Adoptive parents what would you do?

IDK!!

There is nothing my child caould do to lose my love and support.

Although a child maybe unexpected, there's always room in my home for another, that is, if it were necessary. I would do my best to ensure she could still get an education and follow her dreams as a mother.

Freckle Face

My first thought is counseling to help.

My second thought is if you want to act like an adult it time to put your big girl pantys on and deal with it. I would help her to research and make an informed decision. It would be totally her decision, i would have to keep my mouth shut. I would support her 100% not matter her decision, without my influence. Her baby, her decision.

Don't have any boys but let me take a guess. The two who made the baby would have to decide. I would support both of them and encourage them to make a decision together.

Warrior Mom

Oh, I have thought of this. I have a 15-year-old daughter who is struggling with the usual teen challenges on top of adoption issues. She has made some really unsafe choices already, and I have had to face the possibility that something like that could happen. I don't have a single doubt in my mind what I would want her to do. First of all, I would let her know that the choice is hers, and that I will support whatever choice she makes.
I would spend lots of time with her, and also provide her with good counselors so that she could make an EDUCATED decision.
Last of all, I would pray with all my heart that she would choose to keep the child. I know how much it would hurt ME to lose my grandchild. I think I know that it would also devesate her if she lost her child to adoption.
Now, seeing as how I'm an adoptive mom, does that sound like I'm saying that my experience with adoption has been bad? No, absolutely not. I'm just saying that adoption is traumatic for everyone, and should truthfully be a last resort when the child's very safety is at stake. If a teenager has a family who can help her and be there for her, then there's no logical reason a baby should be placed for adoption. A couple of hundred years ago it was quite common for teenagers to become wives and mothers. It's not about a teenager's age. It's about whether she has the ability to keep the baby safe. If she has supportive family to help her, the odds are greatly in favor of the child's life being less traumatic than if the child is adopted.

thefoxxww2

If it was my son (who's 2 1/2) or his girlfriend I'd give them all their options and support them in making a choice that makes sense for the two of them.

If they wanted to parent, I would give them every resource I could to be able to do that. If they want to make an adoption plan, I would assist with that (with the hopes that they would choose to have an open adoption) and make sure they are dealing with an ethical agency. If they chose abortion, I would support that choice as well.

Kassy

I think I would just assume that my daughter was going to have her baby and raise it at home with us.

If it was our son, and the mother didn't want the baby, I would again assume that he was going to bring it home and raise it with us.

Now you've got me wondering what I'd do if my daughter waited a week then told me that she was going to abort, or that she wanted to place her baby for adoption. I don't know what I'd do then.

Gaia Raain

I really liked the "Dr. Phil approach". Whatever avenue she is leaning toward, I'd try to find a way to get her some experience in that area. For instance, if she is leaning toward aborting, I would try to find some women who had had abortions who could talk to her and explain what it was like for them. If she was leaning toward completing the pregnancy, and considering adoption, then I would find some first mothers for her to talk to. If she's considering parenting, I'd go get those dolls that wake you up 15 times a night, lol. Or maybe, if I had a friend with a young child, have her stay with the friend for awhile to see what goes into parenting.

I'd try really hard not to sway her decisions one way or another, but I'd want her to be VERY informed, and talk to a lot of people about the reality of the situation before making any final decisions. I would really hope that she would keep the baby and take care of him/her herself. But, I would also empathize with the difficult choice she has to make, and understand that I have never been in her position, and therefore, I'm not in any kind of position to tell her what to do.

If my son were to tell me that his girlfriend were pregnant, I would offer to talk to her if she wanted to. I don't know that I would really feel that it was my place to step in any further than that, unless I had developed a close relationship with her or her parents. That would be a really sticky situation (one that I have put some thought into, and still don't have any clear answers).

Sherry D

I have 2 children, 10 years apart. The oldest, a girl, is by birth, the youngest, a boy by adoption. I never married until my son was 6. My daughter got pregnant at 19 and the baby was premature by 2 months. She never bonded with him and it caused a real problem for me. I did bond but also saw that she was too immature, too selfish, and no way ready for a baby, let alone a preemie. I have a very deep faith and close friends who also have a deep faith. My closest friend's child is also adopted. I went back to the agency I worked with to get my son and placed my grandson with a couple I picked out. He's almost 10 and doing well. At first I saw him but later pulled back. It was a difficult decision but I was too old to raise a baby. If my son got a girl pregnant, I would abide by their decision. Having been in a position where I desperately wanted a baby, I can relate. I'd want to use the same agency.

Oh me oh my...â™¥

I support adoption 100% in the right situation. If it were one of my children making the choice I would discourage it becuase we have a very supportive family that could raise a child. I wouldn't understand why you would give a child up if you have the ability to care for it and have the support to meet the needs of the child.

I would discuss the options with my child and try to come to a decision that they can live with

mommy2squee

My son is nine, so this possibility isn't too far off.

Our policy is that he needs to support the mother in whatever her decision is. I would be crushed if she chose an abortion, and would insist that we be in on the planning of any adoption.

I don't think that kids should be raising kids, but if that was their decision, then we would support them in it, helping with childcare, and temporarily with housing until they were able to afford their own home/ apartment.

If the children were very young,(under 15) we might seek custody if an adoption were planned, and perhaps even if one weren't. Kids that age aren't ready to make this kind of decision. Much older than that, though, and I think we would be too old to consider parenting their child.

Answer Fairy

No matter what the decision is, it is not an easy choice to make. Regardless of your own beliefs, you need to let her decide (or him) on his own. It has nothing to do with blood ties. You can't sacrifice your dreams simply to hang on to something like that. If the child was under 16, I would encourage abortion.

The hardest thing in the world is to sit back and be 100% supportive without coloring their choice.

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