Are families interchangeable?

Gaia Raain

No, and thank goodness they are not. No matter how important my chosen Mama is in my life, she cannot replace my parents. If she did, I would look different, act different, and I would not have developed the personality I have now.

It is not possible to erase the influence of the people who created you. It's just not possible. As angry I get at my parents for the abuse they heaped on me, I still love my nose, my hair color, my name, my two little toes (one of which matches each parent's little toe), my hairline (which I get from my dad's side of the family), my fingers (which match my grandma's), and many many other atributes and traits that I couldn't have gotten from anyone else.

Some may think you can simply replace one family with another. But no matter how little time a person has spent in your life, they were still there, and their influence still exists. No human being can simply be replaced with another.

Peaness

This reminds me of those shows where they switch wives in different families...normally it doesn't start off to well but near the end they 'deal' with it while others just don't ever work out.

Interchangeable, yes...capable of replacing, never.

Lillie

No, they are not.

They can be substituted but never replaced.

Erm, no, Mei Ling, my adoptive family substituted for my real family but they weren't "interchageable." My adoptive family could never REPLACE what I lost, they just substituted.

They are not interchangeable to the effect that one can cancel out the other.

anastasia beaverhausen-the real1

i think people try to make them be. that doesn't mean it works or is right.

Mei-Ling

Oh, I don't know about this one.

I felt pretty "interchangeable" when I found my sister exists solely because of my adoption.

Lillie: "substituted" and "replaced" tend to mean the exact same thing. ETA: Oh, I see what you mean now.

Thomas Atwood

Yes! It's like that game I like to play at parties. You know, the one where you turn out the lights and everyone throws their house keys on the floor, then you go home with whoever's keys you pick up. Cool, huh?

Kazi

I don't believe anyone can replace anyone else. Perhaps on paper, but certainly not in the heart.

monkeykitty83

No, but a person can belong to more than one family at a time, and more than one person can fill the same role. Families aren't a simple one-to-one ratio.

A person will always have ties to their biological family, but a person can form ties to an adoptive family too.

A person has two biological parents, but others can fill the parenting role. The adoptive parents should not see themselves as trying to replace the biological parents as people-- they're just assuming the responsibilities. They're the second set of parents, and they're just as real in spite of being different, but they aren't the only set.

When people get married, they don't stop being part of their original family, they gain new family members. When people have a second daughter, that doesn't mean the first girl isn't their daughter anymore because they now have a different one to replace her. The growth of a family or the bridging of two families does not (or at least should not) negate the original family members. I think family is too complex to reduce to a definition of by blood only.

An adoptive family cannot replace a biological family, and shouldn't try. It's just different... but both families are valuable and meaningful. Neither negates the other.

Floozy Moonshine

geico

Clair

They can be but it does not mean the outcome will be good.
Just because you can does not mean you should.

Heather Leigh

No, but they can be intertwined.

bubba

i only have one family the ones who adopted me

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