Adoption vs Surrogacy?
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Adoption vs Surrogacy?
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If you have had to decide between these options, which did you choose and why? What did you find the costs to be? The pros and cons?
Will your insurance company cover anything for either option?
Additional Details
Adopting a child through Foster Care generally means adopting an older child (one who is likely to have a history of trauma and/or attachment issues) or a baby with "issues" (ie - drug-addicted or developmentally delayed). Foster parents could also accept a newborn into their home with the idea that they "may" be able to adopt him/her, only to have the child returned to the birth parent(s). Those foster parents who are willing to accept these risks are, without a doubt, "selfless" and I admire them and appreciate them greatly for what they do. But I wouldn't consider people who try to avoid these issues by opting to adopt privately or use a surrogate to be "selfish." I think of them as "aware of their limitations and what they are willing/able to handle as a parent."
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**JASMINES MOMMY**
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I'm sorry but I don't know very much about either as I am able to have my own children. But i do have a couple things to say. First dont let these idiots tell you your doing something wrong because NEITHER is wrong in any way. There is nothing wrong with either. The reason we are on the earth is to procreate. Thats what we are made for and how we have survived for so many years. Everyone can want to be a parent! My parents are foster parents and have been for many years, and a lot of the children going threw their homes that are older do have a lot of issues and if you cant handle them, then leave them for ppl who can adopt them and help them! Taking these kids into your home knowing that you cannot help them will not do any good for either party. There are many women out there who are pregnant and know they cannot have the responsibility to raise the child that want to find great people to adopt their baby. A baby that isnt born yet that regardless wont be with their natural parents. Yes it may be harder for an adopted child to bond with their parents but it isnt impossible. I have 2 uncles adopted into my family who are both now married with children and they are as much a part of our family as anyone else, and they see us as their family. The child may want to meet their natural parents one day but you will forever be in their hearts as you gave them a chance in life.
So whatever your choice, dont let these ppl on here get you down because you are doing a great thing giving a child, whether born yet or not or coming from your DNA a good home and a chance at life!
GOOD LUCK! |
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MamaKate is an Aunt!
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I have not "had" to choose from those particular options, but I would like to suggest adoption of a child whose parental rights have already been terminated, out of the foster care system as an option.
It is far less expensive and far more ethical than the given options.
ETA: Your reasons for people not wishing to adopt from foster care are cop outs. If someone "can't handle" something about a child, they shouldn't adopt OR have their own. NO CHILD COMES WITH A GUARANTEE - even biological ones. |
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tiffany<3
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I just cracked UP when you asked about insurance. Why would you create an adoptee using a surrogate when their are thousands of children in Foster Care that need a loving home? Why would you pay thousands to an agency to pressure a woman or to aid her into giving up her baby to total strangers when their are thousands of children in Foster Care that had to be taken from their families for very valid reasons? (They don't take those kids because mom's young and on welfare like the agencies, you know).
Choose NEITHER if you were talking about Adoption using an agency. Go the Foster to Adopt route.
So what are you going to do if the child you adopt through an agency or use a surrogate for have emotional problems? You do know that most children adopted as infants will have emotional, behavioral, or psychological problems. God, people that say stuff like that make me sick. You pass over all those children because you want a 'perfect' baby and not have to deal with problems? Think about how freaking snooty & picky & Selfish you sound. |
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Crabapple27
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Adoption. Why go out of your way to make a new person when theres already so many little people who need you. |
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AnnaBelle
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"Adopting a child through Foster Care generally means adopting an older child (one who is likely to have a history of trauma and/or attachment issues) or a baby with "issues" (ie - drug-addicted or developmentally delayed)."
Get over yourself. |
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Walter Ford II
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Neither.
Insurance shouldn't pay for either of them.
None of them are medically necessary. They are both just cosmetic. |
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LinnyG
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Neither, because I am adopted. You clearly need to be educated about foster care adoption, and attachment issues. "MOST" adoptees have attachment issues. We were taken away from our first Mothers and were expected to "bond" to complete strangers...and it does NOT matter how old the child may be- dripping wet with amniotic fluid, or months or years old. We are forever bonded to our first Mothers, and to our first families. We have their blood running through our veins. Adoptees in reunion see this fact...and it can never be denied. It is a scientific fact.
It is NOT natural for ANY child to attach to a stranger. While we do eventually "bond" with our ap's, it will never be the same as how we are bonded to our first Mothers. Hopefully you will educate yourself and realize that you WILL be raising a stranger, and it will NEVER be the same as raising your own flesh and blood.
Surrogacy intentionally creates an adoptee. Insurance should never pay for this. Adoption is NEVER a "need" for a parent. It is ONLY a "need" for a child if they have been abused or if there is no one in their natural family to raise him or her.
eat: "People on here can be so inconsiderate . I'm guessing they don't understand how hard it is when you find out you can't conceive a child of your own"
Ummm, yeah. People on here are also inconsiderate because they do not understand how hard it is when you have missed your first Mother your entire life, and cannot even comprehend what it is like to be raised by strangers.
Your infertility is of no concern to anyone- NOT EVEN THE CHILD YOU MAY ADOPT. Someone else's child will never fix the pain caused by your body betraying you. Adoption is NOT supposed to be about YOUR WANTS. This sort of entitled attitude is why adoptees detest the fraudulent and coercive institution of newborn adoption. It's NOT about YOU. Learn this, and learn this now. Raising a strangers child will never fix your broken body or your broken marriage due to the stress of being infertile. It will actually make those things WORSE- because that strangers child will forever be a reminder of what went wrong. Inconsiderate? Nope...just the truth. |
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Come Soon Lord Jesus
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I would adopt from foster care. Foster Care is free in some states or at least very low cost a couple grand which is pennies when you compare it to Infant or IA adoption. |
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to adopt a child from a stranger?
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| Foster child and 4-H? |
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 Wanting to go into foster care..any advice? |
| I am 21 years old and my husband is 29 and we are thinking about starting some classes to become foster parents. But I do have some questions...What are the income requirements?? Do you have to own ... |
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 What do you think is the underlying message in this Salon.com article? |
Here is the article, a review of the movie, Mother and Child, entitled ...'Why "Mother and Child" insults parents like me."
http://www.salon.com/lif... |
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