Adoption versus Vasectomy Reversal?

Felicita1

Since when has adoption been the exact substitute for having a child of your own? Only if you believe that babies spring miraculously out of thin air to be available for adoption. Behind every adoption is a grieving mother, who in 69-98% of cases was coerced into surrendering her baby, often by poverty (which is entirely preventable when governments respect basic human rights) but also often by unethical agencies and baby brokers. It is America's largest unregulated profit-driven industry.

For every family "built" by adoption, another family must first be destroyed to make that child available. Unless you find an orphan with NO family at all, that child will still have a family and relatives out there, and even in a 'closed' adoption may one day return to them. I lost my son to such a "closed' adoption resulting from a coerced surrender and he returned to me and even asked to be adopted-back.

I suggest you go for the reversal. Unless you are prepared for the fact of a child you are raising having another family "out there" with possible strong social/emotional connections to them, don't adopt. It is not the same as having a child of your own.

Opedial

You may as well ask Adoption or painting your house. One has little to do with the other. If you want biological children, get the reversal. If you want to adopt, do some research and see the effects of adoption on people, and look into foster care adoption.

But don't base your decision alone on cost. Seriously don't.

celtic.piskie

Wouldn't it be wonderful to know, that if you did adopt,

that your parents chose to adopt you because it was cheaper than getting the snip.

Way to think about the children and not make US into commoditites.

Mom to Foster Children

Foster Care is free - can't get cheaper than that and these are the only children who need homes!

tish_part deux

the cost is that to adopt you are either 1) relying on an initial loss to gain a child; or 2) risking lifelong abandonment issues with your adoptee.

if you wish to have children, please do it yourself. your husband's reproductive health choices should not result in an innocent child's abandonment.

good luck.

Philippa

Ouch!!! go along the road of reversal first and research before you decide to adopt if that ends up being your only way to have children.

kateiskate

Get his vasectomy reversed and have your own kids. There are enough people trying to adopt infants to keep the corrupt adoption industry running smoothly without your help.

Tracey Seth

My friend and her husband had two kids nad he had a V afterward. years later, they decided they wanted more kids and he had a reversal. She is now expecting their fifth baby any day, the third kid since the reversal.

â™¥â™¥Ritaâ™¥â™¥

I think you need to ask yourself a question or two.

Do I want to adopt??

or

Do I want to have children who are my biological children??

or

Do I just want children to raise, nurture, etc.

Adoption should not be a replacement if you desire to have your own children. If you honestly want children who are not your biological children, then by all means adopt.

If you want to have your own children with your husband....then the reversal is the way you need to go. It may not be successful....but you will never know until you try.

Cost?? Hmmm, probably about the same when it comes right down to it unless you adopted from foster care which is where the need is for adoptive parents.

Just don't adopt because you cannot birth your own.....adopt because that is what you want to do. I strongly urge you to consider adopting from foster care in your state.

red elephants

In the US a vasectomy reversal appears to cost around $10,000 on average. It can be lower (4000) or higher (20,000). A google search brought that up.

Adoption can range from under $2000 through foster care to $20,000+ for infant and international adoption.

I'd hope there are other reasons you would consider adoption and not just because it might be the cheaper alternative. There can be a number of emotional issues with adoption so it shouldn't be gone into lightly.

MamaKate

Dear Lindsay,

Felicita, gave you a brilliant answer.

Any way you slice it, you and your husband are going to have to shell out some money to become parents. As another poster pointed out, adoption from foster care is the least expensive and most ethical way to go about adoption but with the process, you would be breaking about even with the cost of a reversal when you consider things like time off of work for court appearances and other "hidden" costs.

I think you need to think about the kind of parenting experience you want to have more so than the costs. For example, is it important to try for a biological child or are you cool with the issues of raising a non-biological child. There are big differences and different issues between the two and that is really what it comes down to. Not how you add the child to your family, but rather, what kind of parent you are comfortable and capable of being.

I wish you and you hubby the very best and hope that your family is able to grow in the happiest and healthiest possible way!

aeron2324

I would suggest the reversal first and foremost for you. There is nothing in this world that can compare to the feeling of life growing inside you, the bond is incredible. Also, depending on which state you live in the adoption process can be very lengthy, not that it would not be worth the wait. I personally would not trade anything for the experience of giving birth to my own child.

vasectomy refersals especially after 5 years only have a 40% chance of working or even less. They are MUCH more painful than the orginal procedure that is why they ask if you are sure you are done having kids

grapesgum

So your husband had a vasectomy because he did not want to have children and now he changed his mind and wants to have children?? Do you really want to have children with a man who is so ambivalent about parenthood?

Children (adopted or not) are not a commodity that you can turn on and off at will. Me thinks that counseling would be a good idea to understand why your husband can't commit to fatherhood.

Keine Kinder

Adopt!

A reversal has maybe a 25% chance of working without IVF. IVF will cost you about $27,000 per try. They do not tell you that when they advertise reversals. Also the quoted prices do not include follow-ups, etc.

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