Am I missing something?

Unknown....

Most I would say of the Top Contributor's in this particular section are adult adoptees that are not happy about not having been raised by their birth family.
In some cases, there may be more coercion of young mothers to give up babies they didn't want to give up which causes issues later in reunion when the adopted child that thought they were unwanted finds out their birth mother did want them. Unfortunately, that has turned some completely against all adoption even of children waiting in foster care, while others who are against infant adoption still recognize the need for adoption from foster care of waiting children.
There's a whole dirty underbelly of adoption that it takes some wading through to cipher out.. Basically, there's agency adoption of babies that have been really abandoned and children who's parents rights have been terminated, AND then there's a whole different animal in the form of private agencies that charge exorbitant fees and coerce young mothers into giving up the baby they're pregnant with..
Most people here are against the latter form of adoption, however, it sees that they forget to clarify that.. Though, there are some here that believe adoption is never necessary and children should be raised with biological parents no matter what..
edited to add...
That answer Anastasia gave was that she would never date anyone who WASN'T against adoption.. As in she's anti-adoption and would never date anyone that wasn't anti-adoption..

PhilM

Perhaps you might want to look at a few books on the subject of adoption from the adoptee point of view. It might help you understand the complexity of adoption, and may give you some sense of the answer to your question. Here are some reading suggestions:

* "Being Adopted: The Lifelong Search for Self" by Brodzinsky, Schecter, and Henig

* "Journey of the Adopted Self" by Betty Jean Lifton

* "The Primal Wound" by Nancy Verrier

ETA: Just to point out... Most of the "pro-adoption" people are actually adoptive parents. And most of the so-called "anti-adoption" people are adoptees. That suggests that it's not a win-win situation. Adoptive parents get the kid they always wanted. Adoptees lose their identity. There are other ways, even today, of helping children in need of homes without stripping them of their identity and creating fictional identities. No one is suggesting children don't need love and affection.

Laurel J

I was relinquished for adoption because my mother wasn't married. Did that make her unfit? Thousands of single mothers and their children would surely disagree.

Please read Gaia Rain's answer very carefully. I can't say it better than she did, and I feel cranky today, so if I tried I'd only make you feel more defensive. If you really want to learn, you'll keep an open mind rather than just seizing on the one answer that agrees with you.

Mei-Ling

"And here I am thinking that giving a good home to a child in need was a GOOD thing!"

You're not wrong about that. But I will tell you this:

In general, society sees it as a child who is orphaned (which is wrong, as the real definition of an orphan is ONLY if both biological parents are actually dead).

I respect that your opinion about your birthdad just being that - a birthdad.

Giving a good home to a child is obviously a very good thing. But there is no guarantee if that home will *always* be good. Yes, chances are after having done a homestudy and background check, that home will be good and loving one.

Is it always that way? No. Most of the time, it IS. But not ALWAYS.

But it's not just about the child. It's about the birthparents, too. A lot of birthparents have very little say in it and they are apparently not allowed to love or grieve for the child that was lost to adoption.

http://sisterheping.wordpress.com/

Gaia Raain

I'm a prospective adoptive parent. I pretty much had the same question when I came here. Now, I'm on their side. Adoption is not usually the best option for kids. Right now, for foster kids in the USA, there are really no better options if they are unable to return to their natural families, so it is still necessary. Other forms of adoption are pretty iffy. Do your research, stick around here, listen to adoptees and their reasons for disliking adoption, and just be open to a new viewpoint.

If your reason for adopting is to help kids...you'll want to know what those kids have to say about it as adults. If you want to adopt for your own desires...don't. It's not fair to them.

Edit: You read Anastasia's answer wrong. She said she would never marry a man who WOULD consider adoption. And she WAS adopted by a loving family. You can dislike the institution of adoption and still love the people who raised you.

Edit 2: No, children are separated from their mothers all the time when it's not necessary. Ever heard of infant adoption? Being young or poor does not mean a woman will make a bad mother.

Heather B

Yep, You're missing quite a bit.

Stick around - you'll soon catch up, don't worry.

Giving a home to a child that needs one IS good thing. Unfortunately that's not how infant adoption in the USA is practised today; it's become more about supply and demand and providing a needy home with a child for $$$ :(

Very few mothers who lose their infants to adoption are unfit to parent. They just lack the resources and short-term support to enable them to do so.

Rowan

Wow, i think the same thing. Why are so many against adoption. I was adopted as i baby, and i couldn't be happier. my APs were loving people who gave me a home, their name, everything my BPs could not.If my BPs had kept me, i don't know where i would be today. I have met my BPs and i would not have wanted to grow up in that environment

Please, do not let a few naysayers ad bitter people sway you from your decision to adopt. I think it's wonderful you want to adopt a child and give them a much needed home. I say go for it

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

well, for starters, i never asked to be separated from my mother.

nor did i ask to not be able to legally own a birth certificate.

nor did i sign up for secrecy and lies.

ETA:

you read correctly. i woudld never adopt and i do not condone adoption.

i adore my a aparents. i still despise adoption.

try being an adoptee on for size. lose your family , your heritage, your everything....then live your life being EXPECTED to be grateful about it.

get back to me after you do this.
should i go on?

Santa's Lil' Helper

Ask any of the thousands of kids in the foster care system if they had wished they were relinquished at birth instead of being neglected, abused and left to languish for years in the system.

If more mother's made the sacrifice of relinquishing children they could not care for their would be less children entering the system. These are not temporary situations as people would have you believe very few of these woman climb out of poverty to adequately provide for their children.

I have one adopted daughter who is the daughter of a cousin. I have custody of two other children who are also relatives. There parents have voluntarily relinquished their parental rights and we are awaiting finalization of their adoptions. They WANT to be adopted.....imagine that!!! Do not believe everything you read on here. The anti-adoption liberal agenda is alive and well!

Enter Your Message or Comment

User Name:
User Email:
Post a comment: