Are view of interracial adoption different in various parts of the US?

almost human

this is a great question!

sadly, i think the fact that it's even up for discussion indicates what an uneasy relationship we all have with the topic of race, much less when we are forced to deal with it's ism in our lives...

i do not believe racism can be narrowed down by region anymore. we live in a mobile culture, and people with bias have been broadcast from sea to shining sea. and the nature of racism has changed, because it is aware of it's public face, so its manifestation is more subtle and nuanced. you never can know when you will meet it or what form it will take. but it lingers. it is everywhere. in practice, we have not caught up with the ideal of "we are the world" yet.

even in a cosmopolitan city your children will encounter racism. but in a cosmopolitan city, there too will your children encounter more people to identify with. even in a city, there are regional differences. i live in a major city, but its cosmopolitan has moved to the edges of the urban center, so the center is now predominantly an economically advantaged racial mono-culture, while various races are forced by economics or by choosing community to hug the city's margins. the racial divide is now a fifteen minute drive by car. it is the inverse of the white flight found during the genesis of surburban developments.

and if you travel to the rural areas, an hour drive by car, race and economic class become even more distinct and separated. i don't believe there is more racism there, just that it is more obvious.

odds are that, even with your best efforts, you will never be able to offer an experience that can give your child adequate access to their race's experience, as your race might be the limiting factor for entry into a racial community. no matter how open and supportive you are with your children, you will not be able to shield them from society recognizing and remarking on how different they are from you. this will come in the form of celebrity, curiosity, criticism, hostility, or second class status. and no matter where you live, your child will encounter subtle and sometimes overt racism. nor will your experiences dealing with race differences in any way match or effect you in the same way it effects your child. this will take its toll, but it will be their own private burden to deal with. so yes, race matters. it hurts a lot. it hurts in ways that deeply alter your self esteem, and the subtle variety takes years to recognize and dissect in order to understand why you feel bad.

i will not speak about my own experience at this time, but i will share the story of an african-american male adopted friend. his well meaning caucasian parents adopted him believing their love and understanding would cancel out the race factor. he was considered too white by the black minority where he grew up. he was considered too black by the white majority where he grew up. (this was a liberal, open-minded community) and though his parents tried to be color blind and provide a color blind world view for him, the truth was his world was color focused. because even if there is no hatred and the society is accepting, the fact is that people still address and relate to people of color differently. it wasn't until he was in high school where some african american sisters took pity on him and helped TEACH him how to fit in better as an african american male that he began to stop feeling like an alien. all of which was to the detriment of his place in white society and to his relationship with his adoptive family, both of which he rejected to be more fully black. he spent his adult life very angry over having been put in this avoidable situation, and it wasn't until a nervous breakdown that he finally came to terms with his adoption and forgave his parents.

this is a stark example. however, most of us transracial adoptees have parallel paths. i believe, if given a choice, most of us would have preferred to be placed in a home that matched racially.

laDYbuG

I live in the Northeast and it is widely accepted here. It is very commonplace. Being bi-racial myself it makes very happy to see people take that step and finally see past race. I don't think race matters all what matters is the love in the home. You could have an all white family with white kids and there is no love or caring in that house and those kids are gonna have some serious issues. but then you could have a multi-racial family with lots of love and caring and those kids turn out to be strong, well-rounded individuals. Of course, you want to be sure to teach the child about their heritage so they are well rounded, but no race does not matter. I think that's a great idea and best of luck to you and your husband!

Jennifer L

I live in the Southwestern US. As an ethnically diverse family, we get "looks" everywhere we go. It just comes part and parcel with having a family that doesn't fit into the "normal" paradiem.

I have never felt or received "disapproval" from people around me because of it. Recently, I was having a conversation with my daughter about ethnicities and I asked her if she'd been teased at school or anything like that.

I got the patented pre-teen eyeroll and the answer "No!" delivered with the "I can't believe you'd think that?" tone. I'm sure all parents of teens/pre-teens know this very well!

When we did visit family in the rural midwest we got more "looks" than in our more urban home. But again, no overt disapproval.

I would, OTOH be very cautious about bringing my children to some parts in the rural deep south. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I consider it a healthy caution.

Suzy Sunshine

I think that it's important that you consider your environment carefully while making your adoption decision. There are parts of this country where people who are not white are treated very differently and I don't think we should subject children to that sort of experience. But you have to look at this question with a good bit of nuance and precision.

I live on the East Coast in a very diverse area, but if I travel one hour west people actually stare at my family like a bunch of slack-jawed yokels. This is not as simple as region, it's more about your city, town and neighborhood.

That said, I've known families raising children of a different race in areas much less ideal than mine and they've done a fine job. Clearly parental skill and effort are part of the equation. Also, even people who may be ignorant can learn and grow.

âˆžinfinitiâˆž

It depends on your attitude is about mixed race families. If you are looking for acceptance from your neighbors, you are not ready to adopt an interracial child.
Would I? In a heartbeat, but then again I would not need to look for approval from anyone else.

Your primary goal should raise adoptive children who don't have to look anywhere else than within themselves for approval.

Erinn

I am from the Southeast region of the United States. For the most part, I would say that interracial couples and families are more readily accepted into today's society; however, the particular area that I am from still maintains a very low tolerance for the situation and it is still generally looked down upon. It is just something that is understood to be "immoral" and "unjust." I wish I could tell you why.

Personally, I'm happy with whatever makes other people happy. I think adoption is a beautiful thing, and I would never condemn a family for their decision to give a child a loving and caring home no matter which races are involved.

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