Adoption....foster care question?

Hi! My husband and I have completed our homestudy for adoption, but we have to complete another section if we want to serve as foster parents (until we are placed with a child for adoption). Have any of you been foster parents? I think I may be a bit too emotional to be one, but I am very willing to try....we want a full adoption, but we feel like fostering may prepare us for an eventual adoption situation and that by fostering, if the child does become available, we will be 'in the running' for possible placements.....I am just a bit nervous about having the child/children for years and then having them go back with their birth families.....what should we expect? Any good or bad stories? Thanks so much!!
Additional Details
John: you are too kind for words! You are such a special person and I so enjoy reading all of your responses to my questions. I can't email you, but I hope that you will have the chance to read this. You always seem to put a smile on my face! Thank you and bless you!

wholelottacats

I am not a foster parent, but know several, and live a few doors away from the most amazing foster parents.
My experience is limited, but what I wanted to offer you was a quick thought, and something I've heard from many foster parents: you have to remember all along that the job of a foster parent is to provide a safe and stable home but that reunification with their parents is the priority, and as a foster parent, you need to be working towards that happening.

I'm not saying don't do it! I know of many foster-to-adopt parents who have had great experiences, and I know their amazing kids, too - proof that it can be amazing (challenging but amazing). But being a foster parent is different than being an adoptive parent, and one may not necessarily prepare you well for the other.

smartmommy

it can be very rewarding and very heart wrenching. sometimes it can lead to adoption, but sometimes the child will go to blood relatives or back to the parents, which isnt always the best, but the courts have rules to go by. love the children regardless, and treat them as your own...but prepare your heart for the ups and downs. lots of prayer and support groups help. best wishes!

ibu guru

The hardest part of being a really good parent is knowing when - and being able to - let go, whether the child is growing up or returning to its own biological family. There are many more foster children available than potential adoptees - and foster children need a great deal of love and a stable home. Can you provide what a child really needs - put the child's needs ahead of your own? If so, you could bring a great deal of love and joy to a child who needs that desperately.

Navan

My Dear Sweet, Sweet Jane. What you, and your husband are about to do, is very loving and caring. You can't lose by bringing a child into your lives/home. They will give you so much love and in return, and you become fulfilled in life. When child lives with you, it creates a bond with both of you that will never be forgotten even when they go away, they will always come home to you some day. This is what you live for. This, is a very big responsibility for you and your husband. I admire you both and wish you the very best, and congratulations.

want2adopt_IN

I have not yet had a foster placement, but you might want to consider foster to adopt programs. You could be placed with children who are likely to be available for adoption and be able to keep them in your family until TPR happens and then they officially become a part of the family.

inzbrkqt

I was 9 when my bio mom gave me away. She kept my siblings. I never saw her again. I stayed in the same fosterhome for the remainder of my childhood. My fosterparents kept so many kids it was like a revolving door. I became attached to many of my foster siblings that just were gone one day.

It has affected my whole life. Attachement disorders, etc. I do harbor some resentment that my fosterparents waited until I was 26 years old before they officially adopted me. Without them, I would have no 'family', but they waited until all possible sources of state-aid was exhausted . If they had adopted me when i was a little girl (i went so long wanting a mommy and daddy that would keep me AND all my siblings), that it was a little too much, a little too late.

My story is atypical. Most parents don't give their kids away after 9 years. I was available for adoption 3 months after I was placed.

.:Trophyâ€¢Queen:.

well i do recommend you =becoming a foster parent b/c it looks good on and adoption agency. but be sure that when you are to select what age range of kids you would like to foster you choose INFANTS no more than the age of 3 b/c kids that are older than that are such a hassle b/c the social workers are very anal about any activity the kids do.
also keep in mind that you have to to keep track of everything that has to so with the baby from what it eats, weights, clothing, and doctors appt and also court dates.
and well as far as getting emotional attached yes it will happen and it will be hard but you must learn to cope with the idea that fostering is only temporary.
good luck and i hope all works out for you, and soon you will have a child that will be forever a part of your family. xD

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