Baby Adoption?

Independ"ant"

You tell her from day 1, otherwise, you will be the reason for her being crushed.

mmowens7405

It's not easy, I was adopted and I knew because I was 7 when I was finally adopted. Make sure you tell her from day one. If it's an open adoption then let them be apart of the bio parents lives (visitation, supervised or not what ever you are comfortable with) just dont hide ANYTHING...in the end YOU will be blamed...and she may hold it over you when she finds out. Besides, when it comes to her medical history its always good to know...(Like when shes on her own)

scdance

i would tell her from very young, just talk about it, keep up a diologue about it. maybe "read" her stories about adoption starting when shes almost too young to understand it, but as she starts developing memory and understadning of family dynamics she'll eventually get it and it wont seem weird or shocking, or devistating. it will just be what it is. it will be normal for her.

i think that doing it that way is a lot less traumatizing for her.

congrats! and good luck!

Marie C

You should tell her she was adopted from the day she is placed in your home, even if she is not old enough to understand what you are saying. If she grows up knowing from the beginning that she was adopted, it will seem far more natural and "okay" to her than if you make a big, dramatic announcement about it when she is older.

Since you are at the very beginning of the process, this would be a wonderful time for you and your husband to start reading as much as possible about raising an adopted child. This will help you learn to answer all your daughter's questions easily and comfortably as she gets older. Please let her know from the time she is very young that she is free to ask you any question that comes into her head, and free to talk about (and miss) her birth parents.

Dayle

Please, tell her. I would begin to talk to her, as early as possible. As she begins to talk and ask questions, there will be opportunities for you to introduce adoption. When she gets older and ask questions about her first mom, be honest, but be kind. Give her the information that was given to you, not interjecting your opinion of her first mom, but sharing with her the truth, in a kind, loving way.

Chael

I would tell her at the earliest point that she can understand it. If she keeps to be a teenager and then finds out that you have been keeping this huge secret from her she will not trust you or your husband anymore. Just make sure that you let her know that she is extra special because you chose her.

piglet

Be honest with her, because you are going to want her to be honest with you. Tell her the reason why you adopted her. Tell her why her parents put her up for adoption. Let her know her biological mom loves her, because if she didn't she would not be here today. Always tell her you love her and always will. If you have other children treat them all equally, because if you don't she'll start rejecting you because of the situation. In my opinion, when you think she is ready, not you, tell her. She may have a lot of questions, so be prepared. Start doing your research on her family, try together pictures, and try to get her family history.

well just tell her her mommy loved her so much but she couldn't take care of her so since her momma loved her she wanted to give her the best life she could possibly have!
i would say around age 4 or 5 when they begin to understand!

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