Adoption, pros and cons?

Mei-Ling

Speaking as a transracial adoptee who has been in online reunion for nearly 2 years, I'll give you an explanation of both sides.

The pros:

I was able to grow up in a loving family with the "bestest" older brother. I attended school, worked hard to get good grades. I wasn't much of a partier - I've always been the more withdrawn type in real life - you'd never know I had an outgoing side to me unless you got to know me, but I was friendly, I did have quite a few friends and I enjoyed my childhood.

My parents tried to take me to Mandarin school, as a child, but after 2 years of constant fighting about having me go to classes and having almost no interest, they gave up.

So I should say that they always knew one day there was the possibility that I would want to connect with my heritage.

Cons:

Being taken from a loving family to begin with. Losing the chance to have a happy childhood in my birth country and make friends with people who looked like me. Never learning how to write characters that made up the foundation of the language. Never being able to speak the language.

Reuniting online and hearing their voices but not knowing what they are saying, even after they call my name and I still don't know what they're saying. Now THAT'S painful - knowing your own mother is talking to you and having no idea what she's saying.

myst1998

Pros of adoption: None

Cons: Too many to list here

There can never be a pro when something causes so much grief, trauma and anguish for generation after generation.

Erica C

I'm not expert on adoptions but this is what I know:

adoptions taking place in some countries can be less expensive than adopting in the U.S. which could be why some people do it.

The pros to a closed adoption is that you don't have any one else to "share" your child with... in other words you are basically the only parent they know of until they are 18 and legally able to get info about their biological parents.

But an open adoption may be more comforting to the birth mother, or whatever P.C. term they are using for her these days, if she desires a relationship with the child. Some adoptive parents don't have a problem with this so they allow it.

Sick Of Your Ish

I think that a person who has obviously never been in this situation should not express their opinion about it.

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