Adoption queries?

julie j

Hi Titchy,

You are facing important decisions that will change your life forever. We people on Yahoo answers, we don't really know which choice is right for you. We can only offer general advice to help you sort it out. Ultimately, you should make sure that the choice you choose is one that you are most comfortable with and you can live with.

Don't do anything because somebody else told you it was the right thing to do. If you feel pressured by another person into a particular decision now, I guarantee that you will live to resent that later. Take your time and think about it. I recommend unbiased counseling to help you arrive at the decision that is right for you. That means if you talk to an adoption agency, you have to realize their goal is to get your baby, not for you to parent that child yourself.

The other thing I wanted to mention in order to help you decide is this: Your reproductive choices should not be based upon somebody else's ability or inability to have children, only upon what your own plans are.

At this point it looks like you are still considering either terminating the pregnancy or staying pregnant and delivering a baby. You do not mention how far along you are. If you are under 12 weeks, and if you do not want children now, then abortion is still an option. If you do want children now, then go ahead and have the baby. There are plenty of resources out there that will help you if you want to be a parent. Plenty of people who faced unplanned pregnancies went on to become fabulous loving parents!

The fact that you placed this question on the adoption section indicates you may be considering giving your child to somebody else to raise after he/she is born. Speaking as a mom, I felt attached and bonded with my baby long before he was born. Other moms have said it's when their baby is first placed in their arms. Now speaking as an adoptee, it's only fair to say that adoption does not always mean a better life for their children. It does mean a different life though. Most children prefer to be raised with their own families unless their families are abusive. If you feel you can provide love and safe care for a child, and if you have a support network, and if you believe in yourself, then you can do it.

Whatever you decide Titchy, best of luck to you.

peace,
julie j

Edit to add: FYI - "open" adoptions are not legally enforceable. Adoptive parents can and often do turn them into closed adoptions at any time and for any reason they want.

alimac20001234

I had an abortion when I was 18 and had to wait 12 yrs before getting pregnant again- dont do it have your baby keep your baby- I am a single, strugglin' mother if I can do it you can!!!

snowwillow20

Kill it or give it up, either way it will haunt you forever. I never had an abortion, but I placed my daughter for adoption and I regret it. Think long and hard before you do this, it's not just your life.

Elizabeth

Yes abortion is much better than adoption. the world needs more abortions.

Damocles

Please do not abort. You will become attached - that is natural. Placing your baby for adoption is one of the hardest things to do, but it is worth it. You need to do the math, do a budget, etc. and understand in concrete terms why you cannot keep the baby (and maybe you can), so that when that attachment kicks in, you have the facts. Good adoption agencies will have you do this, so that when the time comes, you are making an informed decision.

Most adoptions these days are "open" adoptions, where you can have continuing contact with the child as they grow up. It is best for you, your child, and the adoptive parents. As you see your child grow, with an adoptive couple who loves them and cares for them, you'll wonder how you ever could have thought about aborting such a wonderful child.

BPD Wife

This is a personal choice that only the biological parents can make. I am personally pro-life because of my own personal situation and the amazing child I have because of adoption. HOWEVER, I am pro-choice because I totally believe it is a woman's right to choose what to do with her own body.

Bryce

no.... if you dont want the child i'll be more than glad to adopt him.

Danie S

No. "Attachment" is what you make of it. If you want to be attached to your unborn child you will be, if you don't then you won't.

The fetus is inside of you. It doesn't talk to you, you can't "get to know it". So giving a baby up for adoption is not losing a child you 'grew' attached to. What women get attached to is their expectations of what the child will be, could be, might be. But those expectations are not reality. Raising a child is reality, there is where there is attachment or lack of it.

You said it yourself, "better to kill the".
With that logic you could say it is better to kill your 2 year old than admit you are a lousy parent and surrender the child to a better environment. After all you became attached to it.

"Its MINE and if I can't have it then nobody else will either."
Go get counseling before you do anything.

Pumpernickle

No do not kill the baby, if you don't want it then give it up for adoption. There are millions of families that can't even have babies...

I'm sure you will feel attached to the baby when he/she is born but you need to do what is best for him/her and give them to a family that wants them if you cannot care for them. Killing an innocent baby because you will feel attached to it is cruel.

Tsunami

no killing the fetus is like killing a person only this one can't help themselves and the fact they didnt' ask to be brought into this earth you did it. so therefore what you do is give it up for adoption and never see it after its born but there are now opened adoptions where you can see them etc. its your choice. take care.

Adoptionissadnsick

If you don't wan to parent, then yes, I believe it is kinder to terminate your pregnancy.

Gerry Atrix

No No No DO NOT KILL THE FOETUS.

At present it is just something growing inside you.
Some family will be more than happy to have the baby and love it.
I feel sorry that you felt you had to ask this question so publicly.

french_miester

goodness no. Even if you dont want to raise this child..you should give her a chance to live.she's a child not a choice...this child did not do anything wrong to deserve to die. " It is a tragedy that a child must die in order for you to live as you wish" - Mother Teresa.

I dont think you or anyone should kill your baby. There are so many great couples who cant have children of their own and would love to adopt. If you get atached to your baby thats natural maturnal instincts. If you have the means to take care of the child and you want to then do if not give her a better chance with someone else honey. Hope I helped

Crucio

Iâ€™d say no but Iâ€™m Pro-life.

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