Adoptive parents: Just how wealthy are you?

Neil

I know that there are a few wealthy adoptive parents who get a lot of tabloid coverage, but none of the adoptive parents I know (and I know a lot of adoptive parents) would in any way qualify as wealthy.

cruzgirlz3

My parents were not wealthy. We were basically middle class. My dad was in sales and my mom was a homemaker. My parents divorced and my mom went to work as a dental receptionist. We had a nice life but nothing extravagant. I admit that we did have a pool, but no ponies, and I bought my own car when I learned how to drive.

Randy B

Nobody asked about my finances other then requesting a recent pay statement to show I was employed. Its a stable job of 23 years thus far but no credit check was done and nothing other then the pay statement was requested.

I certainly don't consider myself wealthy but at the same time we don't have to fight the dog for his kibble. I have my bills and debts like others have and some months its a struggle but we make do and life goes on just fine.

Wealth, or lack of it, is relative to where you live. What I make here would not sustain our family if I was working 3 hours north. Then again, in most areas of the US I would be considered well off, even with the exchange.

Other then that, thats all I'll answer as the details are private.

Rowan

my parents were a single income family, we worked for what we had. Yes, they were a bit better off then my bio parents, but not by too much at first.

Anha S

Nope. I was raised just as dirt poor as I would have been in my first family.

Angela R

We adopted both of our children internationally (within 14 months of each other), and we are FAR from being wealthy. We knew we wanted to adopt before we got married, and started saving, and living frugally, and working extra hours back then, and so able to afford the fees with out really going into debt. We don't have a pool or a pony, but our kids definetly aren't doing without in the toy-department. (I'm a great bargin shopper)

About half of the adoptive families I know have similar financial situations as us because one parent decided to stay home with the children, even thought the other didn't make a ton of money. The funny thing is I've talked to several familes who were interested in adopting, and made over twice as much as us, but said they could never afford it (they also drive really nice cars, take lots of vacations, and live in expensive homes) I don't think it's about how much money you make, but instead what your priorities are.

I Love A Child With Autism!!!

We would be considered above middle class, but not the upper crust. We used to be quite wealthy, but we used a very large chunk of our savings to adopt our girls. After S, our first daughter, was born I knew there was no way in the world I was going to go back to work. I did not adopt my children so I could let somebody else raise them, and that was exactly how I felt about that. My husband agreed and now he is the only bread winner. We still live comfortably, but both of my adopted daughters are special needs so that costs us a large portion of money yearly too. So in the long run, with all things considered, at the end of the day we probably don't have any more $$$ in the bank than most other people. I don't care though, I got my happy family and my children are receiving the care and services they need to thrive, so that is more important to me than barrels of money.

ETA: I am also 7 years younger than our first daughter's mom and 12 years younger than our second daughter's mom.

kateiskate

My aparents weren't wealthy at all. They struggled to make ends meet and provide for us as kids. Gradually their income increased, but I still would not consider them wealthy.

International adoption was a lot cheaper when I was adopted. They got the money for it from a car accident that they had been in that killed two of their dogs and totaled their car. So basically I was adopted as product of a lawsuit...awesome, huh?

Mei-Ling

Hell no, my parents weren't rich.

Today, they still aren't. In fact they'll probably work till they're 70 because of mortgage and other... "luxuries" that they bought.

They would define themselves as "middle-class." Not poor, but definitely NOT rich.

yeahright

We lived like monks for about the first 4 years of our marriage to get out from under our car loans, credit cards, school loans etc that we brought into our marriage. Our goal was always to be able to live our lives on one of the incomes and save the other for retirement-which after very careful living we've finally figured out how to do and we've lived that way for about 10 years. Our vow is no credit cards, no loans etc and then I lost my job last summer--we were better off than most so we were ok until I found a job. Thank goodness, no cards, no car payments etc. Our truck has 125k miles on it and our other car is a hybrid we paid cash for. We were funding the kids college fund each month and we had to stop funding them for a while while we got back on track while I was out of work and gas prices went through the roof.

