As an AP (in the future) how can I make sure my child is a 1st class citizen?

Heather B

They don't take the records hostage until the adoption is finalized (contrary to popular belief our mothers don't seal our records on relinquishment, the State does it upon finalization) - so any time up to that point, get your hands on any records for the little one that you can. Bless you for thinking of the adoptee.

So glad to hear from adoptive parents who believe the stigma that permeates adoption needs to be lifted and we are people who deserve the same rights as everyone else.

tickled blue

Hi,
We were not granted access to ANY records on our child, save a severely edited medical record. We were prohibited from the birth certificate, SSN, Medicaid card with original name, etc.

Here is our *brief* story.

Until coming to this board, NO ONE told me anything about my Achild's birth certificate being changed upon adoption through foster care. I found out here, verified it through CPS, and then decided to take action. I can't break the law and I can't forced CPS to give me information. BUT:
I can attend every single court case--wih pen and pad in hand. I have written down every single name associated with my child's case...including his mom, presumptive dad, and extended relatives. I have become close with the first foster parents.....and as friends, we talk about all sorts of things, including all of the info CPS and the mother gave them about my achild's background, birth, medical, and parents. We got a book of medical records with black marker covering every pertinent fact about my child. Interesting that if you take these pages out into the sunlight, the words underneath the marker show up surprisingly well. I even have his patient number at the hospital, his mom's name, address, and even the doctor's name.....all from standing in the sunlight.
None of this will MAKE my child's birth certificate accurate. None of this will make him a '1st class citizen' but I hope it will give him every possible chance of reunion and some sense of identity.

Mom to Foster Children

I have my son's b/c as we needed it to send him to school. I kept it not even knowing why until I came here. I also have a complete copy of his medical history (everytime he went to the doctor and why). Since I have found Y!A I am glad that I kept it and will keep it for him when he is older.

Gaia Raain

Why not do a guardianship or foster care? If you are dead set against your child being treated as a second class citizen because of the current laws, then don't adopt. Or move to an open records state. If you adopt a child in a closed records state, they simply will be treated the same as all other adoptees in that state. Or, you could start caring about the laws and fight to have them changed.

Unfortunately, it's more than just the laws that make adoptee's "second class citizens". The belief that it's a stranger's child's job to fulfill someone who wants a child also perpetuates that stereotype. As long as we (as a society) are not able to look at children as human beings in their own right, who are not there for the pleasure and comfort of adults, this will continue (and other issues also arise from this belief). This issue is much larger than you or me, or anyone on this forum. We have to change our views, change our society's beliefs about children, and about human beings in general, before we will see true equality for adoptees (and others who are affected by this paradigm we all exist in).

ETA: I've been around here for 9 months. If you're going to talk to me, at least spell my name right. You're disrespectful, you purposely take my words and twist them, and you apparently can't read (or spell). Why do I bother? You know you're in the wrong. You just need to find some way - any way - to justify your actions so that YOU can get your hands on a kid. Have at it. Your conscience, not mine.

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