Been happily married for 5 1/2 yrs, love kids and trying to conceive but unsuccessful. Adoption best option?

Marie C

Absolutely! If you truly want to be a parent, it doesn't matter whether you give birth to a child or adopt.....it's being a Mom or Dad that really matters, not whether you spent 12 hours pushing the kid out.

punxy_girl

Since I have biological and adopted children, I feel that I can say that there is absolutely no difference in how I feel toward them. I love them all equally, fiercely, and totally. The only thing you will be missing is the pregnancy part which may be a blessing or a curse. (I ended up with bedrest for all my pregnancies since they all wanted to come early.) Adoption is wonderful and the child is "YOUR OWN"!!

ladybmw1218

It's the best option for some, others should do infertility treatments, and still others should live childfree. Adoption is not for everyone and is complex emotionally for everyone involved, so I suggest you educate yourself as much as possible. Although it is difficult, also look at the darker side of adoption, many people do not and then are unprepared when it's not all sunshine and roses.

The transference of parenting of a human being from a biological mother to strangers is enormous, and too many do not consider the enormity of it.

It can be wonderful, it just shouldn't be entered into lightly.

eve

adoption is a wonderful way to have a family. often it takes a lot of work to come to the decision to persue adoption, especially in today's world where there are so many infertility options to go through. I've kind of been through it all. Gave birth to one beautiful child, having gotten pregnant on the first try. But, never again. I tried everything and the drugs you have to take for treament are awful and they are very difficult emotionally. I adopted two children. They are absolutely my own children and I love them and am as thrilled and happy to have them in my life as the one I had in my own womb. Adoption takes a while and usually costs a lot but, it does work (unlike fertility treatments!) Go through a reputable agency and research all your options and keep your eyes and heart open and it will work out. Also, it's very common for couples to have a hard time agreeing on treatments and/or adoption on the same time frame. Support each other and be patient but not too patient.

old man

If you're in the U.S. good luck, be ready to jump through hoops, 2 of my brothers had better luck adopting from Guatamala.It is pretty expensive though. I agree with fruitbat to exhaust all of your fertility options first. If you still must adopt, you will love just the same as your own biological children.

sweetness

possibly maybe u should look into infertilization

ABBMAMA

when you and your partner are ready to stop trying to conceive, you both will have some work to do in "moving on" to consider adoption. If you are at that point now, and would like opinions about adoption -- yes, I definitely think adoption is a wonderful way to start a family. You will be part of a community of families who have come together through adoption, and all of you will share your stories of how exciting your journey was in finding your child. But only when you're ready to "let go" of the dream of conception and pregnancy will you be ready for that journey. I wish you much luck and love!

anonymouse

Personally, I think so. You can adopt infants from US and Canada or adopt slightly older (up to one year old) babies internationally. Most women get attached almost immediately. Most men take a little bit more time to get used to an adopted baby, but eventually get attached. Check out adoption.com to get some basic information. You may also want to talk to an adoption agency and people who have adopted locally and internationally to get an idea of what adoption was like (process and the life after child) so that you can make a good decision.

Local adoptions get you infants but take several years. International adoptions take about 1-3 years and get you young babies but not infants.

ergoa112

and.. sounds like stress.. take your mind off of all this for a bit and have fun, kids will come along soon enough,

Kristi J

I gave birth to a baby and then adopted one 3 years later and it was a great choice for me. If the dna is not the most important thing to you then give a good home to a child instead of contributing to the planets population issues.

BPD Wife

I feel for you. Been where you are! We had three failed ICSI procedures (a form of IVF) and basically had given up hope on having a family. But when we adopted our son, it was the best thing that ever happened to us. I was worried that I wouldn't love a child we adopted as much as one I gave birth to, but the moment I held him, he was my son...no doubt in my mind or my heart!

Good luck to you.

Wise Advice

Adoption procedures and fertility procedures both put you through a lot of stress, a lot of decisions, a lot of waiting, a lot of cash. But fertility treatments end without success about half the time, and the time and money by then are gone. Adoption, while it doesn't always work out as you imagined it would, always, if you persevere, ends with a child in your house.

You won't find your answer here, just a lot of people's opinions. Your answer is in your heart.

TLHGSS6

My friend went through the same problem and was told she couldn't have children. The doc. put her on Clomid, a fertility drug. After taking the risk of multiples she was pregnant 3 months later and had a beautiful boy. Adoption is also a beautiful thing. Try the drug first.

Jessica Rabbit

It really depends on the couple. its right for some people and not others. Have you looked into why you havent concieved? Maybe you could get help and wouldnt need to go down this route?

I would say be sure adoption is what you want. It is a very intrusive process that can be quite stressful and upsetting and it can be a very lengthly process so you need to be prepared

Good luck

Emirald67

Adoption can be a wonderful thing. There are so many babies and kids that need homes, such as in Ukraine, China, etc. You would probably love them just as much as a child that was not adopted. Do some real thourough thinking before you decide. If your heart is telling you to adopt, then that's probably what you should do. Im adopted and I have had a great childhood/teenhood.. etc. Good luck!

Teacher

Adoption is great.

Clomid does't work for everyone. I tried 12 cycles on Clomid, all it did was make me extremely irritable.

My husband and I are just about to adopt two brothers, we meet them in 10 days!

Good luck in whatever you decide.

madrededos

Like some of the other responders, I have one biological child - easily gotten - and then we adopted after experiencing infertility. I have two main points to make:
1) You cannot choose which genes your child gets, and you can't predict it either.

A lot of people get down on adoption because they will not pass down something they like about themselves, like their athleticism or something. My daughter got my smile, but she also got my stubborn nature, my migraines, and a minor blood disorder from my husband. Adopted kids come guilt-free for you and they are still a blank slate, so they can often learn whatever your passion is.

2) People told us when we adopted, "What if you get pregnant now?" and they told us stories about this happening to other couples. I found out this is true in 8% of cases, but they are the most over-reported 8% I've ever heard of. The fact is, we wanted 3; we could only afford to adopt once, so we thought maybe we would have another after we adopted. But it never happened, and now we are OK with that.

There are many babies out there, especially internationally, who need homes. Why put yourselves through the stress, misery, and expense of extensive infertility treatments when you can relax and welcome a wonderful baby home?

mea

adopton is a great thing their are so many kids that need homes. but if you want to have one your own talk to your doctor my friend has been trying for 2 years and they found a sist on overies it finally burst and the doctors say she will be able to have kids now. they put her on alot of diferent drugs before they found the sist so ask your doctor what he recomends.

firefighterace

Dont stress and dont give up keep trying

fruitbat427

Talk to a doctor. They can help you with conception methods. Don't give up! Having a baby of your own is a great experience--anyone will tell you that. :)

Rhiannon2

I just saw on the News tonight that Women who practice Yoga doubles their changes of getting pregnant. It's the relaxing methods used . I've heard that relaxing is a crucial factor in your ability to get pregnant. I've heard of a couple that tried for years to have a baby and no luck so, they adopted. Right after they brought the baby home, she got pregnant. She wasn't constantly thinking about it anymore. She was more relaxed. Give it a try, it couldn't hurt. Good luck!

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