We have a mortgage on our house but about 1/2 is paid off and we pay a little extra every month. We keep a vacation rental but our mortgage/rent basically breaks even but we it use a lot for personal time with the kids, so we keep it. Who knows by the time we retire, it might be paid off and maybe the real estate market might turn around.

Not well off, no private jets, but not poor. We've been careful.

Heather Leigh

We are lower middle class in a two income household. And once the median income limits come out for 2009 we might actually be considered low income. Sad thing is that where we live, our income actually seems high, but if we moved to a big city, we could never make it.

We have the average debt, mortgage, car payments, some credit cards and a portion of ds1's college tuition and ds2's next year. But, we are making it. No pool or pony though unless you count ds1's used mustang!

Another adoption myth...I am about 10 years YOUNGER than ds3's other Mom.

Jennifer L

We consider ourselves to be middle class. Let me put it this way, we will benefit from Obama's taxation policy.

We are also younger than our children's firstmother by several years.

HappyMomAnna

We adopted our children (siblings) from the Foster Care system...

Money had nothing to do with our decision to adopt other then the fact that because we are upper income with zero debts we believed we would be able to provide our children with everything they needed.

We didn't choose the way we adopted based on the costs we chose the way we adopted because we wanted to adopt siblings from the foster care system.

I am a little confused by this Question which is asked to Adoptive Parents on the title yet the Actual Question is directed to Adoptees?

My definition of Wealthy isn't about Income but about Assets and Interests on the investments made. With Income only being part of the annual tax wealth of a family. I would consider parents with at least 2 million dollars of assets including personal property and real estate with a Taxable Income including investments and income over $250,000 a year as wealthy.~~ Wealthy people do not usually finance things including homes and generally don't define themselves by an annual income.

Linny G

My a p's were lower middle class by today's standards, and that was with both parents working. My Dad worked for a utility company, and my Mom was a secretary. They struggled to pay their bills, even borrowed money from my a Mom's uncle to pay for my adoption fees.

My n family was a different story.my n dad is a surgeon and my n mom is a college professor.

IDK!!

We are very middle class. This year I took 5 months off, but on average we do okay. 100K is not what it seems either, not when you medical expenses are at least 15% of that.

We do have a pool, but no pony. Sold the hot tub (sorry Gaia).

My husband does stay home and runs a business.

We live in a starter home with just enough room.

We've had the same vehicles for 2&3 years.

My kids have their own room, but end up with eachother every night.

No cable (New Year resolution).

To answer you question, we are deffinately not financialy wealthy and we don't do name brands and don't alway need new.

cmc

A lot depends on where you live. My husband and I had very good salaries by national standards, but living in the bay area in california we could only afford a very modest house (which was very expensive there). I know people who make far less and have houses at least twice as big with all the frills but live elsewhere in the country.

aloha.girl59

With just my income (I'm now divorced), we're middle class. With my ex-husband's, we'd be very upper middle class. He makes almost 3x as much as I do. I am a speech-language pathologist with a master's degree, so I'm a professional but I work in the schools. Not much money there, but it's what I love! Neither of us own a home. We both rent. Our cars are paid off and we have some credit card debt (I have more of that than my ex does, unfortunately.)

My son has everything he needs and most of what he wants. We don't have a pool but we live in Hawaii so he has the ocean at his disposal as well as some hotel pools we visit in the summer. :) No pony either, but we live in a very rural area where we have cows across the street and horses just down the road. We also have a dog that until recently, weighed more than my son! Does that count as a pony? (Just kidding, of course!)

I am one year older than my son's first mom and my ex-husband is two years older than she is. I am sure that she loves my son and his half-siblings -- all of whom were adopted from foster care. I know that I have more money than she does, but I also know that doesn't equate to a happy family.

