks before she was even born, so nobody had a whole ton of time to prepare.

opedial

Yes gifts are most welcome as is a shower.

infobucket

depending on what your friend is like, it may be really fun to have a baby shower. feel it out and ask your other friends that know her well if it's appropriate

Declan G

I would throw her a shower. My aunt adopted a little girl from China, and my family greeted her at the airport with balloons and flowers. Then we threw her a party the next day.

furfur

One of my fondest memories of bringing Em home is when all of the ladies in my family pulled together fourteen hours after the call came; took me shopping, out to dinner, and came back to my house to help get everything washed and set up. It was very non-traditional, but I certainly was showered nonetheless and I was really touched that everybody dropped everything at a moment's notice and shared in my excitement.

However, I have a friend who is an AP and an adoptee and she didn't want to celebrate until after the relinquishemnt period was up.

I would say ask your friend what she feels comfortable with and take her lead.

Daisy M

Throw the shower. You can plan a shower quickly and she will appreciate it.

dvcgurl

yeah u should because its also a celebration of bring the baby home it can be welcome home baby and congrats to the mother

GEE-GEE

I think you should do a baby shower maybe 2 weeks after the baby is born. I had a great baby shower about a month before I adopted my son. Its just a fun get together, but in your friends situation it is a meet and greet as well. I think it would be fun to go to a baby shower, and actually have the baby there.

The Frugal Shopper

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!

A shower after the baby comes home is very appropriate!

I had 2 showers, one was a surprise before my son was born.
The other was planned, as a semi-surprise (I found out about it) for after he was born, so they could all look, hold and take pictures of the baby.

YEAH!! Awesome.... congratulations... if you need help with ideas for a shower, just email me.

:-)

jonas lover

i think after she gets selted down with the new baby or child and all throw her a big baby shower and have lots of games and food and question games. make it fun and if she was close to the birth mom or even knew the birth mom maybe the both of them could have a welcoming baby shower/ thank you for the precious girft of life shower for the birth mom and give the birth mom pampering items

Mommy to Aiden Grant 7-30-08

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