Aparents, what was it like to become a parent?

HappyMomAnna

I became a Parent in 1983 when my first child was born... Since then I gave birth to a second child in 1984 and adopted siblings from foster care in 2003...

Becoming a Parent was the most awesome thing that ever happened in my life... Today, I take joy in the Unique differences of each of my four children...

Becoming an Adoptive Parent was equally awesome for me... In a few short days it will be the 6th anniversary of the day I met my daughter for the first time.... She was five and I will never forget seeing her for the very first time and how my breath was taken away every bit as much as the first time I laid eyes on the older two...

Happy and successful stories are relative

Our parenting goals are about providing a safe and stable home that will allow our children to grow into their own person no matter what barriers are in the way--or what person they choose to become.... To me being a parent is about being the Wind beneath the Wings of another person until they are able to fly on their own...

Becoming a parent was and is about my personal obligation to provide a healthy and nurturing home for people to become who they are and to make the best choices during their lives until they are able to make their own...

kateiskate

Here's something positive for you:

You know how a lot of people have videos or pics of their birth? I don't. But what I do have is a video of the first time my mom and I met. She, my aunt, uncle, and dad were waiting for me in the airport. A social worker carried me off of the plane and brought me to her, handed me to her, and she cried as she held me for the first time. I cry every time I see the video because I can see in her eyes how much she really loves me and how glad she is to have me. I can see hope reflected in her eyes, and am swept up by how devoted to me she has been since I've been her daughter.

Sofiakat

It didn't feel automatic to me. I kinda felt like I was pretending for the first few months. It was not love at first sight. I couldn't let that happen, nor do I believe that it really can. I spent the first few months teaching my son life skills incase he were to go home to his mom. Slowly we all began to bond with each other and attachments started to take place with my daughter. The relationship between myself and my son was strained because of rads, but at the same time, stronger because of the rads I think. I love them both more than anyone.

Mei-Ling

When I think about how happy my mom must have been to finally have me placed in her arms, I'm also forced to think about the anguish it must have caused my Mama to see her walking out the door with me.

Erin L

It was a contradictory whirlwind of emotions. Of course it's an amazing, indescribable joy to meet your child. I felt that. I also truly "got" the loss involved in adoption for the first time seeing the grief of a foster mother and a birth mother (both of whom we met), and of course my daughter. I had the hurt of a mother wishing I could could make things better for my terrified, confused, "homesick" baby, but really only time and building trust could do that. This is all part of adoption, and out of it we are a family who shares a great deal of love, happiness, and laughter, and we are strong enough and completely comitted to dealing with whatever challenges lie ahead of us. I think that's positive.

Kazi

It was the most life affirming moment I had ever experienced. The moment she was placed in our arms, everything changed. Everything. I was suddenly not the same person anymore. It is hard to describe. I felt like a tigress. It was a very primal feeling. Both my husband and I describe it as very surreal. The hotel conference room (where we met our daughter) was packed with parents, babies, orphanage workers, family members and the like. But at the moment, there was just the three of us. It wasn't until we watched the video after we got home that I realized I had been shaking, hard. I hadn't felt it at the time, but it was very evident on the tape. That and all the happy crying. One of our daughter's most favourite things to watch right now is that video. She asks to see it at least once a week and likes for us to tell her "her story", quite a bit, usually at bedtime. I believe it gives her comfort.

Flying Monkey #073177

Less painful than most.

Nurse Autumn Intactivist NFP

So you want to hear a positive adoption story? Ok, I think I can do that.

I was 19 when I had my son, and I DIDN'T relinquish him! I had pressure to do so, but I RAISED him!!! Now that is what I call positive!

Becoming a parent was the the greatest moment of my life, I can not explain it, it is seriously beyond words or even comprehension, but very real, never the less.

opedial

I am beyond happy that I am a parent. I think my children are well placed with us, they are an ingrained part of my family now and we are all in great love and affection.

There is the happy part, how it was for me to become a parent, absolutely fantastic!

During this time though, I am aware that there was another woman out there, who lost parental rights to my children for having an incapacityi to parent and in fact who made some very bad choices. We adopted children in need of a home absolutely, but let's be realistic...she is still out there and how painful must this time be for her to know she ended not being able to parent her children, and know the children are out there with a new family. Throw my children on top of that, who yes, two were excited to move in and, perhaps due to age have no desire to talk about first mom, and are right where they want/need to be, but that may change later. My eldest though was and is grieving his first mother's loss.

So me as a parent gets to do all the new parent stuff, which is exciting and wonderful. I get to bake cookies and have cocoa, have new xmas traditions, have family game nights and nights snuggling by the fire.

I also get to hug my son while he cried himself to sleep over missing old people in his life. I get to think know that for the first few years of my children's life they suffered neglect and some abuse. And angry as I am for that, I feel nothing but compassion for their other mother, because I know she tried and she just could not do it. But as I have said before...for every joy I am having, she must be having equal amounts of pain. How can I not have compassion.

So becoming a parent is wonderful for me, of course it it. But I would be neglectful to my children if I didn't think about the other people affected by this adoption, and to realize that my excitment will not be shared every day with my children, and go from there.

So yes, it is positive, but let's be real we need to move forward with adoption with a clear understanding of how the children go their to start with.

Nexra

My parents always said I was the best gift they ever received.

I was always loved and well-cared for by them. ^_^

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