I started my career long before I ever adopted. My husband and I would have divorced whether we'd reproduced biologically, remained childless, or adopted. My situation would be the same regardless of the adoption of my son, except that I'd have had more money to spend on myself if I wasn't paying for his medical insurance, toys, clothes, outings, field trips, after school care, school lunches, etc. Would I have been happier having all that extra money? Not nearly as happy as I am being his mom.

SJM

None of my parents are wealthy. None of them are hurting at all, either. My natural parents have the pool and ponies, but actually, I'm chlorine sensitive, and I don't want a pool. The ponies I'm upset about. Dad and I really had some bad fights about horses growing up--for real. My people (unknown to me) bred nice show horses. His father (known to me) bred nice show horses. Dad wanted nothing at all to do with horses, and I really wanted some. All I got was an abandoned blacksmith shop. :[

But once dad realized that building a new house was more energy efficient than keeping the old one, he built one without borrowing money. We didn't want for anything. Everything he owned, he owned free and clear. He doesn't believe in debt.

My natural parents have done fine for themselves, also. It's a toss-up.

BLW_KAM

Hmm ... our house is only 1600 square feet and our yard is a little over a half acre. One car is paid for, the other has three years to go. We have no credit card debt and we could pay off the mortgage by selling some investments. We take great vacations!

So I wouldn't say we're wealthy, I'd say we're financially secure. (Which is a good thing for our pets because last year's vet bills were over $4,000!)

Torrejon

My ap's were definitely middle class...maybe even toward the lower end. Amom says that there were many years that they paid the mortgage, the insurance, and bought food. As a child, all I knew is that I had everything I really needed (not everything I wanted).

Amom says that they paid nothing for me. I assume there were court costs, paperwork fees...but she denies paying anything. So, I was free.

âœ§ â“â“˜â“›â“¨ â™¥ kaelers, emy & bella

My godparents/AP's are pretty well off, but live quietly and their only big investment is the house. They weren't traditional AP's in that they kind of just inherited me after my mother died; they were listed as default guardians in her will.

I was the last in a wealthy family line, and the rest of my natural family is gone, so my wealth comes largely from inheritance and properties that have been passed down. I have a pretty good income from my business as well.
My husband's a surgeon, so he makes very good money, and also comes from a wealthy family.

We live pretty modestly and with no debts. Like my parents, our only big expense has ever been our house. Financially we are considered wealthy, but make a conscious effort not to live extravagantly.

We are going to be AP's, but not through agencies or anything; money is largely irrelevant in kinship adoptions through the foster system. We never planned on adopting or sought it out... things just kind of fell into place that way.

I have not come in contact with any fabulously wealthy AP's. Most I know are middle or upper middle class. I don't think the stereotype of extremely rich AP's has any merit at all.

tattooedgemini

i think we are barely hovering above the poverty line(if that). we have had to make a lot of personal sacrifice to afford to give the kids all they need after my ason arrived. we had to sell our 2nd tv and our video/cd collections as well as hubby's sword collection just to get him a bed and some clothes that fit. his first mom has more money than we do but she spends it on her addictions. we are getting by on what we have but there are no extras and anything that was not necessary has been cut from the budget. the only 'splurge' we have right now is the net and only because it is on a contract we can't get out of. i gave up my jobs to stay home with the kids so this is just how it has to be for now until the kids are in school full time. right now we are bringing in around 30,000 with 4 kids

Carnie C

I grew up lower middle class. My parents weren't wealthy by a long stretch. we had everything we needed and some of what we wanted but we weren't rich.

Opedial

Well, I am cash poor since I became a mom, that I can tell you!

I am not wealthy, but make enough to support my family while my husband stays home.

