Are newborns strangers to their natural mothers when they're born?

Sly

Gershom,

I am not at home and don't have my books nearby, but several years ago I read a book named, "Babies Remember Birth". In the book, the author contends that if left to its own devices, an infant can pick his mother's face out of a crowd, will, if placed on her abdomen, find his way to her breast and responds to her voice, all within moments of being born.

A mother's breasts produce milk that is perfect for her own child. Her body responds to his cries and his sounds. She responds to changes in his temperature and body. A mother's breasts let down milk when her own infant cries.

I also know I cannot tell you how many mothers and adoptees have told me that their reunited family "smells right". That tells me that an infant knows his mother's smell, taste, sight and sound, and touch and vice versa.

An infant responds to his mother's heartbeat and the timber of her speech.

Mothers and their newborns are not strangers to one another. Not by a long shot.

Lori A

No, How can they be a stranger to the only thing they have ever known.

magic pointe shoes

No, but because of how long the separation after my son's birth was, I remember feeling that this was true at the time. My children might be a mystery to me once they are born, but they know me from the inside out better than I know myself. I wish I knew that before I relinquished my son.

Aithne

That all depends on how you look at it. To me, no, they are not strangers. They've been together on a constant basis for the past 9 months. For quite a few months, the baby has constantly heard mom's heart beat, her voice, etc. The baby knows who its mother is because its known her from the inside this entire time. Plus, their eye-sight isn't best when they are born anyways so they can't truly see mom's face until the eye-sight begans to clear up and they learn to focus.

xlinzx88x

No. There has been several studies that show that newborns know their natural mothers by scent. I remember at the hospital my son was screaming the whole time but then they gave him to me and he stopped and just stared at me for a long time. They also know their mother's heartbeat (they hear it for months) from others.

Heather B

NO. Bonding begins in the womb

Becky

They recognize their mothers voice and heartbeat, so no.

IDK!!

naw!!

Who thinks that?

Not Adopted

Research in perianatal psychology continues to prove that bonding begins in the womb.

Freckle Face

Hi Gershom,

Absolutely not.

The children that were born from my body knew me. They knew my voice and i was the only thing that comforted them. Its undeniable the bond between newborns and their mothers.

monkeykitty83

Newborns recognize their mothers by touch, smell, sound of her voice, etc.

But that doesn't mean all mothers instantly feel bonded to their infants; that can sometimes take time. If a mother doesn't feel that bond from the moment of birth, she shouldn't feel like a bad mother.

Nor does it mean mothers are never frustrated or confused by their newborns.

They aren't strangers, but that doesn't mean the transition to motherhood is automatically smooth and easy.

Lovely

I think they recognize their mother smell and the sound of their voice.

BOTZ

Absolutely not!

Think about it like this...How many people do you know (in non-arranged, self-selected marriages) who married their spouse before they had known one another for 9 months? I know plenty. Are those people "strangers"? Certainly not. And they have not spent every waking and sleeping hour, minute, second CONNECTED to one another.

My mother provided EVERY single thing I needed. She created me, carried me, fed me, 'built' me...things that happen as a matter of course through a pregnancy carried to term. AND, she sang to me, talked to me, 'touched' and 'rubbed' me (as much as possible), LOVED me...things not part of the standard course or pregnancy...but part of HERS with me.

For my part, I heard, felt, smelled, tasted and 'saw' her (at least the changing of light and dark, etc.). I reacted to what she ate (and I let her know when I didn't 'like' it), I kicked her, I responded to her voice and her touch, I 'cuddled' her (long story...but I believe it because what I did then, in utero, I still do today at age 36, in a manner of speaking), and I REMEMBER her. I even remembered her before we reunited and all the things I remembered were confirmed. And, just for the record, we were separated on the day of my birth. All my memories are pre-verbal (obviously) but they are MEMORIES nonetheless.

No "Blank Slate" here!

Are you (not you, Gersh...I know that) going to tell me that I didn't KNOW my mother when I was born? That I didn't MISS her when she was abruptly and permanently (to my infant mind and senses) gone? That I couldn't tell this other "mommy" was NOT the right one? I could tell. I knew it when I was an infant, when I was 4, when I was 8, when I was 10, when I was 14, when I was 19...and every time in between and up to and including today. (Check my a-mother's journals on our 'bonding' and my 'inexplicable' reactions to her as a small child, if you need evidence.)

So, to the "any mom and dad is better than MY mom, alone" camp -- was that MY fault? The infant, toddler, child who rejected my adoptive mother's 'caring' and 'nurturing'? Was I to blame for the lack of bonding? No. And neither was my a-mother, God love her, because GOD KNOWS she tried! (Blech!) IT WAS NOT NATURAL! I knew MY mother and I knew this woman holding, feeding, touching, etc. me was NOT HER!

'nuf said.

Chocolate Chip

No they're not. They have constantly heard their mom's talking... that's why some pregnant woman actually read to their babies before they're born so the baby can be comforted by her voice when he/she is born. The baby recognizes his mom's scent and voice.

myst1998

From the baby's point of view, no, they are not. There has been much research done on this and there has been proof to show newborns are not the 'clean' slate people think they are.

One book I love on this is "The Secret Life of the Unborn Child" by Thomas Verny.

joesmummy

I would say no as they have experienced averything the mother has experienced from emotions to tastes and also they recognize the mothers voice but if you are implying are they strangers because they dont know what they look like then yes,until they see each other for the first time.
I hope this makes sense.

grapesgum

Oh no. Good - heavens who could believe that? Pre-natal bonding is what guarantees the survival of the human species.

I have an amazing photo of my grandson staring into my daughter's eyes right after he was born. You can see in that photo that their their hearts and souls were one.

Sophie

Ofcourse not.

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