Adoption-where to start. ?

I'm only 20, and i'm looking to adopt when i'm a little older. I'll be finishing college in a year and a half. I can have kids, and I want to, but i'm still young, and don't even think about marriage yet. I was wondering from you all what you would think of a 24/25 year old single woman adopting a 3 year old to start with. Like, I'll have a really good job then, and I don't know it just feels right. Some states allow single parent adoption, and I would be open to any 3 year old who respected having a single parent who would be there for them. I'm really responsible, so. Any thoughts?
Additional Details
You asked: Why is it good enough for you to adopt a strangers child but not good enough to give birth to a strangers child? I have never been able to wrap my head around that one.

I say: because i'm 20, and i'm not in a relationship..There are just some people in this world i do not trust. I want to adopt because it feels like the right thing to do. If i don't get married one day, I would like to make a difference in a kid's life, and I would really like to make a kid happy..I'm educated, and I just want to give a kid the kind of life I have had..

Lillie

Adoption is a huge responsibility...and it is a forever deal.

How about joining a big brother/big sister organization or being a mentor? You could also consider opening your home to foster children, or being a crisis nursery provider. These types of people are often in short supply but there is a huge demand for caring people who are willing to do this. All these are very effective and excellent ways to "make a difference" in a child's life, as you say.

And who knows...maybe one of the children you are fostering will become available for adoption, and you can be the one to take on that responsibility. There are so many kids in the foster care system who really truly need homes and people who are willing to step up to the plate for them. If, when the time comes, you are ready to adopt, these are the kids who need you.

myst1998

You say: you are only 20... I say... forget about having kids for the moment. Get out and LIVE.... travel, experience life, see what this world is made of. Over the next 10 years, you don't know what could happen and you may meet the man of your dreams who you would like to have your own children with. He might want to have his own children. For the record, there is nothing wrong with wanting to have your own kids, its natural.

Don't try to engineer what happens in your life... what is meant to be will happen naturally. Enjoy your youth while you have it... its not around for long!

PhilM

Before anything else, you need to learn about adoption. Here are some reading suggestions to get you started:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

Andraya

I think you have a lot of learning to do before you adopt. Why is it good enough for you to adopt a strangers child but not good enough to give birth to a strangers child? I have never been able to wrap my head around that one.

Want a baby? Go find a one-timer and get busy.

Mei-Ling

I would suggest that you make sure you're completely stable before you consider adoption. If you adopt from an overseas country - do you realize how much it costs just to travel there? Let alone stay there for a few weeks while the adoption is legally finalized?

Plus there are a lot of issues involved in adoption. I also recommend reading adult adoptee blogs so you know what you're getting into.

I don't know about you, but at the age of 20 most young adults are too busy worrying about how much money they have for rent and OSAP and groceries... let alone think about adoption. :

Maybe wait a few years and then decide. And do some reading in the meantime.

collegegradsingle

In short, yes, you can adopt at that age. You will need to prove that you can financially take care of a child, however, it sounds like you have a good head on your shoulders and will do fine.

It is a wonderful thing to give a child a forever home, I would suggest start with the Dept of Social Services. You could help a child find a home and they will walk you through the process, plus, when adopting through the state they help with the costs as their is alot. The up side is that you will have your legal fees covered and a subsidy payment (90% of the time) to help off set the costs of raising a child.

I am 27 and also would like to adopt when I feel I could financially support a child as well....good luck!

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