Birth mothers who regret giving their child up for adoption?

Lori A

Her father was around for 8 months. We stayed together as much as we could, he offered to honor any decision I made, then one day he was just gone.

There were no computers, no birth control without prescription, no condoms sold to minors, no abortions, no government programs, or counseling, so to consider any of these things would have been..... dreaming on my part.

Had he been able to stay with me, it might have been different. Vietnam ranked over me and most of my friends who went there came home in a box. I remember going to their funerals.

No one elses fault, my decision, our choice, just out ranked, and left alone at a time when it was socially unacceptable to be an unwed mother.

Possum

My mother was manipulated by her mother - the church - and Australian society in 1969.

She was told to go home and 'get over it' - all because she was unwed and pregnant.

She never got over it.

Heather B

They didn't bother coercing my Mom. They just told her I was dead.

Joy Noelle

My friend is pregnant now and her family is trying to convince her to give the baby up for adoption because her boyfriend left. She does not want to give her baby away and is perfectly capable of doing it on her own. She agreed to talk to an adoption agency but felt very pressured and as though they told her it was her only option. She is not going back.
I brought her to Carenet. They will help with the adoption if you so choose but they offer immense assistance and counseling for women who want to parent their child as well.

Philippa

I was manipulated by my parents and by the time I had any contact with the adoption agency whom they were dealing with I was already resigning myself that I was on a losing battle. The adoption agency loved me as I believed all their lies.

If the social wrecker is still alive I would quite willingly tell her she wrecked two lives - mine and my son's - that I didn't have more children, I never forgot my son and most importantly she didn't have a clue what she was talking about when she said he would be too happy with his adoptive parents to want to know me. If she is dead I would dance on her grave.

palmyrafan

No. I was manipulated by my step-mother who did not want me or my child in the house. Her reaction when she found out I was pregnant? "Good gracious what will the neighbors think!" No lie. She actually said that. So I was shipped off to an unwed mothers home. My father initially agreed but has since said that his hands were tied and he tried to do what he thought was best for me.

In the 29 years since, I have come to accept that the baby girl (whom I have met and have a relationship with) was raised by a very good family with good values. She graduated high school, college and now has two small children of her own with her husband.

I now understand that what I thought was self-ish was actually self-less. By the time I signed the adoption papers it truly was what I wanted to do. I realized that it would be the best thing for HER, not me.

Adopting out your baby is a personal decision. For years I've had the sniping remarks of other mothers who have had the audacity to state "what kind of a person are you that you would give up your own child". To which I reply, "one who loved her daughter enough to let her go".

Flying Monkey #073177

I was forced to sign over my rights, not manipulated or coerced. Manipulation and coercion are usually more subtle, there was nothing subtle about being told "Do this or we will do it for you."

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