We had to show all of our debts and assets as well as monthly bills vs. income when adopting.

monkeykitty83

I have enough money to live comfortably, but I'm not wealthy by any means. I can provide what we need, and a reasonable amount of what we want (I don't think getting every single thing they want is healthy for children anyway, so I don't see not being able to afford absolutely any desire as a problem.) I have a mutual fund as backup for emergencies, and virtually no debt. I'm definitely not in the "lots and lots of money" camp, and have no desire to be, since I think there's a lot more to life than how much you have in the bank-- but I consider myself financial stable, and our life comfortable while not excessive.

Serenity71

We are comfortable. But we know money is something not to be abused so we do things like grow our own vegies and herbs. We already have a scolarship plan for our kids education that will take them through to Uniersity if they chose to go. We plan ahead but that just comes from both my husband and I being restricted on opportunites when we were kids. (We know it will be expensive, if they don't go to Uni then the money will still be there for them, but they won't be told that until they decide what they want from life. I don't want them thinking they'll just skip education for an instant gain. (Like, I could buy my first car with that...teens!:)

They'll have to earn pocket money just like we did...I don't want to raise kids spoilt in material things and just getting whatever they want when they want.

Edit; Out ward showing of weath doesn't make you rich...or better... I have relatives you could call millionare's but their money is tied up in the farmland and livestock. (And they know money and seasons are fickle, and a good smart farmer plans for the future or you hit a bad season and lose everything. Wealth isn't measured by a bank balance.)They aren't showy people. They don't need to be. I learned early not to judge a book by its cover. Thats just snobby.

sunny

Like Linny and BOTZ, I was raised by a family who had a lot less money than my natural one. I would describe it as lower middle class. There were no extras, no money for hobbies, sports, or vacations.

My natural family was/is VERY wealthy. My grandfather was already a millionaire in the 1970s. My parents met at their yacht club. They have both lived in a world I will probably never experience--don't know if that's good or bad.

This dicotomy has continued to be a source of struggle in my reunion with my mother (my father is dead). She doesn't know what is like NOT to have money, and the freedom that it comes with. She thinks I have 'downstairs' (as in Upstairs/Downstairs) mentality. She's probably right. I often bite my tongue, because I often feel like reminding her that I didn't have time as a teen, say, to spend a summer in England reading Jane Austen (like she did), because I was working in fast food restaurants. I don't want to hurt her more.

Our lives have been very different, a social experiment gone bad. That said, my ngrandfather has been very generous to me, monetarily, over the years.

BOTZ

"Adoptees: were you adopted into "wealthy" families?"

Not remotely. When I was 12, I had exactly 2 pairs of pants (one was fairly threadbare, too) and I got teased mercilessly about it at school. We ate fairly normally thanks to both state and church-based welfare. I could only participate in activities where there was a 'scholarship' of some kind available or one of the leaders/organizers/directors took pity on me. I worked when I was 14, so my little sister could do a particular activity. I worked for the director (without pay) to 'pay' her fees.

My a-parents declared bankruptcy when I was 13.

My Natural Mom is far better off than my a-parents. The ONLY time that was NOT true was the first 6 months after I was born -- since then, she's been well off and they have NEVER been.

Since the age thing came up. I am 36. My Mom is in her 50s and my a-parents are in their 70s (one LATE 70s). There is a full generation 'missing' in my a-family. Just an additional note -- my little (also adopted) sister is 27.

sam22254

I'm not a adopted parent but the couple who stole my grandson are not really any better than my son's income the difference is that the jury thought that my grandson would be better off in a 2 parent family than a single parent just like the couple tried to tell my son. Don't you want him raised with both a mother and father He asked them if one of them died would they give him up since they would no longer be a 2parent family. This adoption agency won't adopt to singleÂ women or men.Â My grandson is paying the price for adoption agency and couples like this. I see the sadness in his eyes when we have to say good bye every month.after visitation.

Tears In Rain

I just want to say that everyone of you on here is amazing for sacrificing what you had to in order to give your children what you could give. That is truly amazing and deserves a compliment. Some people tend to forget what a simple joy having a family is. I think it's great that everyone on here has made their lives so beautiful! ;) Peace

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